About the Author
Smita Kaushik became author by chance and is now pursuing it by choice. Her first novel Lets Get Committed, not only created waves among the young generation, but also pitched some notes with others as well. Though her forte lies in romance with a hint of comedy, she sometimes tries to lay hands on philosophy.
An ex-DPSite, she did her graduation from KIIT University and is currently based in Hyderabad. Always a creatively inclined person, she has excelled in different art forms like contemporary, madhubani and Warli painting and has won many national-level art competitions. For fun, she likes to watch rom-com and read novels.
Published by GENERAL PRESS 4228/1, Ansari Road, Daryaganj New Delhi 110002 Ph. : 011 23282971, 45795759 e-mail : generalpressindia@gmail.com www.generalpress.in Smita Kaushik All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwisewithout the prior written permission of the publishers. First Edition : August 2012 ISBN : 9789380914244 1 3 0 4 2 0 1 7 |
Contents
Dedicated to
Finding Love
Acknowledgement
This novel is very close to my heart and bears glimpses of my life, of what I experienced, of what I observed, a few random stories I heard and the several lessons I learned.
There were various people who contributed towards this, some known and some unknown.
Few people who dont even know that they have enriched my life, my thoughts and thus this story.
They all cant be named but they sure can be thanked.
First, my parents for their everlasting support.
My siblings Annu, Tiku and Moni for keeping me on cloud nine and for their ever continuous encouragement.
Kartik, Gayatri and Kaushal for their avid publicity.
Bhaskar Mitra, Lipsa maam and Srikant sir for their motivation.
My friends Sasmita, Manas and Manisha for hearing the subsequent parts and giving their overwhelming comments.
Soumyahsree and Ananya for being such adorable flat-mates.
Kimmi for typing the chapters from my diary.
Pallavi for being my best friend.
Niti Dave for being so generous.
Ajay Anand and Arpita Baggie for keeping the LGC group alive.
KIIT and the people for their everlasting love and support.
Ashish for appreciating me to such an extent that I start feeling that you have been bribed.
My maternal family for finding about the novel and ordering it.
Shreya Chatterjee for the incredible editing she has put in.
Azeem Ahmed from General Press for his support.
Most of all my precious readers, who solicited me with their fan mails and comments to keep me going.
God, for making me believe.
Last but definitely not the least, Utkarsh for being there.
Lost in her Shadow
As truly said by someone The love that lasts the longest is the love which is never returned.
Walking by these empty lanes, I see myself fading away
Yet I know
Somewhere deep inside of you, you loved me back and it was true
I tried to say, I tried too hard
Each moment I missed, a moment of love
Now just left with memories back when,
A lonely man trailing the solitary lanes
Love was there and love will be
The flames will burn in the air it breathes.
Even though you never loved me back, Ill love you for eternity.
Youll never know, how much you mean to me
I didnt know how to confess what my feelings are;
If only I could know, if the doors to your heart were ajar
I wouldve poured out what I felt back then.
And those times have passed
Just left with memories back when,
Now a lonely man trailing the solitary lanes
It was too late then, you were gone
But this day I have so much to say,
No time to dream, nowhere to sway.
Just one chance to tell you that is all I need
How much I loved, for you I lived.
And here I am, forever yours to stay
Yes I mean forever, for that I will try,
Hope you will come one day to pass me by.
Sometimes I feel, I am a bit too late
Too late to feel this way
But I will try it again some day
And then I fall back
And think of the times back when
We were young and we were friends.
And as time has passed, things have changed,
I am still in your love, but you have moved away.
Dibyajyoti Chowdhury
I have been writing since my childhood days and have a great interest in poetry as well as writing stories and personal accounts with an emotional touch mostly based on experiences and random thoughts. (Winner The Girl I Last Loved poem contest)
Preface
We always question destiny that it never gave us the chance on love
But isnt the real question whether we gave ourselves that chance?
Chapter 1
Present Day Mumbai
Darkness all around. Vision getting blurred. It takes some time for the eyes to get adjusted to sudden darkness or brightness. Just like in life, we are always taken aback by sudden pleasure or pain, the same feeling of breathlessness, why does it always surround me. I am gasping for air and not getting much success. Someone pushing me from behind; in turn I am pushing the one in front of me. Youve to impel others to get what you want; you cant blame others as everyone including yourself is doing the same. I can feel the adrenalin rush. Everyone has to run as they have a place to reach, a place they call home a home where someone is waiting for them, who will be worried if they are late. But me, I am just getting dragged along the crowd as I have no place to reach, no place to call a home, no family to wait for me. Look at the irony of the situation life is making me smirk at my very own misery!
Its really funny, even if you arent making any effort to move on, you will, as time never stops. You feel nothing much is going to change but it does, slowly and gradually without you ever noticing.
People who are important will cease to matter six years from now if they walk out of your life at this point. You wont forget them but you wont even recall them every now and then, even if it was the person you were once madly in love with. You may still be in love with that person, but other things will get in your head and your lovers memories will be locked behind a door you would rarely visit.
The time progressed a minute or few and I was out of that overfilled passage. Huh! Its Friday, so I am travelling by locals. It feels great to be around so many people whom you dont know at all but you can somewhere relate to their lives. A great place to identify yourself with several emotions, which either you cant feel or no longer have the ability to.
I used to come here as a kid. Dad used to bring me here for a walk and get me my favourite cutlet which Bansi bhaiya used to make around the corner. That was till he got transferred to Lucknow and then he never returned.
Everything has changed since then but nothing seems different. Except a few more lights, a few extra waiting seats, increased shops, more betel stains at nooks and corners. Increased security in an attempt to prevent another 26/11. Finally, jostling young crowd running between different tuitions and home, under the pressure of cracking various competitions bearing very few seats.
