Karen OConnor - Help, Lord! Im Having a Senior Moment: Notes to God on Growing Older

2003 Karen OConnor

Published by Revell

a division of Baker Publishing Group

P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287

www.revellbooks.com

Originally published by Servant Publications in 2002.

Ebook edition created 2015

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-4412-2551-1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Cover design: Paul Higdon, Minneapolis, Minnesota

For my husband,
Charles Flowers, my favorite senior.

Contents

Acknowledgments

The author wishes to thank the following men and women for contributing their ideas and experiencesall of which have been woven into the fabric of this book.

Donna Adee Alice Adler Beverly J. Anderson Barbara Anson Millie Barger Virginia Baty Twila Belk Crane Delbert Bennett Mike S. Bolley Sybil W. Brennecke Barbara Bryden Charlotte Burkholder Jessie Butler LeAnn Campbell Penelope Carlevato Kitty Chappell Pamela Christian Joan Collett Laurie Copeland Rebecca Clark Culpepper Marlene Depler Karla Downing Lindsey Downing Susie Duncan Patricia Evans Eva Marie Everson Olga Flores Charles Flowers Connie Fowler Freda Fullerton Nancy Gibbs Verda Glick Beverly Hamel Judith Harris Esther Herriott Cecile Higgins Bernice Jenkins Margaret Johnson Paulette Johnson Janis Keehn Teresa Bell Kindred Sandi Knode Paul Krieger Carole Lewis Nancy Merical Sherrie Murphree Jeannie Myers June OConnor Yvonne Ortega Richard Perkins Cindy Plewinski Eunice Ratzlaff Kimberly Ripley Karen Robertson Martha Rogers Betty Rosian Jeanne Roth Dayle Shockley Annette Smith Betty Southard Maureen Stirsman Karen Taylor June Varnum Claudia Ward Mildred Wenger Lonnie West Kathleen Dale Wright Connie Bertelsen Young Jeanne Zornes

Senior Moments

by Karen Taylor

This book tells not of youngsters

and the way they spend their days.

Its all about us old folks

and our fuddy-duddy ways.

Sometimes its hard to figure

what life is all about.

My brain is finally working,

now my bodys giving out.

Or perhaps Im right on schedule

for a very special date.

My bodys running right on time,

but my mind is running late.

Well, what does it all matter

in the scheme and theme of things

as long as I find comfort

in the joy that laughter brings?

Ill share these tales with others,

so they might find laughter too.

You can bet your bottom dollar

the tales will all be true.

And when youve finished reading

about folks like you and me,

youll be surprised and pleased to know

youre as normal as can be!

Introduction

My mother-in-law Ada often said, Growing old is not for sissies! My husband and I smiled whenever she said it. Then quickly we reassured her that she was young at heart and thats all that mattered. Easy for us to say. At the time neither of us had crossed the bridge from older-middle age to older-older age. We thought we were doing her a favor by cheering her uphoping to keep her eyes and her mind off the physical limitations that had set in.

That was twenty-some years ago. Today, we have a much better understanding of what Ada was talking about. It takes grit and courage and prayer to face the other side of fifty and sixty and seventy. Some days I find myself calling out to God, Help, Lord. Im having a senior moment! I smile when I say itbecause I like to look at life through a positive lensbut the reality is there. I have plenty of zest for living, but still there are changesthose senior momentswhen the name of someone I know well, or the precise word Im looking for, doesnt come to mind as quickly as it used to. I need more sleep these days and I give myself more time to drive or walk or read or eat. Im not in as much of a hurry as I once wasbecause I cant be!

I hope the notes to God in the following pages (some of my own, and some based on the funny and touching contributions Ive received from other seniorsmen and women) will encourage you, cause you to smile, laugh, maybe even sigh and shed a tear, as you recognize familiar situations, emotions, frustrations and joys that are as true for you as they are for meand countless others.

Whether youre under the pile or standing on top, its my hope and prayer that this book will offer you comfort, sympathy, companionship and plenty of good humor! Allow the Lord to encourage and strengthen you, and to confirm in your heart his deep love for you in all your comings and goings. There is only one who can meet our deepest needsJesus Christ himself. Through all of our moments as seniors, we can count on him to make good his promise never to leave us nor forsake us (Heb 13:5).

Funny Moments

The cheerful heart has a continual feast.

P ROVERBS 15:15

Money Laundering

Dear God:

For twenty years the laundry room has been off-limits to me. Ive been instructedand youre my witnessthat my knowledge of how to wash, dry, fold and iron clothes is so lacking as to disqualify me from even auditing Household Management 101.

Furthermore, my husband has made it clear that he could not only teach the course but run the entire university department on such matters! Youve seen him in action, Lord. This guy is worth his weight in soapsuds! Theres nothing he likes better than the rhythmic pounding of a washing machine whirling socks and shirts into submission. Even the sheets snap to attention when he comes round the bend and through the bedroom door.

In our house, its Charles in Charge of all things pima and percale, rayon and nylon, velvet and velour! Even his dresser and closet spaces are fit for inspection any time of the day or night. A two-finger space separates each shirt on pristine white hangers. Socks are lined up in the drawer from gray to blue to brown to black, and nary an argyle shall dare come between them.

The hamper is never more than half full. And the crease in his pants matches the crease in his brow!

So imagine my shock and his chagrin, when I walked into the laundry room today. There he stood holding a soggy lump of leather in one hand and a mass of wet bills and dripping credit cards in the other. Yep! The man is up to no goodI caught him laundering our money!

BUT I WANT to keep him anyway, Lord! Thank you for giving me a husband I can count on and laugh with.

Rightand Proud of It

Dear God:

Is it time to hire a bookkeeper? A secretary? An aide? After what happened this week I think sothough it did work in my favor. (Smile!) You know Im careful about not mixing my personal funds with the churchs funds. When I do spend my own money for supplies or services, its only right that I get reimbursed, as the other directors and I agreed.

But I wonder what theyd think of my latest stunt. As I was updating my personal check register this morning, I discovered that several weeks ago Id written a check from my own checking account to reimburse myself!

This is one of those moments Id rather forget. Fortunately, I usually do. Saves a lot of embarrassment. Until it happens again ...

Where are my credit cards? my wife asked yesterday, as we were almost ready to walk out the door for church. I was planning to drop her off at the mall after the service so she could pick up a birthday gift for our granddaughter.

Arlette was clearly irritated with her forgetfulness. As she stood at the breakfast counter and rummaged through her purse for the second time, I spotted her cards. Aha! I cleared my throat to get her attention, and then chuckled out loud.