Catherine Deveny - Say When

When did you decide that writing was going to be it for you?
Look, I have always written. Journals, letters, graffiti. I was never one of those kids writing their own fabulous adventure books. I was just writing letters to Nana, thanking her for the chocolate biscuits and the hand-knitted jumper that looked like an abortion made of wool. I actually wanted to be Magda Szubanski. But I cant act. So writing it is. For me its like girl, boy, short, tall, gay or straight. You either are a writer or youre not. There are people who write and there are writers. Big difference. Writers have to write. Its like having a shit. And some of it is shit. Exhibit A: Every column Ive ever written.

Were there any women who were a particular influence on you in your formative days?
Carol Burnett, Judy Garland, Mary Magdalene, microbiologist Lyn Howden, Judy Davis in the movie High Tide, Judith Lucy, Ruby Wax, Rachel Berger, Cynthia Heimel, Marieke van Geloven, Kerry Armstrong

What was the biggest obstacle you had to overcome to get to where you are, career-wise, today?
Being a shit writer. Who cant spell.

In Australia, it often seems as though one way for women who dont fit the medias preferred stereotypes to succeed is through comedy. Do you think this is a fair assessment, and if so/not, why/why not?
Its this simple for me: attractive, smart, nice people never have to develop personalities, so they dont. Exhibit B: Livinia Nixon. Fat, loudmouthed, plain girls do. And we do. Exhibit C: Jo Brand. We laugh at ourselves because we have to. And I think its a much healthier way to live.

Of all your work, what piece are you most proud of?
My columns on The Footy Show and McLeods Daughters. You choose.

And which one did you receive the most criticism for?
My column about women changing their names when they get married. Interestingly, I also received the most praise for this one.

In a moment of delicious irony, Andrew Bolt called you a hateful columnist last year. Did you crack out the champagne?
Never heard of him. Oh, maybe is he one of the dads down at the school? Was he the yellow Wiggle?

Youre a mum, and your kids have regularly featured in your work. Did you find that motherhood affected your outlook did you see things differently than you might have a year or five before?
Yes, I do. It has really blown the cobwebs out of my head. Let alone destroyed my vagina. Kids give you your childhood back. All the good and all the bad. You are a parent, your own parent, your child and yourself as a child at the same time. If that makes sense. Get me another drink.

What do you feel are the most important issues facing Australian women today?
What to cook for dinner tonight. What shoes to wear. How to reconcile how they want the house to run and how it gets run when their partner does it. Being a parent or not. And if so, the juggle of self and family. Giving and receiving. Eating or feeding. Can we have our cake and eat it too? Will we get fat? If we have our cake and eat it too, will that just make the hole inside us bigger? And how to get one kid to Codys birthday, the other one to Taekwondo and look after the kids from over the road at the same time.

Why do you think we are seeing such a strong throwback to oldfashioned things like the deb ball?
The shrinking of church and traditional family in our lives has some of us, particularly the unimaginative ones, clutching even more tightly to the anachronistic traditions that should have been the first things to be thrown overboard.

It seems to have become somewhat unfashionable for young women to say, Yes, Im a feminist these days. Why do you think this is?
The term, for some, is too loaded. Loaded with what? I dont know. I think its about getting laid. Or something. Labelling is problematic, but necessary at times. There is a train of thought that says we atheists shouldnt call ourselves atheists but rather rationalists, arguing that we apply rational thought to all subjects and religion is no exception. Maybe we should say were equalists, not feminists, so the blokes dont feel like we are out to get them. I love blokes. Some of my best sons are blokes.

What advice would you give to women who want to make a career out of writing?
Do the writing before the washing. Do the writing before the ironing. Do the writing before making the dinner. It is better for the kids to eat Weet-Bix and for you to get the writing done than for the kids to eat some organic vegetarian flan that they will probably hate and for you not to have written.

What is your hope for women of the future?
That fat chicks shit everyone but run the world. And the food courts.

Catherine Deveny was interviewed by Clem Bastow for The Dawn Chorus (thedawnchorus.wordpress.com).