Table of Contents
Joachim:
This book is dedicated to my daughter, Caroline, who just graduated from law school and passed the very difficult bar exam. She is now a very successful attorney. I am so proud of her.
And to Victoria, my partner in life who gave me her unconditional love and understanding when I needed it the most.
Ellen:
For B, K & W, my wise, wickedly funny and wonderfully supportive ladies, and D, whose amazing spirit unfailingly keeps my own aloft. And also for my mom, who let me read books before cleaning my room, teaching me the importance of setting priorities based on passions rather than practicalities.
Acknowledgments
Joachim:
I would like to express my sincere appreciation to all the brilliant leaders, mentors, coaches, teachers and executives from whom I have learned so much and the millions of people who have attended my speeches, workshops and seminars over the years. I am very grateful because I have learned from all of you.
Special thanks to readers in South Korea, Taiwan, Japan, Thailand, Greece, Turkey, Denmark, China, Spain, Brazil, Central and South America, as well as those in the United States and Puerto Rico, where I live and work. You have made Dont Eat the Marshmallow... Yet! a worldwide bestseller and given us reason to write this sequel to the original story. I have visited many of your countries to speak and sign books and you have provided me with experiences I will never forget. I hope this book is very useful to you all and, in some small way, influences your life and the lives of your loved ones.
Thanks to Ellen Singer, my coauthor, for collaborating on this book with me. You are an awesome writer, mother and colleague and I am proud to work with you.
Thanks to Denise Silvestro, Katherine Day, Tim Taylor, Lance Fitzgerald, and Berkley president Leslie Gelbman for working with us on the hardest job of all, which is polishing, publicizing and distributing the book so that people can buy it and read it. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to write the first book and now this one.
Thanks to Yahoo! in Latin America, the San Juan Star and WOSO for having me as a regular contributor and to CNN,
Univision, Telemundo, TV Azteca, TV America, the New York Times, Hispanic Business, Hispanic Trends and Hispanic magazine and all other media who have invited me to talk about my books and professional activities.
Thanks to my professional partners, Ramon Arias, from Interamerican Management Consultants; Rick Fernandez, from the Advent Group; Pierce and Jane Howard, from Centacs; and Alan Mcabeea and Ariel Coro.
Thanks to Professor Clemente Vivanco, who has been by my side in the good and bad times.
Thanks to my family, the Posadas and the Beguiristains, for always being there.
Ellen:
Even the most gracious thank-you fails to capture deep appreciation so, with apologies for such inescapable inadequacy, I offer sincerest gratitude to:
My daughters, who tirelessly answered my many and, sometimes, odd research questionseven at three in the morningand who triple- and quadruple-checked every detail;
Evan Hamilton and Aaron Araki, for sharing their passion and expertise about guitars and music;
Jane, Miriam, and the staff of Dystel & Goderich Literary Management, for giving me support, kindness and a much-treasured travel mug;
Denise Silvestro, Katherine Day and everyone at The Berkley Publishing Group for making the post-writing experience nearly as rewarding as the work itself;
Scott Schwimer, my Dudley Do-Right entertainment lawyer, who is always ready to save my day; and
A cryptic pairsomeone who is a bit brash and hugs a lot like Charleyfor their very clear and unified friendship.
Joachims Pre-Parable Analysis
Many people who have stopped to ask for directions have been told, at least once, that you cant get there from here.
Most of us, hearing this discouraging news, turn around and go home. Or maybe we settle for a new destinationa bar or a shopping mallto kill the time wed allotted to getting there.
But successful people dont worry about getting from their current to their desired locations. They dont focus on getting from here to there. They concentrate on the there part and find ways under, around, over and through any obstacles in their paths.
This book will give you a new way of thinking about and achieving your goals. More important, it will show you how to sustain success throughout your life, how to adjust to negative and positive changesboth the pot-holes and the super-speed highwaysso that your journey and your desired destination remain linked.
It all depends on what you do with your marshmallows.
For instance, what would you choose: a million dollars today or a billion dollars in five years? Sex now with the hottest person in the room or sex a year from now and the rest of your life thereafter with the person of your dreams? A vending machine candy bar right this minute or a pound of the worlds finest chocolate next week? Do you live from payday to payday or put away a portion of every dollar you earn so that you can enjoy a comfortable retirement?
Do you seek immediate satisfaction or hold out for what will give you greater long-term happiness? Are you like the average American who saves less than one percent of his disposable income each year? Do you eat your marshmallows every chance you get, gobbling them during times of change, or save and savor them throughout your life?
Dont Gobble the Marshmallow... Ever! is a light-hearted parable wrapped around a rock-solid principle: the ability to delay gratification leads to sustained success in work and life. The fictional tale is based on real-life experiences of the authors and a forty-year-old Stanford University study. Children were left alone in a room each with a marshmallow and given the choice of eating it then or fifteen minutes later, when they were promised an extra marshmallow as a reward for waiting. Some ate theirs right away. Others waited. But the studys real significance came fourteen years later when the researchers discovered that the children who held out for the reward had become more successful than the children who had eaten their marshmallows immediately.
This story begins with Arthur, whom you may have met in my previous book, Dont Eat the Marshmallow... Yet!, graduating from college. Although the former chauffeur has been learning, practicing and preaching the marshmallow principle for five years, his goal-seeking practices fall apart when his life becomes irrevocably altered by... success! Thats rightgetting what we want (or think we want) can be as uncomfortable, distracting and depressing as failure.
Whether you are experiencing an obvious life changegraduation, marriage or divorceor a more subtle change in values, perspective or health, the marshmallow theory is something you can learn (or relearn with Arthur, his college friends, a waitress who aspires to restaurant ownership, a teen who wants to be a rock star and a mother so focused on her children that she has no goals of her own) and apply to your own personal definition of success.
The situations in the parable are also based on real-life experiences. Just like Arthur, I celebrated my first taste of success by spending more than I could afford (on homes, decorators, cars and women). I never had trouble making money; my problem was holding on to my earnings. The higher the income, the greater my debt. Determined to change my fate, I made it my mission to discover the key ingredient to sustained, lifelong success. When I found that the ability to delay gratification was the