Jen Mann - Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Cantankerous Clients, Micromanaging Minions, and Other Supercilious Scourges
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- Book:Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Cantankerous Clients, Micromanaging Minions, and Other Supercilious Scourges
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If youve ever toiled away in a cubicle or sat through the third meeting your boss scheduled to plan another meeting, then you can relate to this book. This is the third book in Jen Manns New York Times best-selling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint! This is the book youll want to accidentally on purpose leave on the desk of that blowhard in marketing. This is the book youll just happen to drop next the microwave in the break room hoping that Jan in accounting reads it before she reheats last nights smelly leftovers for lunch. This is the book youll mail anonymously to your micromanaging boss with certain passages highlighted.
The Punch List:
Company-wide happy hours. I barely want to work with you. I definitely dont want to have a beer with you.
The Ivy Leaguers. You do know every sentence doesnt have to start with, When I was at Princeton...?
The martyrs. You get sick daysuse one. Stop dragging your sniffling, snorting, coughing, sneezing ass to work and infecting the rest of us. Youre not that important.
Advance Praise for Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat:
Im grateful to all of the people Jen Mann writes about in this bookthe condescending managers, undermining editors, the plastic surgeon who helpfully offered free operations during a job interview, and the boss who fired her with a Post-It Notebecause they made her into the rage-filled writer we all know and love. - Jancee Dunn, author of How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids
I connected with Jen Manns book more deeply than Im comfortable with. It was brilliant and gross and hilarious and heartwarming and then hilarious again. I literally couldnt put it down. For what its worth, the only book before this one that I read in one sitting without a break was Dances with Wolves. Dont judge me. - James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn), author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parents Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
Jen Mann: author's other books
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Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Cantankerous Clients, Micromanaging Minions, and Other Supercilious Scourges
People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Jen Mann
Published by Throat Punch Media, 2017.
Also by Jen Mann
I Just Want to Pee Alone
I Just Want to PEE Alone
I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone
I Just Want to Be Perfect
I Just Want to Hang Out With You
Just a Few People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Just a Few People I Want to Punch in the Throat (Vol #4)
My Lame Life
My Lame Life: Queen of the Misfits
People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Just a FEW People I Want to Punch in the Throat (Vol #1)
Just a FEW People I Want to Punch in the Throat (Vol #2)
Just a FEW People I Want to Punch in the Throat (Vol #3)
Traveling with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Barefoot Passengers, Armrest Hoggers, and Other Traveling Troublemakers
Just a FEW People I Want to Punch in the Throat (Vol #5)
Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Cantankerous Clients, Micromanaging Minions, and Other Supercilious Scourges
Standalone
How I F*cking Did It!
Will Work for Apples
Just a Few People I Want to Punch in the Throat Vol. 1-6
C opyright 2017 by Jen Mann
All rights reserved .
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review .
This book is dedicated to everyone
toiling in cubicle farms everywhere .
This book is also dedicated to Randall .
I might not agree with how you motivated me ,
but you sure motivated me .
Also by Jen Mann
My Lame Life: Queen of the Misfits
People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Yuletide Yahoos, Ho-Ho-Humblebraggers, and Other Seasonal Scourges
But Did You Die ?
I Just Want to Be Perfect
I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone
I Just Want to Be Alone
I Just Want to Pee Alone
Just a Few People I Want to Punch in the Throat (Vols. - )
A ll of the names and identifying characteristics of the people who appear in this book have been changed to protect the good, the bad, and the ugly. So if you think you can see yourself in these pages, please be assured that you are most certainly wrong. These are my stories and this is how I remember them .
McJob: (noun) A low-paying job that requires little skill and provides little opportunity for advancement .
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
The micromanagers who aren't even my managers. Stop it. You're not the boss of me. Literally .
The know-it-alls. I get it. You're very smart. You have all the answers. Do you have the answer to this question: Why are you so annoying ?
Mandatory lunch meetings. The only thing worse is a five a.m. conference call. Whoever schedules these are dicks. We took a vote. We all hate you .
The person who brings tuna to the mandatory lunch meeting. Thanks for making the conference room smell like dirty vagina .
Meetings to plan a meeting to plan a meeting. Also known as the circle jerk of the business world .
The buzzwords. Deep dive, circle up, corporate synergy, disrupt, pivot, thought leadership. It's all meaningless word salad. Put a pin in these words already .
The busiest people ever. I'm sorry, did I ask what you were working on? Oh, that's right, I DON'T CARE !
That one guy who asks a question when the meeting is wrapping up. WTF, guy?! We were almost done and you ruined it with your dumb fucking question that you probably already knew the answer to, but you just like to hear the sound of your own voice .
The yukkers. I see you following the boss around, yukking it up over every single one of his jokes. He's not even funny. Also, there's some shit on your nose .
The reply-all people. Go kill yourself .
That guy who trashes the break room. Your mom doesn't work here. Clean up after yourself, you pig .
Whoever jammed the printer and didn't fix it. I have a quarterly update I'd like to jam up your ass .
The coasters. How do you do it? You do nothing but the boss loves you. I hate you, but I also kind of bow down, because that's impressive .
The mansplainers. Here's what you fellas need to understand: thanks for taking what I said and regurgitating it back to me like I'm a small, dimwitted child. Your help was incalculable .
Company-wide happy hours. I barely want to work with you. I definitely don't want to have a beer with you .
The Ivy Leaguers. You do know every sentence doesn't have to start with, When I was at Princeton ?
The martyrs. You get sick daysuse one. Stop dragging your sniffling, snorting, coughing, sneezing ass to work and infecting the rest of us. You're not that important .
The commute. I'm exhausted and stressed out before I even get to the cubicle farm .
Loud talkers. Oh my God, shut up! No one wants to hear your conversation with your doctor about the weird thing on your foot .
People who sit on my desk. Ew. Don't put your pooper on my planner .
My paycheck. Are you fucking kidding me ?
Clients. They won't take your advice, but blame you for their shitty results .
Wearing pants. I do my best work in pajamas .
J en: Me. Unless you know me from pre-1990, in which case I'm Jenni. Notice, it's not Jennifer. My parents didn't name me Jennifer. That would have been too trendy. They wanted to be original when naming me the most popular name of the decade. So they went wild and put their own flavor on a classic by putting an i on the end, thereby killing all possibility of me becoming a heart surgeon. Think about it, who would you trust more to do your bypass: Dr. Mandi or Dr. Amanda? When you have a name that ends in an adorable i that can only be written with a heart for a dot, it guarantees you'll end up on either the pole or the keyboard. Luckily, I chose the keyboard. I'm sarcastic, grumpy, and sweary. You've been warned .
The Hubs: I'm married to Ebeneezer, but I usually call him the Hubs. You can call him the Hubs too. Everyone does. He's used to it. He's Chinese and I'm Caucasian, sometimes that's helpful to know. He's a cheap bastard who can be a tad antisocial and a bit of a know-it-all, but he treats me like gold, so he's my lobster. The foundation of our marriage is built on relentless teasing of one another, constant griping, and the knowledge that no one else could stand us, so we'd better make this work. Oh yeah, I forgot about love. I meant to say love is the foundation of our marriagethe love of bickering .
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