Preeti Shenoy - Love, Kisses and All Things Warm

Love, Kisses

and

All Things Warm

Preeti Shenoy

westland ltd

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This e-book edition first published by westland ltd 2015

Copyright Preeti Shenoy 2015

All rights reserved

ISBN: 978-93-84030-97-1

Typeset by PrePSol Enterprises Pvt. Ltd.

Disclaimer

Due care and diligence has been taken while editing and printing the book. Neither the author, publisher, nor the printer of the book holds any responsibility for any mistake that may have crept in inadvertently. Westland Ltd, the Publisher and the printers will be free from any liability for damages and losses of any nature arising from or related to the content. All disputes are subject to the jurisdiction of competent courts in Chennai.

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, circulated, and no reproduction in any form, in whole or in part (except for brief quotations in critical articles or reviews) may be made without written permission of the publishers.

A Note from the Author

Is it easier to love or to be loved? asked a good friend. I had no answers for him. Love is a topic that is as vast as, and more expansive than the cosmos and the entire universe. It means different things to different people, entirely depending on what stage of life they are in. If you asked a teen, a middle-aged person, a mother, a single person who hasnt found The One, and someone in their sixties to define love, you would get different definitions from each of them.

This little collection consisting of five pieces is my attempt to explore what love is really about. A couple of them were written for my column in the Financial Chronicle . It also has some illustrations that I have hand-drawn, which express what love means to me. It also has two true love stories: that of Margaret and Cyril, and my very own.

You may believe in love or you may be cynical about itbut if you are left with a fuzzy warm feeling after you read these, I shall consider my job done.

Much love (and not just on Valentines!),

Preeti Shenoy

Feb 14th 2015

Love Changes Everything

If you are an adult, chances are that you have been in love at least once, and you know how it makes you feel like Superman minus the costume. When in love, the dopaminea neurotransmitter in your braingoes on overdrive, releasing a lot of feel-good hormones, like oxytocin, phenylethylamine and a few other unpronounceable names. The chemicals combine to give you a natural high, making you see only what is great in the relationship. Everything instantly seems brighter, larger than life, and has clear, sharp, high-definition focus, like suddenly discovering clarity with new glasses after viewing the world through myopic, hazy vision for many years. The newly chosen one is perfect in every respect, and even the quirks are adorable.

Talks on the telephone stretch on for hours, the conversation flowing smoother than the finest silk with a phone-bill to match. There is nothing that can go wrong in this relationship, this ones for keeps, and you describe to those of your friends who arent already bored of listening to you droning on, how perfect it is and how very fortunate you are.

Experts say that this stage can last anything from two months to two years. If things have gone smoothly during this time period, you find yourself living together, or in most cases, married. (After all, what is the reason to wait? This is undoubtedly The One you want to spend the rest of your life with.)

Then creeps up the stage where the blinkers dissolve. Gradually, the neurotransmitters slow down, taking a break, and the brain stops producing the happy-hormones. This is when reality sets in and the fights start. Living together leads to the discovery of many hitherto unknown aspects of the perfect person, the newly-discovered traits not always in sync with your way of doing things. The earlier Sweetie, wet towel on the floor, dont worry I will get it, changes to Grrr I always have to clean up after you.

If the relationship survives the assault of harsh reality and the not-so-harmonious adjustments that come with living together and the blinkers-off stage, then the couple is on its way to sturdier grounds. However, one cannot be complacent that it is now a happily-ever-after, as this part comes with its dangers too.

Sometimes the dangers are in the form of attractive colleagues with whom out-station trips on work are unavoidable, and sometimes they are in the form of an old flame you presumed had been relegated to history, but who has now reappeared with a casual Hey-didnt-we-go-to-college-together message thanks to social media which allows people to track down almost anybody, except perhaps Rip Van Winkle (and perhaps him too, if you care to look hard enough).

Whether you decide to go amber, green or red with these distractions or remain true-blue to your now not-so-perfect chosen one, with whom you have to spend the rest of your life, will be a decision you agonize over. If you ignore your call from the past, you would be left with an unfinished longing of what-if, and if you proceed there is a very real danger of it exploding into something far beyond your control and you risk losing what you have nurtured and built up over several years. Sometimes you discover that the clear blue stream of the youth existed only in your imagination. The waters are muddier and murkier than ever before and it was safer to stay on known shores than to risk exploring. If your little amorous adventures are discovered by the spouse, the relationship faces another storm and is put to further tumultuous tests.

Statistical studies reveal that, globally, the chances of a divorce are highest between the fourth and eighth wedding anniversaries. These stages are not clearly demarcated, rather they are fluid, with each stage blending into another, learning lessons from it, coming back and moving on. Also, the possibility of a divorce is very much prevalent in all stages, much like the sword of Damocles.

If all the above are navigated safely, congratulations are in order, as you have made it to the we-are-a-team stage. At this point, you have accepted your partner with all his/her flaws and weaknesses and you understand that you are never going to succeed in trying to change them. Yet you choose to be with the person, and for the first time the clichd saying Love changes everything begins to make new sense.

Nothing Official about It

In 1989, in a law firm in Chicago, a young man, a summer intern, asked his mentor out. She turned him down but he was persistent. She finally relented, and they watched a movie together on their first date. Three years later they were engaged. They got married the following year, and are married to this date. The pair was none other than Michelle and Barack Obama. This is perhaps one of the most famous workplace romances that led to the altar. There are other equally well-known couples, like Bill and Melinda Gates, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, and Aamir Khan and Kiran Raoif you want a couple who are closer homewho met at work.

More often than not there is nothing official about office romances. Once cupid strikes, you tend to linger longer at water coolers, coffee vending machines or the photocopying area, depending on where you are likely to run into your object of interest. If you happen to work on the same project together, chances are you will be passing You look awesome and Meet me for a cup of coffee? notes discreetlyor not so discreetly, depending on how alert your colleagues areduring boring company meetings.