Chazz Palminteri - A Bronx Tale: The Original One Man Show

Confirmation 1960 Bronx, NY 1968 Copyright Copyright by Chazz Palminteri, All Rights Reserved All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form without prior written consent of the publisher. Neighborhood Media P.O. Box 622 Bedford, NY 10506 First eBook Edition: May 2013 ISBN: 978-0-9892645-0-1 Reviews for A Bronx Tale The Original One Man Show "'A BRONX TALE' IS A GOOD YARN, A VIVID TRUE STORY." - Stephen Holden New York Times " a raucous, solo tour de force written and performed by Chazz Palminteri (He is) a chameleon What we have here is the theatrical genesis of a terrific movie." - Ray Loynd Los Angeles Times " a touching, strong and honest portrayal of growing up in the Bronx during the turbulent '60s. Palminteri is an extraordinary storyteller - and he knows the territory." - Ed Kaufman The Hollywood Reporter " strong, deeply affecting, well-rendered. Daily Variety "A BRONX TALE is BRILLIANT! STUNNING, SEETHING THEATRE!" - Jerry Tallmer New York Post "Chazz Palminteri's one-man recreation of his childhood is so authentic, and is delivered so lovingly that anyone capable of an ounce of sentiment must be moved." - Joey Levy Los Angeles Reader Table of Contents (Pre show: We hear the music of Dion and the Belmonts. Daily Variety "A BRONX TALE is BRILLIANT! STUNNING, SEETHING THEATRE!" - Jerry Tallmer New York Post "Chazz Palminteri's one-man recreation of his childhood is so authentic, and is delivered so lovingly that anyone capable of an ounce of sentiment must be moved." - Joey Levy Los Angeles Reader Table of Contents (Pre show: We hear the music of Dion and the Belmonts.

Lights come up on a set depicting a street corner in the Bronx, New York: the corner of 187th street and Belmont Avenue. A stoop, a lamppost perhaps a window frame, a doorway, fire escape are all that is needed. The setting is sparse, merely representing the locale. It is in the middle of the night. Unusually quiet and peaceful. The lights fade on the street and the sounds of Dion and the Belmonts drift away to be replaced by the evocative - Bronx theme.) (As the lights drift across the various shapes of the setting, we discover the Narrator (the actor) sitting on an old chair next to the stoop - (Narrator acts out all the actors) NARRATOR to audience It's 3:00 AM In the Bronx, New York.

I'm sitting here on The corner of 187th and Belmont Avenue. I can hear a Million voices in my head and one voice in particular. His Name was Sonny. (Moves to lamppost) NARRATOR (CONT'D) And he stood right here. Right under this lamp post. He was the number one man in the neighborhood.

I can still see him calling me SONNY Hey kid. Come here, kid. See this kid? I love this kid. NARRATOR This was his neighborhood. A Doo Wop group sang right in that alleyway there. Carlo, Freddy, Angelo and a guy named Dion.

They got their name from the street sign. They were called Dion and the Belmonts and they could sing better than anybody I ever heard. I use to listen to them when I was a kid from my fifth floor window. Narrator points to his building NARRATOR This was my stoop. I grew up right over this drugstore right over this drug store here. Well, it was a drug store when I was a kid.

And two doors down was a bookie joint, then the butcher shop, then another two doors down was another bookie joint, then the florist and a couple a more doors down was another bookie joint. And on warm summer nights, all through the neighborhood you would hear the sounds of young Italian men romancing their women "MARIE, GET IN FUCKIN' THE CAR!" My name is Calogero Lorenzo Alfredo Romano Palminteri. My mother's is Rosena Christina Martina Sophia Palminteri. My father is Lorenzo Joquomo Palo Antonio Palminteri. Now, ask yourself one question, are all these names necessary? I can still see my mother now. She used to love to have her girl friends over to the house.

My father was totally different. You see my father drove a city bus 8 hours a day. His bus route was Street. I would see him go back and forth all day. I would watch him from my window. Sometimes I would even ride with him.

He didn't like anybody in the house, especially my mother's girl friends. So he figured out a way to get rid of them. He would walk in the front door, look at all the girls, go into the bedroom, take off his pants and come out with his underwear on: LORENZO Rosena, how 'bout a beer? NARRATOR All the girls would run out of the house. ONE OF THE GIRLS (Rushing out of the house) Oh, Rosena, we'll see you later. NARRATOR And right next to the stoop was the bar. The Chez Joey.

And it was owned by a guy named Ruddy Ice. They called him Ruddy Ice because he was so smooth. It always looked like he was on ice skates as he would skate through the bar and flirt with all the girls. RUDDY (Singing and skating and flirting) "Hey, how ya doin'? How's my girls tonight? Give him a drink. Give her a drink. Give everybody a drink." NARRATOR And Ruddy wore these Tom Jones shirts with the puffy sleeves, slit down to here, and the high, high collar.

If you dropped him off a building, he could fly. And Ruddy was a frustrated singer. But Sonny would never let him sing with the band. So just for spite every time he got a chance to speak he would only sing. CUSTOMER Hey, Ruddy, what's the weather like? RUDDY (Singing and skating) "It's cloudy with a chance of rain!" NARRATOR Then there was Eddie Mush. Now Eddie Mush was the degenerate gambler.

He was also the biggest loser in the whole world. They called him Eddie Mush because everything he touched turned to mush. He used to go to the race track and the teller would give him his tickets already ripped up. There was Frankie Coffee Cake. They called him Frankie Coffee Cake because he had this bad case of acne and his face looked like a Drake's Coffee Cake, he was tough to look at. 5 foot 10, 400 pounds. 5 foot 10, 400 pounds.

As they say, you didn't walk with JoJo, you walked among him. If you stared at JoJo long enough, you would see him get fatter by the hour Legend has it his shadow once killed a dog - And Harry A-Hee- Arrrhh. Harry A-Hee-Arrrhh was my favorite. He lived right over this fire escape here. Every night we would play Black Jack under his window and at 12 o'clock, we would hear the window open up and Harry A-Hee-Arrrhh would stick his head out and we would hear this. HARRY (Making the sound of a man getting ready to spit.) NARRATOR And we hear HARRY (Makes several grumbling sounds, then "aaa-heee-aaahhh!" and then spits.) NARRATOR And this ginda would float down.

It was about this big and about that long and it would float down end over end, and Harry would arc it into the street and and we would all watch it come down and it would splat down on the ground. And we would all run out into the street and yell, "aaa-hee-aahh!" and he hated our guts. (He walks to the lamppost) NARRATOR (CONT'D) (continuing) But, right here - right under this lamppost - stood Sonny. He was the number one man in the neighborhood. Shark skin suit, diamond pinky ring. Sonny had five fingers but he only used three.

There was a guy on his left and a guy on his right and they were his bodyguards. They looked like refrigerators with heads. And Sonny wore these skinny, black, pointy, pointy Italian shoes that I could never understand how he got his feet in them. I think that's why Sonny was so tough, Because if he could take pain like that, nobody could make him talk. He would stand there tipping his hat to all the old ladies going by with their shopping bags and they treated him like a God. (Moving to the stoop) NARRATOR (continuing) And I would sit on my stoop just 10 feet away and watch him. (Moving to the stoop) NARRATOR (continuing) And I would sit on my stoop just 10 feet away and watch him.