Brian McManus - Philadelphias Best Dive Bars: Drinking and Diving in the City of Brotherly Love

Table of Contents

A book like this couldnt be done without the suggestions of places from friends. It also couldnt be done without their accompaniment on many a long night and slow crawl across the city to unearth these gems. Thanks to all who did either: Alec Meltzer, Dan McQuade, Adamma Ince, Ryan Kattner, Brian and Alison Langner, Michael Persico, Richie Charles, Gabe and Zach Gliwa and anyone else who suggested a place I wouldnt have heard of otherwise or ventured out with me into the dark corners of neighborhoods we thought we knew pretty well, but found we didnt. Thanks also to Michael Alan Goldberg, who took all the pictures for the book and who generally makes work at my day job tolerable due to the quality and volume of hours he puts in. Without him, this book wouldnt have gotten finished. To that point, most of all Id like to thank the esteemed Dr. Doug Osman, whose alcohol intake and easy nature with completely faced strangers left me in quiet awe over and over again during this project. You, sir, are a saint. Saint Arnold, patron saint of beer, to be exact.

Ways Lounge

The laws governing the sale of alcohol in Pennsylvania are a holdover from a time past, written in 1933 just after Prohibition ended. Theyre paternalistic. Theyre puritanical. But mostly, theyre just plain ridiculous.

When I moved to this city from Texas a lifetime ago, I remember walking into a gas station to pick up a six pack of whatever was cheap. I asked the cashier where the beer was and he looked at me like Id just told him I thought bestiality gets a bad rap. The state doesnt allow beer sales in gas stations, he told me. So I went to the grocery store, and found out that the state doesnt allow the sale of beer there either. Where the hell did I just move to, I wondered?

I eventually found out that beer in Philly is sold at some delis, bars with takeout licenses, and beer distributors, which only sell by the case. Thats it. Liquors worse, as its only sold in stores run by the state. As a result, Pennsylvania has fewer liquor stores per person than any other state in the nation. And its going backwardthere are fewer liquor stores in the state today than there were in 2006. The liquor laws in Pennsylvania are so bad, people in Philly frequently drive to nearby New Jersey and Delaware to buy booze, an offense for which, if caught, they could spend up to ninety days in jail for committing. Seriously.

If there is a silver lining to be found in these ass-backward laws, its what theyve done to foster the bar culture here. Simply put, bars in Philly are ubiquitous, and because the state makes it as difficult as possible to buy hooch elsewhere, said bars are often packed. Happy Hour isnt just an idea here, its a lifestyle. In Philadelphia, our time is divided into thirdswork, home, bar. We spend a lot of hours in our booze soaked halls, whether were meeting friends, watching the Phillies, sipping suds in solitude, celebrating or grieving. And because Philly is such a walkable city, we often dont leave our bars until were nice and soused. Theres no wheel to get behind, so sure, Ill have another. Or ten.

The bars contained in this book are the citys most colorful, character-filled dives. But what exactly makes a bar a dive? To me, dive bars are like pornography: hard to define, but you know one when you see it. And, while one persons dive may be another persons upscale establishment, there are a few basic characteristics that define a dive. The smell of stale air. A few hardscrabble regulars. Low lighting. Red light bulbs. Ripped and warn leather booths or barstools. Wood walls. Faux-wood walls. Photos of regulars past and present stapled to those walls. Nicotine-caked ceilings. Surly service. A vague sense someone might do you bodily harm. Cheap, stiff drinks. Jukeboxes oozing music to help mend a broken heart or break it all the more. And, the pice de rsistance, something odd, out of place or downright illegalbe it a dog sitting on a barstool, a baby on the bar, an old man playing tonsil hockey with a tranny in a booth, or a drunk sobbing loudly to no one but himself. In short, the type of shit that would get you kicked outta someplace proper. Places that, if the owner dared raise the prices a nickel, he would hear a dimes worth of grief from his customers. Some of the bars in this book possess all these qualities, while others possess only a few. The rating system will help you navigate which places offer a simple fun night out, and which offer your possible last night on earth. Use it wisely.

Finally, the word dive isnt meant as a pejorative. Some bar owners might be insulted by it being used to describe their place, and for that I offer my sincere apologies. The intention here isnt to offend, but instead to shine a light on what I feel are some of the most unique and storied bars in our fine city, institutions of old, or in the making. I loved meeting some of the longtime owners of these places and saddling up bar side with many of their colorful regulars. I got mighty drunk in some of these establishments, and enjoyed them all very much (the exception being DeLeos Caf, which truly is a shit-hole). Though my liver is happy Im done spending long hours, day in, day out, at these establishments, the rest of me is kinda bummed. Its been as fun as its been physically crippling.

In 2007, Philly finally passed a smoking ban, which many major cities around the country had done years before. Only ours had an exemption: If a bar could show that less than 20 percent of its revenue was derived from food sales, smoking could continue in the bar. Thus, more of the bars in this book are exempt from the smoking ban than arent. When thats the case, I make note of it in the blurb, more often than not with the phrase smoke choked. (Hey, I tried.) For a list of all bars exempted by the smoking ban, simply Google the phrase Philadelphia smoking bars, and a neat map Philadelphia Magazine did will pop up, though some of the places listed are veteran halls you most likely cant get into. Additionally, some of the smoking bars in this book arent on that list, so its not definitive. This book and that list used in tandem should do the trick should you be in the throes of a nic fit and in need of a bar that will accommodate.