Gail Bowen - The Nesting Dolls

Book 12 in the Joanne Kilbourn series, 2010

There is not much stillness in my husbands life. He is a trial lawyer and a paraplegic two factors that dont contribute to longevity. So, that Saturday afternoon in December, when I walked into the family room and found Zack and our mastiff, Pantera, gazing at the ten-foot Nova Scotia fir wed chosen the day before, I felt a frisson of joy. Outside, the wind howled, the trees swayed and creaked, and the sky was dark with the threat of snow; inside, a fire burned low in the grate, the air was pungent with the sharpness of evergreen, and the man I loved was at peace with his dog beside him. It was over three weeks until Christmas, but our fourteen-year-old daughter, Taylor, had jump-started the season by hanging her collection of crystal stars in the windows, where they sparkled, evoking memories of other Christmases, other lives. I placed my hands on Zacks shoulders and rested my chin on his head. The house and the hall were lit with happiness, I said. And lords and ladies were luminous with joy.

Zack covered my hands with his. Now that is beautiful, he said.

Its from Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. I bought a copy last year and tucked it in with the Christmas decorations, thinking we could read it to the granddaughters when theyre older.

Were older, Zack said. We could read it now.

Youd like it. A green knight with a green beard rides his green horse into King Arthurs court at Christmas. The green knight takes out his axe and offers it to whichever of Arthurs knights will cut off his head.

Zack turned his chair around to face me. The green knight wants somebody to cut off his head?

Theres a catch. Whoever wields the axe must agree to be struck in return.

By the guy whose head he just lopped off?

Thats the challenge.

Zack chortled. Blood in, blood out my kind of story.

In that case, when we get back here after the concert, well warm up some soup, build a fire, and start reading.

Zack held out his arms. Who has more fun than us?

Nobody, I said. Nobody has more fun than us.

Its not easy for a man in a wheelchair and an able-bodied woman to embrace, but Zack and I had had practice. When my husband ran his hand up my leg, he groaned with pleasure. Youre wearing the black slip, he said. God, I love this slip.

Im wearing it because we have a party to go to. Tis the season, remember?

The Wainbergs party, then the choir thing, he said.

Speaking of the choir thing, I said, I have something for you. I handed him a manila envelope. Zack opened it and grinned. Hey, thats the photo that was in the paper.

It is indeed, I said. And having a copy made and enlarged cost more than it should have.

Zack put on his glasses and assessed the photo. Money well spent, he said, and he was right.

Taylors high school, Luther College, had been rehearsing its yearly Christmas choral concert, and she and her two best friends were in the junior handbell choir. The local papers photographer had caught them in mid-ring. It was a seasonal photograph on a slow news day, and the layout person had given the picture pride of place on the front page.

In their Luther sweatshirts, blue jeans, and spotless white cotton gloves, the girls were an appealing trio. Gracie Falconer, athletic, big-boned, red-haired and ruddily freckled, was beaming, transported, as she always was, by the sheer joy of action. Isobel Wainbergs springy black curls had escaped the silver headband with which she had tried to tame them, and her fine features were drawn in concentration. The standards Isobel set herself were high; she would not easily forgive herself a mistake in performance. Taylors expression was rapturous. She was a girl who lived life more deeply than most her pleasures were more keenly experienced; her pains, sharper-edged. The photographer had captured Taylor at a moment when her private wellspring of joy overflowed, and it was a lovely sight.

As Zacks eyes remained fixed on the photo, I marvelled at how completely he had metamorphosed into a family man in the two years we had been together. He was forty-eight when we met, and hed spent a lifetime travelling fast and light. There were two passions in his life: the law, and his legal partners, whom hed loved since they gravitated to one another midway through their first year of law school and committed themselves to share what they were certain would be a golden destiny. There had been many women in Zacks life, but few had been invited to stick around for breakfast.

When we met, I was a widow with three grown children: Mieka, who was newly divorced, the mother of two young daughters, and the owner-operator of UpSlideDown, a caf/ play centre for young families; Peter, who had just graduated from the School of Veterinary Medicine; and Angus, who was at the College of Law in Saskatoon. Taylor was the only one of my children still at home. When her mother, the artist Sally Love, who had been my friend since childhood, died suddenly, Taylor was four. There was no one to take Sallys daughter, so I adopted her. It was one of the best decisions Id ever made.

I was content with my life and then Zack came along. As our relationship grew serious, everyone who cared for us felt compelled to wave a red flag. We ignored them. Six months to the day after we met, Zack and I stood at the altar of St. Pauls Cathedral and exchanged vows. When Id leaned down to kiss my new husband, hed whispered, This is forever, Ms. Shreve. We made a promise, and a deals a deal. Since that grey New Years morning, wed never looked back. Ours was not an easy marriage, but it was a good one.

As he propped the photo on the mantel, Zacks voice was wistful. Think were looking at the next generation of partners at Falconer Shreve and Wainberg?

Lets see, I said. Gracie is planning to be a professional basketball player, so shes out, and we both know that Taylor wants to make art the way her mother did.

Zack frowned. Youre Taylors mother, Joanne. Blood ties are significant, especially when the birth mother is someone as extraordinary as Sally Love, but Taylors your daughter, our daughter, and we have the papers to prove it.

Spoken like a lawyer, I said.

Spoken like a lawyer who knows that in these cases smart people make themselves bulletproof, and we are bulletproof.

I felt my nerves twang. For a man whod spent forty-three years in a wheelchair because hed been in the wrong place at the wrong time, Zack was remarkably sanguine about the vagaries of fate. I needed to return to safe ground. I took the photo from the mantel. Isobels your best hope. Shes smart and focused -

And way, way, way too hard on herself, Zack finished. Izzys just like her mother who, incidentally, is driving me crazy these days.

Whats the matter?

Zack extended his hands, palms up in a gesture of exasperation. Beats me. Delia never and I mean never - makes mistakes, but lately shes made some doozies forgetting meetings, not returning phone calls, and last week she almost missed a critical filing deadline. Luckily, the associate shes working with picked up on it, but it was a close call, so I went to Dees office and asked her what the hell was going on.

Did she have an explanation?

Nope. She told me to back off and said that it wouldnt happen again.

I examined the jumbo box of Christmas-tree balls Zack had bought that morning to replace the ones Pantera had eaten the year before. They were all red Zacks favourite colour. Do you think Delia and Noah could be having problems? I said.