Ellison - Embed with games : a year on the couch with game developers

EMBEDWITH

GAMES

FirstpublishedinGreatBritainin2015byPolygonBooks,

animprintofBirlinnLtd.

WestNewingtonHouse

10NewingtonRoad

EdinburghEH91QS

www.polygonbooks.co.uk

CopyrightCaraEllison2015

ForewordCopyrightKieronGillen2015

ThemoralrightofCaraEllisontobeidentifiedastheauthorofthisworkhasbeenassertedbyherinaccordancewith theCopyright,DesignsandPatentsAct,1988.

Allrightsreserved.

Theauthorhasmadeeveryefforttoclearallcopyrightpermissions,butifamendmentsarerequired,thepublisherwill bepleasedtomakeanynecessaryarrangementsforareprintedition.

ACIPcataloguereferenceforthisbookisavailablefromtheBritishLibrary.

ISBN9781846973444

eISBN9780857908896

TypesetbyFreightinBrownandPoynter

PrintedinSpainbyGraphyCems

Contents

Foreword

KieronGillen

ImetCarathreetimesintheyearshewastravelling.

ThefirsttimewasinNewYork.Shewasthere,workingonthis.Idbeentheremeeting mycorporatepaymastersatMarvel,andwaswaitingforacartotheairportandhadtime tograbadrinkbeforehand.Carawaslate,soshejoinedmeinthecarforthehourdriveto theairport.Wespentthejourneygigglingliketeenagers,tellingawfulstoriesaboutawful people.ShemainlysaidhowmuchshelikedTheWeekndsOftenbecausehelikestodo it,often.AsIboardedthetrainandshegotatrainbackintoNewYork,Ifeltassuredshe wasfineandtheadventuresweregoodforher.

ThesecondtimewasatNineWorldsconvention,atoneoftheasteroidhotelsorbiting Heathrow. You get that close to an airport, and time and space warps. You are not in Britain any more. You are in a Ballardian land, a liminal space. Cara looked wan. I draggedhertotheexpensivehotelrestaurantandfedhersteak,thenstoletheredwineto taketothefiresideconversationpanelweweremeanttobedoing.Wewerebothtenseand tired,rowedalittle,andIleftworriedabouther.

Thethirdtimewasneartheend,inabasementflatinBrighton.Shewaspassingthrough ononeofherjourneys,andhadarrangedanightofboardgames,whichbasicallyturned intoaloadofusdoingRockBandat3a.m.,likeeveryonewasbackin2010again.She seemedtiredandstrained,anddisappointed.Shehaddonesomuch,butwantedtodoso muchmoreandfeltthatitwasimpossible.Ileftonthetrain,gladthatheradventureswere nearlyover,andhopedthatwhatevercamenextwouldbekinder.

What came next was Cara deciding to step away from games writing. Well, at least thatllbekinder.

Iveworriedaboutheralotthisyear.Tobefair,Iveworriedabout everyoneingames thisyear,butCaramorethanmost.Thereisapsychicstraintoplayingvideogamesfora living,whichislittletodowiththeworkandmoretodowiththesenseofvocationtoit.If you dont care, and you dont mind the lack of money, you can amble along, playing gamesyoulike,writingsomejust-enoughcopy,andthengohomeanddowhateveritis youlikedoing.

The problem comes when you actually care about games in a way above and beyond just liking them. You can double that problem if you actually care about the craft of writingtoo,becausethenyouendupwrestlingwithalltheproblemsintheindustry.And trustmeifyoucareaboutgamesinthatsensethatyoufeeltheyrecapital-Iimportant, youeventuallycometocareaboutwritingtoo.Youlearntocareaboutthewritingbecause workingoutwaystocommunicatethatnapalminyourheadaseffectivelyasyoucanis aboutallthatskeepingyoutogether.

Gameswritersarewritersandwritersarefuck-ups.Wewouldntdothisifwehadany sense.Itis,toquotesomeoneCarahates,thehardestwaytoearnaneasyliving.

