Preeti Shenoy - The Magic Mindset: How to Find Your Happy Place

For my father, K.V. J. Kamath, the epitome of positivity
My mother, Priya, the epitome of strength
My son, Atul, the epitome of kindness

CONTENTS

PART 1
Understanding the Magic Mindset

PART 2
Practising the Magic Mindset

PART 3
Sustaining the Magic Mindset: Fight the Drains

PART 4
Fun with the Magic Mindset! A 14-Day Activity Challenge to Help You Start Your Journey into the Magic Mindset

O N 31 DECEMBER 2019, I WENT OUT FOR A COFFEE WITH my daughter. I was happy that she was in India and with me for the new year. We clicked selfies, shared them on social media and wished each other a Happy New Year. We were hopeful and optimistic, looking for a new beginning, a fresh start. Even for the most cynical among us, the start of something is always exciting. It feels like a blank canvas on which we are free to paint as we please.

When we wished each other joy, health, happiness, prosperity for the next year, we sincerely believed it would be better than the last. The year 2020 was specialnot only was it a brand new year but also a brand new decade.

Little did we know it would turn out to be one of the worst wed ever faced.

I had grand plans, like many of us. My thirteenth book was to be launched, and tours had already been planned. The marketing strategy was in place. Months of effort that went into writing would now culminate in a physical bookone of the highlights of a writers life.

In March 2020when the pandemic had only just reared its ugly head and we had no idea what lay in storeI was in Mumbai for the cover launch of my book. There was uncertainty in the air, but the magnitude of what was to come had not sunk in yet. My book event was cancelled, and I barely managed to make it back home to Bengaluru. I did not know it then, but it would be at least five more months before I could step out of my residential complex.

On the personal front, I had planned to be in Singapore in August 2020 to watch my children graduate. As the lockdowns kept getting extended, I began to lose all hope of seeing my children any time soon. After several months of uncertainty, my son and my daughter managed to move countries during the pandemic on special evacuation flights, and successfully completed the mandated quarantine. I think I greyed more in fifteen days than I have done in fifteen years.

Eventually, my book launch was organized online. My childrens graduation ceremony was online. They happened, and we were glad, but they just didnt feel the same.

A writers job is a solitary one. Even before the pandemic struck, my work did not involve going out or meeting other people. I stay at home, and I let my imagination soar. My office is inside my head. And yet, the pandemic affected me badly. One cannot be immune to what is happening around them. For months, I was in such shock that I couldnt work on any fiction.

The world had turned upside down. As I type this, the dreaded COVID-19 has taken the lives of over 2.78 million people worldwide. It has caused losses amounting to billions of dollars. Today, we are in a strange situation, forced to co-exist with fear, uncertainty and a general bleakness hanging in the air. Though vaccines are now out, theres not a single person I know who believes this will pass and things will return to normal. The idea persists that this is the new normal and that we must make peace with it. Many people told me that during the lockdown, they felt claustrophobic, as their apartments had no balconies. They craved fresh air. They wanted to go to the gym. They fell into depression, isolated and cooped up. They felt they had nothing to look forward to in life.

When the first lockdown was announced in India, I started a series of blog posts called 21 Days of Positivity. Every day, I would write a new blog post, which people could read in their inbox, free of cost, if they subscribed. As the lockdowns kept getting extended, I continued posting on my Instagram account simple things that give joy. To my surprise, I began receiving hundreds of messages of gratitude and thanks, telling me that my posts were the only things helping people get through the day, urging me to write more such posts. It was overwhelming to think that whatever I shared was having an impact on peoples lives.

A lot of people also wrote to me asking if its truly possible to be happy all the time? They said I made it seem easy. How does one be positive when the reality is harsh? Does one take a Pollyannaish approach, pretending that the situation does not exist? Do we ignore the terrible statistics of deaths and the crippling economic growth that stare at us everywhere we look? How do we manage it?

When I started responding to the queries, the replies became longer and longer. Many asked me to put them up so they could refer to it whenever they felt the need for a pick-me-up. I began talking to people, asking them what they found most difficult about being hopeful. As they opened up to me, I discovered I had a lot of suggestions and tips to offer. After all, I had some experience in facing grief.

A few years back, I had faced the biggest loss of my life, a tragedy from which I thought I would never recover. But eventually, I did. I also inadvertently discovered a precious skillthat we can indeed change our mindset and cope with anything that life throws at us. I call this the magic mindset.

The magic mindset consists of a set of principles for every area of life, designed to help us shift our perspective from hopelessness to hope, from despondency to joy, from cynicism to beliefa belief that change is coming, and things are not as bad as they seem. If we view our problems through the lens of the magic mindset, they dont seem that big or daunting.

While the principles capture the general idea, what is hard is to put those principles to practise. In this book, I have offered practical steps we can take in situations that trouble us, so that we feel more in control. I have also come up with exercises within each chapter, which can help us define the exact problem facing us.

Often when we think of a problem we are facing, our thoughts are jumbled. They go on in a loop, binding us, rendering us helpless as we get caught in a never-ending cycle of stress, stemming from inaction, simply because we feel helpless. We do not think clearly when we are within the situation.

The questions in this book require that we contemplate a bit before answering. There are no right or wrong answers. One persons reality and journey can be completely different from anothers. I encourage doing every exercise as it comes up, before reading further. At the end of the book, there is a 14-Day Magic Mindset Challenge to gently nudge us towards the magic mindset journey.

This book does not have to be read in any particular order. For instance, if you feel you are happy about most things but your relationships could do with a little help, turn to that section. But whatever section you choose to read, the book will not help if you read it like a novel and rush through it! It requires active participation, and whatever I outline in these pages should be practised.

I have followed all of it myself and shared everything that helped me. I have also included anecdotes from which we can all be inspired. I have shared personal stories from my life too.

You can keep returning to the exercises whenever you feel the need for it. Your answers might be different based on your changing circumstances and your mindset at that point in your life. Keep practising and be consistent. If you do, I assure you that youll begin to see a change in your outlook.