Laurie Loughlin - Hanukcats: and Other Traditional Jewish Songs for Cats

H A N U K C A T S AND OTHER TRADITIONAL JEWISH SONGS FOR CATS LAURIE LOUGHLIN Illustrations by GEMMA CORRELL Text copyright 1993, 2013 by Laurie Loughlin. Illustrations by Gemma Correll. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. The author and publisher have made every reasonable attempt to determine that the songs parodied in this work are in the public domain. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available.

ISBN 978-1-4521-2966-2 Chronicle Books LLC 680 Second Street San Francisco, California 94107 www.chroniclebooks.com

For my mother and father, Laura and Richard Loughlin,
who always believed in miracles. MY THANKS TO CANTOR BERNARD GUTCHEON , for sharing his music and advising me; LEE FLOERSHEIMER , for her research assistance; RYAN DIAZ for his fresh book designs; APRIL WHITNEY for publicizing this feline fun; my menshen past ( TRUDY , MAX , GRETA , PENELOPE , and SPIKE LOUISE ) and present ( NED and REIKO ) HEVENU SHALOM FOR SHABBAT We want some tuna and chicken. We want some tuna and chicken. We want some tuna and chicken. We want some tuna, chicken, Beef would be nice, too. (Repeat several times, increasing the tempo each time.) KEMAH, KEMAH Kmart, Kmart, go there, please.

Buy me shampoo that kills fleas. Hanukkah is glee, eight presents for me. Purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, Purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, Hanukkah is glee, eight presents for me. How about a scratching board, Foam balls dangling from a cord? Catnip birds and mice would be very nice. Purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, Purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, purr, Hanukkah is glee, eight presents for me.

MAOZ TSUR Matted fur all over me, Smoothness now my coat lacks. MAOZ TSUR Matted fur all over me, Smoothness now my coat lacks.

Being long-haired certainly Has its cosmetic drawbacks. Knots that thwart the hairbrush, All attempts to tame my tress, It just makes me feel so blah Cause Ill look bad for Hanukkah. It just makes me feel so blah Cause Ill look bad for Hanukkah.

I HAVE A LITTLE DREIDEL You have a little dreidel With which Id like to play, The minute youre not looking, Ill spirit it away. Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, With which Id like to play, Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, Ill spirit it away. I have a lovely body With legs so long and thin.

My paw will fling the dreidel And make it spin, spin, spin. Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, My legs are long and thin. Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, Ill make it spin, spin, spin. I dont care what it stops on, Nun, gimel, he, or shin. I make up my own rules, and Whichever one, I win! Dreidel, dreidel, dreidle, Nun, gimel, he, or shin, Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, Whichever one, I win!

HI NE BO Tiny bow atop your dress, I can pull it out, I guess. I will jump right Upon your lap, And that tiny bow Ill snap! I will jump up on your lap, and that tiny bow Ill snap! OY HANUKA Oh, yarmulkes! Oh, yarmulkes! Our precious little caps, We wear you to the synagogue And also taking naps.

Cotton, wool, and satin, Opaques and sheers, When perched atop our heads, they Complement our ears. In neons and pastels, They wont blow off even in a breeze. They decorate our uppers. We put them on for suppers And sometimes even when were climbing trees. Oh, yarmulkes! Oh, yarmulkes! You helped make history When we reclaimed our holy Temple Back in B.C.E. After all we did, its So annoying that Nobody ever mentions The Maccabees were cats! In neons and pastels, We flowed like a rainbow down the hill.

We frightened Antiochus. His legions could not knock us. We love you, yarmulkes, and always will!

CHANUKA BLESSINGS I goofed today in the den, Lost my breakfast shortly after ten. I left my mark upon the brand-new rug And on presents so brightly wrapped For Hanukkah. Uuh-oh. I goofed at lunchtime once more, Knocked a pan of latkes on the floor.

Hot oil spilled across linoleum Which was warping as it flowed. Everyone saw me, too. Uuh-oh. I goofed this evening again, Swiped the shammes, buried it and then Came back inside where Uncle Clyde Some wax he spied On my whiskers. Uuh-oh.

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