Laurie Loughlin - Catmas Carols

Text copyright 1993, 2013 by Laurie Loughlin. Illustrations by Gemma Correll. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. The author and publisher have made every reasonable attempt to determine that the songs parodied in this work are in the public domain. ISBN: 978-1-4521-2949-5 The Library of Congress has cataloged the previous edition as follows: Loughlin, Laurie.

Catmas Carols / Laurie Loughlin. pages cm ISBN 978-1-4521-1246-6 1. CatsHumor. 2. Carols, EnglishHumor. 3.

ChristmasHumor. 4. Parodies. I. Correll, Gemma, illustrator. Title. Title.

PN6231.C23L68 2013 818.5402dc23 2012045218 Designed by Ryan Diaz Chronicle Books LLC 680 Second Street San Francisco, California 94107 www.chroniclebooks.com In memory of Max, beloved friend. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY PARENTS, RICHARD and LAURA LOUGHLIN , for placing my childhood rocking chair next to the record player and encouraging my love of songs; MY EDITOR, EMILIE SANDOZ , for making this book new again; GEMMA CORRELL for her endearing illustrations; MY FRIENDS, JOHN RUMBLE, CHRISTA SHREFFLER , and BOB REDDIG for coming up with some of the parody titles; and ALL CATS (especially REIKO and NED ) for being the splendid individuals they are.

WE THREE KINGS OF ORIENT ARE We three cats of Orient are Terrified to get in the car. Why go out for celebrating? Well stay right where we are. Oooh CHORUS: Home is heaven. Home is good.

Home is where we get our food. Why go out for Christmas parties? Frankly were not in the mood. Were not happy with a trip yet. Seems they always end at the vet. These excursions are diversions Wed just as soon forget. Oooh (Repeat CHORUS) We three cats are Siamese, Himalayan, and Tonkinese.

Bring us gifts of meat with gravy And mild kinds of cheese. Oooh (Repeat CHORUS)

O TANNENBAUM Oh, Christmas Tree! Oh, Christmas Tree! Your ornaments shine temptingly. I want to whack them with my paw And grab them when they hit the floor. Oh, Christmas Tree! Oh, Christmas Tree! Your ornaments shine temptingly. AWAY IN A MANGER Awake in a cat bed, She cant go to sleep. Shes thinking of cat toys That shed like to keep.

Shes seen them in catalogs And on TV, And shes left her Christmas list Pinned to the tree. A catnip-filled heart and A long piece of string, A large kitty condo, With everything, A stocking with treats and A brush for her fur, Shes hoping that Santa Will bring these for her.

THE FIRST NOEL The first meow, The angels did say, Was to certain white Persians On rugs where they lay, On rugs where they Lay trying to sleep, Having dreams about cat life That were so deep. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Theyll get to do what they want, somehow. DECK THE HALLS Wreck the halls with two cats running, Fa-la-la-la-lala-la-la-la.

Fur goes flying, lamps get done in, Fa-la-la-la-lala-la-la-la. Tumbling swiftly down the stairway, Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la, la, la. Woe to those who get in their way, Fa-la-la-la-lala-la-la-la.

I SAW THREE SHIPS I saw three cats prance merrily On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day, I saw three cats prance merrily On Christmas Day, in the morning. They played a game of hide-and-seek On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day, They played a game of hide-and-seek Oh Christmas Day, in the morning. And rolled around on the floor with glee On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day, And rolled around on the floor with glee On Christmas Day, in the morning.

Greta, Max, and Penelope On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day, Greta, Max, and Penelope On Christmas Day, in the morning To watch them brings such joy to me On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day, To watch them brings such joy to me On Christmas Day, in the morning.

OH, COME ALL YE FAITHFUL Oh, come all ye furful, Hungry and well-rested, Oh, come ye, oh, come ye to The master bedroom. Come and behold them Snoring loudly neath the sheets, For now its time to wake them, For now its time to wake them, For now its time to wake them On this Christmas morn. Meow, choirs of felines, Meow in expectation. Meow till you get your Mom And Dad out of bed. Glory to food In the cat dish.

Oh, come let us enjoy it. Oh, come let us enjoy it. Oh, come let us enjoy it, Breakfast at last!

GOOD KING WENCESLAS Good cats in the house are bad When their Moms not looking, Stick their noses everywhere Just to see whats cooking. When their claws need polishing, Shred the couch and love seat. They dont heed admonishing, But their misdeeds repeat! Good cats in the house are sad When they feel neglected. They will yowl without respite Or act cool and affected.

Special love at Christmastime Is what they require, That we pet them ceaselessly, Their good looks admire!