Cynthia Willey - It Wasnt Me, Miss

It Wasnt Me, Miss

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my sons, Ian and Stephen

Preface

I spent twenty-eight years teaching science and chemistry, mainly to students in sixth-form colleges. I also spent a short while in two schools. I loved it, and there was never a dull moment. Before teaching I worked for three years; first in a chemistry laboratory and secondly in a biochemistry laboratory in a research facility. However, from a very young age I knew I wanted to teach. So I studied for my teaching diploma, which included working in a college for a term. My first story is taken from this teaching practice. In at the deep end!

This collection of stories is a treasury of my memories of those twenty-eight years. If any of them ring a bell, remember youre not alone. I hope these stories show you that when something goes wrong its not always your fault. Students can do daft things and you cant always predict what mistakes they will make. But itll be all right in the end. Just laugh about it and remember youre doing your best, and youre only human after all.

A Speedy Evacuation

I tell one of the female students, Dont worry, breathe deeply and youll be fine. At least its warm and sunny out here on the grass and not like last week when it was snowing. But Im shivering myself. It hadnt been a difficult experiment to set up, although particularly in terms of health and safety it did require a certain degree of common sense. The trouble is, this is often lacking in many students, despite the fact that they are eighteen years old and have studied chemistry at school for two years already.

Half an hour before, I had been sitting in the staff room having a nice cup of tea, and chatting to the chemistry lecturer at the college where I was completing my teaching practice. The classes were going very well and my confidence was growing. He had asked me if I was ready for this particular practical and I said yes, although I was quite nervous because of the safety issue. We decided he would sit at the back of the classroom just for support.

The practical involved making an organic compound, which required using the method of refluxing. This is a distillation technique using the condensation of vapours and the return of them back to the system. I gave the students a handout with a diagram on it, and detailed instructions of how to put the apparatus together correctly. I emphasised to them that the most important thing to remember about this technique was that the water from the tap must go in at the bottom of the connecting tube and out at the top into the sink. If this is not done and its connected the other way around then fumes, often dangerous ones, will be released into the room. And of course they must remember to turn on the tap.

When they were all ready to start, I went around each pair of students to check that indeed they had connected up all the apparatus correctly. We were all set to go so they turned on the Bunsens and waited for the reaction to start.

It all seemed to be going well and I wondered what on Earth I had been worrying about. Then suddenly I started to cough and I noticed that some of the students were coughing as well. At first I thought they were being silly, but then I saw white fumes coming out of one of the sets of apparatus. The choking fumes began to get thicker and I started to panic. My mind was racing and I could see the newspaper headline: Twelve students, a lecturer and student lecturer rushed to hospital unconscious. That would be the end of my career before it had even started!

I felt a tap on the shoulder and jumped. Come on, said my tutor. Lets get them out of here. Calmly though, dont rush we dont want to panic them. Assemble them on the grass. Good job he was calm. Mind you, he had years of experience behind him and I was just starting out.

Fortunately for us, the chemistry laboratory was at the end of a corridor which led directly out on to the fields, so no harm was done. We learnt afterwards that the smell had permeated around the college, but no-one took much notice as it was assumed it was only the chemists making nasty smells again!

What on Earth had happened? It turned out that one of the pairs had thought that once the condenser was full of water, they could turn the tap off. They thought it would save water if it wasnt running all the time. But they hadnt realised that the condenser would automatically empty of water. Hopefully, its a lesson they wont forget. Since then I have emphasised the importance of running water in these experiments.

An Interesting Experiment

Come on, hurry up, George! Youre late! We arranged to meet fifteen minutes ago. You said youd pick up your bike from the sheds and meet me here at the gate.

All right, dont go on, Peter. I couldnt get here any earlier, all right? My class didnt finish until 10.30.

So why didnt you just say you had a dentist appointment and had to leave early? You usually do that all the time.

Because this time we were doing a practical, and for once I was quite enjoying it. Okay?

George, you look red in the face and a bit odd.

Thanks for that.

Why isnt Bill with you?

Well, hes not in my class is he? Perhaps he bunked off. I dont know where he is. He wasnt at the bike sheds so I thought he was with you.

Actually, George, I thought you had been banned from attending any classes.

I have, all except GCSE science. My teacher said she would allow me to stay in the class. Apparently shes determined Ill pass this GCSE whether I like it or not. I cant argue with that, can I?

I suppose not. Although what youre going to do with just one GCSE I cant imagine. Anyway, what was this practical that was so interesting you couldnt leave?

We were making an organic ester.

A what?

Well, its a bit like making salt. Do you remember the experiment last year when we mixed an acid and a base to make salt?

Not really. But then I hated science.

Well, you add alcohol to a type of organic acid, carboxcarboxylcarboxylic acid, thats it.

Have you swallowed a chemistry book?

Very funny. It was interesting. I think even you might have enjoyed it. We used alcohol in a burette.

Alcohol? What, like vodka or gin?

No, ethanol, dickhead. Now youre going to tell me you cant remember what a burette is.

Yes, youre right. What is it?

Its a long thin measuring tube with a tap at the bottom of it.

Really? I dont remember using one of them.

Thats probably because you bunked off school so often. Anyway, do you want to hear why it was so interesting or not?

Might as well while were waiting for Bill.

We placed acetic acid, colourless vinegar to you, in a flask with an indicator. We ran in the alcohol from the burette, which was clamped above it. When the colour changes an ester has been formed.

I think that alcohols gone to your head.

The lab smelled lovely.

What sort of acid was it, speed?

Dont be stupid.

Heres Bill now. Hi! Youre late!

Blimey, George, you look pissed. I watched you cycling over the field and it definitely looked as if you had had one over the eight. In fact, I saw your whole class come out and they all seemed worse for wear. What on Earth were you doing in your class?