Iyanla Vanzant - Yesterday, I Cried : Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving

Other books by Iyanla Vanzant

Acts of Faith

The Value in the Valley

Faith in the Valley

One Day My Soul Just Opened Up

In the Meantime

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Excerpts from A Course in Miracles Text: Workbook, and Manual for Teachers, First Edition, used by permission of The Foundation for A Course in Miracles : Chapter 1: Workbook, page 351; Chapter 2: Text, page 132; Chapter 8: Text, page 13; Chapter 9: Text, pages 5 and 607; Chapter 10: Text, page 285; Chapter 12: Text, page 244; Chapter 13: Text, page 136; Chapter 14: Workbook, page 213; Text page 11. Excerpt from The Return of the Ragpicker by Og Mandino, copyright 1992 by Og Mandino.

T HANK YOU , G OD , D IVINE M OTHER , by all the names you are known and called, for all the second chances you have given me, and for never asking me to do anything I was not equipped to do. It is only by your grace, and through your divine mercy, that I have made it this far. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you, God, for spirit in the body that I know and recognize as Blanche Richardson of Marcus Books in Oakland, California. Had you not shown up as Blanche to breathe with me through the process of this birth, I know this project would not have been born with such great joy and love and ease.

Thank you, God, for Terry McMillan, who said yes to what Blanche and I needed.

Thank you, God, for all the Mothering Angels you sent to love me in the most intense hours of my insanity. I thank you for showing up as Elvia Myrie, Wilhelmina Myrie, Tulani Kinard, Roseanne Logan, Stephanie Weaver, Denise DeJean, Linda Beatty-Stevenson, Melba Ramsay-Fernandez, Majorie Battle, the entire Inner Visions team, and of course, Carmen.

Thank you, God, for being a strong shoulder I could rest upon in the bodies of the Reverend Dr. Barbara Lewis King and David Phillips, Ph.D.

Thank you, God, for showing up at Simon & Schuster in the bodies of Christine Saunders, Trish Todd, Sue Fleming, Victoria Meyer, Annik LaFarge, Carolyn Reidy, Marcela Landres, David Rosenthal, Chris Lloreda, and Mark Gompertz.

Thank you, God, for the staff of the Oakland Marriott Hotel for their support throughout the writing of this book.

Thank you, God, for my friend, my lover, my pumpkin, my husband. Thank you, God, for making a way out of no way, and for making me a brand-new instrument.

Thank you, God, for Mahogany, a Division of Hallmark Cards, Inc., who donated the beautiful cover art and supports my work and my vision and helps me spread the message.

This book is dedicated to Ms. Oprah Winfrey, for your holy boldness and willingness to demonstrate to the world how to heal in public without losing Gods grace or your own dignity; and to my children, Damon Keith, Gemmia Lynnette, and Nisa Camille for all the yesterdays you cried when I didnt have enough compassion for myself, or the strength required to wipe your tears; and in loving memory of Sarah Jefferson, my mother, Lynnette May Brown-Harris, my Mommy and best friend, Nancy McCullum, my aunt, Ruth Carlos, my first real sister.

Dear Iya:

Yesterday, I Cried will be a blessing to the world as you have been a blessing to me. I remember when I first heard your voice on tape (the National Black Wholistic Health Retreat tape). I could not sit down. I started pacing. Was this because of the truth you were sharing? I thought so then, and as the years have passed, I know that it really was because I was hearing a member of my souls family.

When I met you in the flesh, I could see your apprehension, and your love. I remember how much you gave of yourself. Iya, you were so available to the women who were present. I felt very protective of you, then and now. I did not want people to use you up, or burn you out. I also remember how unconcerned you were about the money. It wasnt because you were financially set, either. You set the basket of money in the sun, telling me it would grow, and the very next day, one of the women we were working with gave you a large sum of money.

I remember all of the little notes to yourself (on the walls, in the bathroom, near your bed) in your house on Pine Street. I remember how thirsty you were for truth and the clarity of truth. I remember all of our conversations, processing, laughing, cussing, crying, and laughing some more. I find it absolutely incredible how you have moved through some very serious and heavy stuff with a sense of humor. Your humor is a gift!

I want to say some things to you that you perhaps do not realize about yourself. You have really, really paid your dues. People dont know the risks you took to be where you are, the stable jobs you said no to so that you could remain free enough to walk on nothing, absolutely nothing, but faith. You put your trust in the process. I have been a witness to your acts of faith. You are more focused than you realize. People dont know how you opened your home to everyone and anyone, and how you gave of yourself so unselfishly. People dont know about the health challenges that presented themselves, or how you said no to them, aligned yourself for healing, and found it. People dont know the toll and the price you have paid, traveling with the word in your belly.

What I have loved about you is your honesty, even about your dishonesty. I love that you have the tenacity to operate effectively in the world. I have enjoyed the process of watching you grow and heal yourself and others. I am so very proud of you. I feel that I am a part of the process and of you. When they speak of you, I feel theyre talking about me too! You have been a sister to me, a friend, a teacher, a student, and my baby. I really believe I came into your life to love you unconditionally.

When you became famous, I really missed our timeyou eating coffee ice cream and me subs. But you stayed connected, and I adjusted. I was happy with you, and for you, for the way Spirit was using you. Yet I felt the loss. This was all a part of the process. Your process. My process. Our process. I have watched you reframe your history. I have watched you take leaps. I have watched you, and it has been a joy. Im loving you, Iya.

Shaheerah (Reverend Linda Stephens)

Detroit, MI