David Nadelberg - My Mortified Life: A Guided Journal to Gauge How Much Youve Changed Since Childhood

Text copyright 2017 David Nadelberg. Design and concept copyright 2017 Ulysses Press and its licensors. All rights reserved. Any unauthorized duplication in whole or in part or dissemination of this edition by any means (including but not limited to photocopying, electronic devices, digital versions, and the Internet) will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Published in the United States by Ulysses Press P.O. Box 3440 Berkeley, CA 94703 www.ulyssespress.com ISBN: 978-1-61243-731-6 Acquisitions editor: Keith Riegert Managing editor: Claire Chun Editor: Alice Riegert Proofreader: Shayna Keyles Design, layout, and illustrations: Katie Tonkovich Cover photos: printed with permission from Julia Wright, Sakena Patterson, Laurent Martini, and Glenda Graves Interior photography from Shutterstock.com: beer bottle immfocusstudio NOTE TO READERS: This book is independently authored and published and no sponsorship or endorsement of this book by, and no affiliation with, any celebrities, televisions shows, movies, characters or trademarked products mentioned or pictured within is claimed or suggested.

All celebrities, television shows, movies, characters or trademarked products that appear in illustrations and elsewhere in this book belong to their respective owners and are used here for informational purposes only. The authors and publishers encourage readers to patronize the quality shows, movies and other products mentioned and pictured in this book. For Carolyn, whose love of diaries was the first of many reasons we loved her. My childhood self dedicates the following journal to My adult self dedicates the following journal to Table of Contents Table of Contents

Why We Made This Journal How much have you changed since childhood? Are you still the same introvert? Extrovert? Go-getter? Bed-wetter? Warrior? Wimp? Nightmare? Neat freak? For over fifteen years, weve been asking questions like this in Mortifiedan international storytelling project (on stage, page, screen, radio, internet) that celebrates the angst and awkwardness of growing up. With this book, our debut diary, were tackling the relationship between past and present, head-on. Behold, a guided journal for your two selves: your awkward inner child and your (equally awkward) inner adult.

Part journal, part time machine, this is a diary for people who never kept one as kids, and also for people whove been addicted to them their whole lives. Our goal? To create a fun tool for self-reflection. How to Use this Journal Answer a question about your childhood on pages marked THEN. Choose any age (0-18) to write about. We leave that up to you. Answer the same question about your adulthood on pages marked NOW.

Rate how much you believe youve changed using the Change-O-Meter found at the bottom of each entry. Are you the same? Are you different? The results may surprise (or mortify) you. At the end of the book, average all your ratings to see just how much youve actually changed over the years. Is this a totally scientific experiment? Yes, absolutely. 100 percent. There is no disputing it.

Score-tified! Using the scale below, predict what score youll average by the end of this book. When you complete the journal, check back and see how you fared. Are you a creature of habit? Proof that good things never changelike Betty White? Or are you an agent of change? Proof that transformation is awesomelike David Bowie? Tips for Getting the Most from This Journal Resist judgments. This is an activity to encourage self-reflection, not superiority or shame. Your degree of change is neither good nor bad. Change does not inherently make someone more evolved.

Likewise, consistency does not make someone more authentic. Look past the surface. Push yourself to discover how much each Then/Now answer actually has in common. Likewise, push yourself to see how much each answer differs. Pick an age. When writing about your past, we leave it up to you to choose which part of childhood (grade school, early teens, late teens) to journal about.

Pick the age that resonates most for you. Interpret each prompt however you want. Our goal is to inspire you to reflect on your past and present by exploring them side by side. We included a bunch of optional follow-up questions to stimulate your brain. Theyre merely food for thought, as theres not room to answer all. Share with your BFF.

Do this with friends and compare your final results.

THEN MY DUMB HEART Whats the dumbest romantic blunder you ever committedor someone committed while pursuing you? Why was it so dumb? What was the outcome? Did other people hear about it? How did you feel about it? What did you learn from it? NOW MY DUMB HEART Whats the dumbest romantic blunder you committed this yearor someone committed while pursuing you? Why was it so dumb? What was the outcome? Did other people hear about it? How did you feel about it? What did you learn from it? THEN CRUSHING IT Who was your first BIG crush growing up? Describe their personality, style, and looks. Why were you attracted to them? Did they know your name? Did you ever do anything about it? Why? Howd it go? NOW CRUSHING IT Who is your biggest crush today? And yes, celebrities count too! Describe their personality, style, and looks. Why are you attracted to them? Do they know your name? Did you make a move? Why? Howd it go?