Sandra Lee Stuart - Election 2016: Democracy In Disarray: A campaign bloated with bombastry, bigotry, and blatant lies

After Watergate, the great minds in Washington felt it best to set up a campaign-finance watchdog. Unfortunately McGruff the Crime Dog was busy staking out bleachers behind a middle-school gymnasium, and so the Federal Election Commission was born. The FEC is charged with enforcing disclosure of campaign-finance information, as well as limits and prohibitions on contributions, and to overseeing public funding of presidential elections.

The commissions work didnt get any easier with the Supreme Court Citizens United decision that deemed corporations equal to breathing humans when it came to throwing money at candidates. The distinction should have been simple. If you are trying to ascertain if you are dealing with a corporation or a human being, there is a surefire test you can conduct. Show the party in question the YouTube video titled, The Sneezing Baby Panda. If there are no signs of human emotion, such as joy or mirth, and only concern with how to monetize it, you are either dealing with a corporation or Donald Trump.

Now the understaffed FEC had to contend with the possibility of foreign money making its way into presidential elections by the back door of contributing through American-controlled companies. When Obama brought that up during his 2010 State of the Union address, conservative Supreme Court Justice Samuel A. Alito was caught on camera mouthing not true.

Move forward to 2016, and examples had been uncovered. A Canadian-owned subsidiary lavished $1 million on Mitt Romney. A company owned by two Chinese nationals, but incorporated in California, funneled $1.3 million to a Jeb Bush Super PAC. And there is the more circuitous route of trade associations with non-American contributors and members giving money to candidates who are felt will further their cause.

The FEC didnt even act on the Trump campaigns soliciting money from lawmakers in England and Australia, a blatant violation. The FEC has been called toothless for good reason. What do you expect from an agency that is headed by three Republicans and three Democrats? One Republican even tried to stop staff from Googling anything without permission. This undoubtedly led to some awkward exchanges. Mr. Commissioner, we can imagine a poor staffer asking, may I please Google, home remedy + hemorrhoids? Talk about a pain in the ass.

No wonder the 375 full-time FEC employees have been characterized as demoralized.

But monitoring contributions is only one of the commissions functions. It receives all the many Form 2s, the official statement of candidacy, from people filing to run. And what do you have to do to file? Not much. Fill in your name, address and party affiliation. Which may be why the FEC received thousands of Form 2s for the 2016 election. Among them Deez Nutts and his running mate Limberbutt McCubbins, D-Ky., whose slogan was Meow is the Time. Satan, a Republican. God, a Republican. Emperor Palpatine of the Concerned Citizens Party of Connecticut with an address in American Samoa. Disco Daddy, no party affiliation. Independent Nothing Wrong Hitler-did. Bros Before Hoes. Have Sex With Me. The Muslim Dictator Trump. And what list would be complete without Anakin Skywalker and Mickey Mouse?

Up to this point, as you might guess, all is free. Download the form and youre in the running for the most powerful position in the world despite what Vladimir Putin would have you believe. Form 1 is more serious. You have to name a committee, treasurer, where youre banking, stuff that 15-year-old Deez Nutts couldnt provide. Also, Deez probably didnt have $5,000 in campaign contributions needed to move on.

The FEC heavy lifting is from this point on with tons of forms and disclosures. How much money did you raise, from whom, what did you spend? And they are all public record, making journalists happier than a pharmaceutical lobbyist on valium.

Take Donald Trumps June 2016 filing. Trump declared loud and often during the primary season that he was self-financing his campaign. But it turned out the $47 million he gave to his committee were actually loans. Thats like buying your parents dinner, but putting the bill on your dads emergencies only credit card See how generous I am, Papa? Just DO NOT read your statement too closely next month. After Trump was criticized for the fudging, the FEC filing showed he had forgiven the loans. In the month of June, Trump managed to raise $27 million. Still, he only had $20 million in the bank, while Hillary Clintons campaign showed $44 million. Another fun fact? Trump, who didnt seem to believe in having much of a staff, spent $71 million through June. Despite forking over this small fortune, a large number of Trump staffers quit after reportedly not being paid. One former adviser told The Washington Post, They use and abuse people. The policy office fell apart in August when the promised checks werent delivered. Meanwhile, Clinton spent $230 million on staff.

If you want to slog through the different filings, you will be treated to other tidbits like Trumps agreement with the RNC. It looks as if Great and Mighty Dealmaker got the short end of that arrangement that set up two fundraising joint committees. Combined they raised $32 million. How much was sent Trumps way? A relatively small $2.2 million. That was from one committee. More may have been on its way from the other. And he only managed to get 14 private donors to chip in $450,000.

On the Hillary side of the ledger, between what she raised and what Super PACs anted up, the total came to $386 million, $301 million spent, leaving $85 mil.

Madame Secretary was not free of contribution controversy. It seems logical and right that a business getting government contracts should not be allowed to contribute to a political campaign. Thats a worse conflict of interest than the American Diabetes Association being overseen by Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Apparently, the memo never reached the staff of a pro-Hillary Super PAC. A Massachusetts construction company had been awarded almost $170 million in government contracts since fiscal year 2008. And yet, it sent money to Priorities USA Action. The Center for Public Integrity uncovered this no-no, and the Super PAC returned $200,000.

The FEC also breaks down the top employers and professions of donors. Heres Hillarys list:

Donalds

In case youre wondering about Twenty One Twelve, its a digital-marketing firm specializing in high-end products and companies. And its an English company. You have to suppose the employees doing the donating were American. Otherwise, the FEC goofed.

The biggest Hillary PAC donors were Haim and Cheryl Saban ($10.1 million). Saban has done lots of things to amass his $3 billion, including distributing that TV classic, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, teenage fighters of evil clad in Spandex.

Trump got the most money from Robert Mercer and his family ($3.8 million). Mercer is a hedge-fund guy and computer scientist. This is a fellow whose household staff sued him because he would shortchange their pay if they left partially filled shampoo bottles. And forget about overtime. Mercer had more trouble making up his mind during this campaign than Chris Christie at a Golden Corral Buffet None of these options are good, but what the hell. Ill take all of them. First, he threw money at Ted Cruz. Then for good measure, he sent some to Carly Fiorina. When no one else was standing, Trump was his boy.

The FEC will keep on slogging through its thankless job until the next round of elections. It would be nice if most of the campaign wrongdoings it uncovers were penalized before people hit the polling booths.