Tibballs - The Mammoth Book of Weird News (Mammoth Books)

Geoff Tibballs is the author of the bestselling Mammoth Book of Jokes and The Mammoth Book of Dirty Jokes as well as many other books including Business Blunders and Legal Blunders . A former journalist and press officer, he is now a full-time writer who lists his hobbies as sport, eating, drinking and avoiding housework. He lives in Nottingham, England, with his wife and daughters.

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Constable & Robinson Ltd
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162 Fulham Palace Road
London W6 9ER
www.constablerobinson.com

First published in the UK by Robinson, an imprint of Constable & Robinson, 2011

Copyright Geoff Tibballs 2011

The right of Geoff Tibballs to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

A copy of the British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data is available from the British Library

UK ISBN 978-1-84529-934-7
eISBN 978-1-84901-959-0

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

First published in the United States in 2011 by Running Press Book Publishers
All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International Copyright Conventions

This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher.

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Digit on the right indicates the number of this printing

US Library of Congress Control Number: 2010941554

US ISBN 978-0-76243-728-3

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Printed and bound in the UK

W HEN WE WATCH the television news or read the daily papers, often its not the major stories of the day that have the greatest impact. We all know the world is awash with corruption, war and economic strife and we dont necessarily want to be reminded about it 24/7, which is why media outlets, in an attempt to lighten the mood, scour the world in search of weird news stories. You know the sort of thing: Taiwanese Man Marries Barbie Doll, Woman Swallowed By Fridge, Moose Steals Bicycle or Driver Blames Crash On Pterodactyl. These quirky news items (a disproportionately high number of which, incidentally, seem to occur in Romania) are guaranteed to send us off to work or bed with a smile on our faces and the thought that maybe the world isnt such a terrible place after all. They restore our faith in the absurdity of the human race. How else can you explain why a drink-driving suspect would eat his own underwear to beat a breath test or why a 33-year-old woman would pose as her 15-year-old daughter to enrol at high school because she had always wanted to be a cheerleader? These are just two of the hundreds of true stories that I have unearthed from the four corners of the globe, covering topics such as crime, sex, health, animals, sport, relationships, travel, work and deaths. So if you have ever doubted the saying that truth is stranger than fiction, read on.

Geoff Tibballs

MAN CAUGHT WITH PIGEONS DOWN PANTS

A 23-year-old Australian man stopped by customs officials at Melbourne airport in 2009 was found to have a live pigeon stuffed down each leg of his pants. The man was searched after disembarking from a ten-hour flight from Dubai. First, officials discovered two bird eggs hidden in a vitamin container before a further search revealed that the man was wearing tights under his pants and inside each leg was a live pigeon wrapped in a padded envelope. An undeclared aubergine was also found in his luggage. A customs spokesman said: We have no idea of his motives.

CAMEL HUMPS FIRE HYDRANT

A sex-starved male camel at a zoo in Wichita, Kansas, alarmed keepers by taking a fancy to a fire hydrant in his enclosure. When Tommys mate died in 1993, he turned his affections to the hydrant, vigorously rubbing himself against it for hours on end until officials at Sedgwick County Zoo eventually decided to remove it. His embarrassed keeper, Julie Fritz, said of Tommys misplaced passion: If its during public hours, I just go hide somewhere. What can I say? The camel doesnt have a life.

GIRAFFE MASTERMINDS CIRCUS BREAKOUT

A giraffe was the brains behind a mass escape of animals from a travelling Dutch circus in 2008. After the giraffe kicked a hole in their cage, 15 camels, two zebras and an unspecified number of llamas and potbellied pigs made a dramatic dawn break for freedom. They were later found wandering around an Amsterdam suburb before being rounded up by police and circus workers.

GOAT ACCUSED OF ARMED ROBBERY

Police in Nigeria arrested a goat on suspicion of armed robbery in 2009. Vigilantes seized the black and white goat, claiming that it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into an animal in order to escape after trying to steal a car. A spokesman for police in the eastern state of Kwara confirmed: The goat is in our custody. Witnesses saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. One escaped while the other turned into a goat.

WOMAN CHASED HOME BY CRAZED SKUNK

A woman in Salem, Massachusetts, was chased for more than 15 minutes by a rabid skunk in 1997. Carmen LaBrecque, 51, encountered the skunk on her way home and it proceeded to harass her all the way back to her property, constantly snapping at her heels. Once there, she was unable to slow down sufficiently to open her front door and reach safety, so instead she had to run around her yard, making sure to stay at least a foot ahead of her demonic pursuer. On one lap, she was handed a cell phone by her elderly mother from inside the house and managed to call the police. Her trauma finally ended when, alerted by the police, an animal control officer arrived on the scene and shot the skunk.