I write that in part to have a little whine, but in part to give a context to what Cara Ellison of Aberdeen has done for you lot. This is an emotionally punishing job anyway, especiallyifyoudothesortofopen-ribcagewritingCaradoes.Shedhavebeenexhausted andbrokenattheendof2014evenifshehadastaffjobsomewhere.Instead,shedecided tostartaPatreonanduseittofundhertravellingtheworld,togiveaglobalportraitofthe gamesindustry,thepeopleinit,whattheydoandwhy.

Thisobviouslysoundslikealotoffun.Waittillyoureadthebook.Itendsupnotbeing that much fun at all. It ends up feeling even masochistic. By halfway through, I was hopingthatCarajustwenthome.Bytheend,IwashopingCarafoundahometogohome to. I pictured her as a pillar-box red square in an existential platform game, CARA ELLISONWASALONE.

Luckilyforus,wedidnthavetodoit,andwejustgettoseetheresults.Asawhole,in its Rashomonstructure,itendsupbeingasnapshotofthegamesindustryin2014,from thetoptothebottom.Deleteeverythinginthatlastsentenceafterthecomma.Thereisno

top or bottom here this is game development as a rainforest. These are a dozen ecological niches being filled, with Cara as our hair-dyed cyberpunk Attenborough bringingusfootage.Whenthemediastillgivesusoneideaofwhatgamesarelike,those sterileglassfortressesofElectronicArts,thisisakaleidoscope.Asagonzoidapostleof Thompson,Caraisasmuchofacharacterinitasanyoneelse.IfIwantedtocreateatime capsuletoshowwhatitwasliketolivethroughThisTurbulentYearingames,Imaygive youthis.Thisiswhatitwaslikeforus,guys.Learn.Itwasawesomeandterrible,andit wasthefuturebeingborn,redandscreaming.

Carasalsolucky.Imfromanoldergenerationofgameswriter.Ijoinedearlyenoughto catchthetailendofthedecadent1990sandleftatthepeakofthefirstindieboomcirca 2010.Ivegotabunchofanecdotesfromthetime,butonedatesfromaround2000.Ifind myself in a social situation with a developer from Looking Glass, specifically someone whodjustworkedon ThiefII.AllthingsImmersiveSimarebasicallymyspecialityatthe time. I float a theory namely, that I look at Looking Glass a little like The Velvet Underground were to the 1960s, in terms of power vs influence vs sales. Its my sort of theory.Theydontblink.Theypassionatelyagree.Thatsabsolutelywhattheyare.

Theres two reasons for telling that anecdote. First, the wonder when meeting people whobelieveingamesjustasintenselyasyoudo. Oh.Yourenotwrong.Imnotaloneinthis. Second, that I was surprised at all at that happening, or thought it worth remembering. BecausesomethinglikethathappenstoCaraoneverysecondpage.

I read this book and felt jealous of Cara, wishing I had a chance to do anything as audaciousinscopeasthis.Yes,shessunderedherselffromheremotionalsupportgroups andanysenseofpermanence,buttheresultsspeakforthemselves.

IfCaraneverwritesaboutgamesagain,itwillbeahugeloss.IfCaraneverwritesabout gamesagain,these50,000orsowordsareaworthymonument.

KotakuoncesortasaidthatKieronGilleninventedGamesJournalism,whichstillmakeshimlaugh.HefirstwroteaboutgamesintheByzantineperiodofAmigaPower,wasfull-timeforPCGamerinitsImperialPhaseandleftgameswritingafterfoundingtheVikingTribeofRock,Paper,Shotgun.Whenhedecidedtoearnsomemoney,hestartedwritingcomics,whichhepresentlydoesforMarvel,ImageandAvatarPress.HesalsotheFatherof New Gam (Dont Mention The War Ed.) He lives in South London. He still hatesZelda.

Embedwith

Embedwith

London

MyfriendsGeorgeBuckenhamandAliceOConnorkindlyagreedtobewrittenaboutasan introduction to my embedding with strangers. George has been making games foryears,bothtraditionalandnon-traditional;thecentralfocusisonhisoutlookongamesasawhole.AliceisSeniorEditorforShacknewsbuthasmorerecentlydonedesignworkforthe sadly now disbanded Hide&Seek. They happen to live in the same flat. Both areheavilyinvolvedinsettinguprenownedLondongamesandmusiceventTheWildRumpus.