Frazer Lee - The Lamplighters

Special thanks to Joseph Alberti for telling me about the real lamplighters. And to the real Marla Newborn, my thanks for allowing me to use and abuse your name. Thanks to Max Kinnings for introducing me to the British Libraryand to the latter, where much of this volume was drafted, for its comfy chairs, quiet desks, and mountains of inspiration. Thanks to Jason Conway for conversations on the cobblestones, heres to many more. Cheers to Joseph DLacey (AKA The Adverb Killer) for friendship beyond the call of dutifully (oops). Heartfelt thanks to family and friends. And much gratitude and respect to Don DAuria and all at Samhain Publishing.

Its the greatest job in the world.

Vera smiled as she said the words.

All I have to do is turn on the damn lights, water the plants; a few chores

Static crackled in her earthe phone line was lousy tonight.

Are you still there?

Yes, came the reply, but I can hardly hear you. There's a weird kind of echo.

Its Jessies uplink, Vera chuckled. Were not really allowed to call anyone from the island

Sorry how calling me?

Christ, the line was getting choppy. Vera pressed the cordless handset closer to her ear, then checked herself.

As if thatll make any difference, she said. Probably talking to herself now.

The crackling grew louder. She could still hear her friends voice, buried beneath layers of digital cacophony. A faint echo smothered by an avalanche of noise.

There was something else in the mix too, an ominous growling hum like the electricity pylons near her home. Berlin, so far away now. Even as she thought it, the hum grew, drowning out what little was left of her friends staccato tones.

And with a click, silence.

Scheie, she cursed, stabbing the redial button. The phone was completely dead. Hacking an outside line was a fine art, she appreciated that, but Jessie clearly needed some new software. And shed be giving that little bag of smoke back too.

First things first. Vera put the handset in its cradle and headed for the kitchen. She walked over to the huge range in the centre of the room and ignited all four of the gas taps. Then, crouching on her haunches, she turned the oven on full blast. The expensive smoked glass oven door afforded her a look at her own reflection. Only a month on Meditrine Island and already she looked five years younger. Amazing. Gone were the dark gray shadows around her eyeseven her signature brittle dry hair had a new luster. Berlin could take care of itself, thanks very much. The island really was like a fountain of youth, she thought as she rose and crossed to the patio door.

Unclipping the latch, Vera had to use two hands to slide the glass behemoth open. Whoever owned this house had a serious heavy glass fetish. Stepping out into the night, her senses were flooded. The islands fresh air was like no other, an intoxicating blend of jasmine and ocean spray. When she went back to the city, shed have to remember to bottle and sell it.

Click.

Her quiet moment was suddenly blasted with fifteen hundred watts of raw security lighting as she stepped in front of the infrared sensors. She cursed the light for blinding her as she picked up the watering can, blinking away the white-hot glare. The light had brought the mosquitoes a-calling too. They whizzed around her as she dashed back into the kitchen.

Vera filled the watering can with cool, clear water at the bath-sized sink. This was the least tedious of her tasksthe plants were going to drink their fill tonight. Amidst such fabulous wealth, such meticulous order, it felt good that a mere backpacker could decide the fate of items so precious to their millionaire owners.

Millionaires? Billionaires, more likely.

She remembered Jessies sardonic voice from the first time theyd hung out together, gossiping about who owned these mansions, this island. But Vera didnt really care who the owners were. That they were paying her handsomely to do a few chores was all she cared about. And the most strenuous chore was watering the plants. Easy money. The job's a doozy, Jessie had giggled. Doozy Jessie had been working on the island longer than Vera and seemed to be going a little stir crazy

As the water rose closer to the brim of the watering can, the security lights clicked off suddenly. Like everything else on the island they ran to a tight schedule, thought Vera. As she did so, milliseconds before the light bulbs faded, Vera saw something outside.

A figure.

She blinked twice, slow and firm. The ghost imprint of the blinding bulbs still there, forming crescent-shaped black holes in her minds eye. Was there someone out there?

Vera blinked again, then swore furiously as liquid spilled onto her feet. Soaked, she closed the faucet and let the watering can rest in the sink unit. Shouldnt have smoked that joint before coming up to the house, she thought, sounding for all the world like her mother. Scatterbrain, she used to call Vera whenever she lost the power to function normally, everyday tasks becoming impossibly hilarious missions. She still wondered if her mother had known her daughter was stoned, or if she simply believed her child was missing a neuron or two million.

The old clumsiness was really kicking in now, as she left little pools of water on the tiled floor on her way to the patio. Putting the can down (yet more spills), she grabbed the door handle and pulled with all her might.

Swoosh.

The glass giant slid open easier this time. Vera bent down to pick up the canthen the smell hit her.

Something had invaded the envelope of jasmine and surf, corrupting the very night air with its presence. A hospital smell, harsh and synthetic, like the way her dentist smelled. Shed hated the dentist since she was a kid. Had he followed her here, to paradise, tracking her down after all these years to do all that work she had chickened out of? To tut and frown disapprovingly through his paper mask, noting her cannabis-stained enamel and ugly overbite?

She leaned out into the night air, her nostrils searching for the source of the stifling smell. It was mixed with something else now, like ripe leather.

Click.

He was standing right next to her, impossibly close. Veras heart blasted into her mouth, choking her scream. The source of the smell regarded her idly, his black eyes like camera lenses. Cold. Unforgiving.

Before she could react, Vera heard a swooshing sound. The smell of rubber gloves perversely filled her nostrils, pushing all the way back into her throat as if someone really had jammed two fingers up her nose. The intruders dark form was a monolith, burned into her eyes by the security lights.

Click.

Swoosh.

The bulbs faded once more. Veras senses imploded as the sliding door crushed her skull against the alloy doorframe.

Crunch.

Swoosh, as the door slid back again.

Crunch.

Veras body jerked uselessly then fell still; her brains spattered across the cool, thick glass.

Its the greatest job in the world.

Marla Neuborn tried to look interested, although in truth all she wanted to do was read her book. Thats why shed come to the park, a bit of piece and quiet.

Looking after these two. Arent they just adorable?

The girl whod sat down right next to her on the bench clearly wasnt going to let up. She wanted a proper conversation, goddammit. Marla couldnt remember the last time shed had one of those.

Do you like kids?

Marla closed her battered paperback with an audible sigh and looked up at the girl next to her. Pretty face, blonde hairMarla suddenly felt a hundred times scruffier. Great, her mood had worsened. The girl sounded Swedish and just a little bit vacuous. If nothing else, at least Marla had the intellectual high ground.