Leah Campbell - Single Infertile Female

Adventures in Love, Life, and Infertility...

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2013 Leah Campbell

License Notes: All rights reserved. This book or anyportion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any mannerwhatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher,except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

ISBN-13: 978-1483911335

ISBN-10: 1483911330

Cover design copyright Sarah Hansen of OkayCreations

Photography copyright Robin Haws of Studio ElevenPhotography, Skidmore, TX

www.singleinfertilefemale.com

Ebook formatting by www.ebooklaunch.com

I am not a doctor. This is my personal story, basedon my personal experiences. The opinions expressed and medicaldecisions made are mine and mine alone. You should always consultwith a medical practitioner you trust when it comes to making yourown medical decisions.

There are only two things I have ever reallywanted to be in life - an author and a mother. I have my friendJenner to thank for pushing me to pursue that first dream. While inthe midst of yet another quarter life crisis, she was the one whoasked me why it was I had been so afraid of taking this leap. WhenI told her I wasn't sure I had a story worth telling, she called mecrazy and demanded I write this one.

This book would not have come to be withouther. And now that I know what I am actually capable of, I canfinally see this as my future.

A dream that before now, I had alwaysassumed would remain just that - a dream.

In my head I have already written the nextfive books, and I know who each of those books should be dedicatedto. But waiting to give those people "thanks", assumes there willfor sure be a next book. Without yet knowing where this one willgo, it feels safer to acknowledge as many people as I can now. Justin case.

So thank you to my grandmother, for alwaysbeing my biggest supporter in everything I do.

To my dad, for, well... being my dad. Andfor taking over the role of mother, cheerleader, mentor, and friendalong the way as well. He is hands down the most incredible man Iknow, and the person I look to every time I want to become a betterversion of myself.

To Justin, my best friend for as long as Ican remember. The boy who I cut out of this book, if only becausetelling our story would have made it a tome too large to carry. Iwould not be the same person without you, and I am thankful eachand every day for your presence in my life. A man who gets me,loves me, and somehow always knows how to make me smile.

To Lindsay and Stephanie, for standing by myside and being the best surrogate partners a girl could hope for.Women who held my hand and let me cry, even when they may not havealways been able to understand.

And to Lindsey and Dawn, for coming alongand showing me that I was not alone. For being the amazing friendsI would have wanted in my life, even without this connection weshare.

To Dr. Cook, of Vital Health Institute inSan Jose, California, for literally giving me my life back.

And to Josie - my love, my heart, myeverything. The answer to that second dream, who came along justwhen I had stopped allowing myself to hope she ever would. Everytear shed along the way was worth it, and every heartache enduredone I would experience again - because every step along the way hasbrought me to you, and there is no place else in this world I wouldrather be.

"Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece bypiece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all theimportant bits are supposed to go." - Nick Hornby, A LongWay Down

I have always been a wanderer; a restlessgirl looking for the next great adventure or opportunity to startover. I suppose that is to be expected based solely upon thechaotic and broken environment in which I was raised. My childhoodwas a modern tale of abandonment and loss, with my mother out ofthe picture and my father doing the best he could. We each have ourstories to tell, pasts that shaped the person we have now become.My past taught me to embrace my independence and protect my heartat all costs. I discovered early on that when all else fails,running away continues to be a viable option.

I did not look at it as running, of course.I simply learned that I grew bored when life became stagnant. Apiece of my heart constantly craved new challenges andopportunities to prove myself worthy. That was how I found myself,one early June morning, packing the few belongings that hadsurvived a moving sale into the back of my CR-V. I was sayinggoodbye to roommateswho over the years had become familyand I washeading north. To Alaska. By myself.

At 25 years old, I had just graduatedcollege with a degree in psychology; a choice of study thatreflected my constant need to understand myself and those aroundme. It was the fourth major I had declared, at the third school Ihad enrolled in. I graduated with enough credits to have a fewdegrees, had they all only followed a similar path of study. Thiswas the restlessness with which I lived my life.

I had been living in San Diego for threeyears, working at a popular bar right by the water. Most of mynights were spent either serving drinks or downing them myself. Irode my beach cruiser everywhere, spent days with my toes in thesand, and was always caught up in the breathlessness of falling forwhatever man had most recently caught my eye. None of them everlasted long, because in an effort to protect my heart and theindependence I so fiercely valued, I never allowed any of them toget too close. Still, I had built a good life for myself, brick bybrick. The list of things I had to complain about was small.

I was constantly surrounded by friends, menand women aged 20 to 40 all living the same life I was. Drinking,partying, surfing, piling roommates into homes they otherwise couldnot afford, and trading partners like children playing games. Wewere all avoiding growing up, living in this college bubble we hadcreated for ourselves. Pacific Beach California was the place PeterPan dreams were made of.

It was as I was flipping through myuniversity's newspaper one day, that I came across an ad for eggdonors. I knew a friend who had done this, and I had always beenintrigued by the idea. Low on cash (as most college students are),I called the number listed. I went on to donate my eggs to twodifferent families during my last year of school. It was anopportunity to make extra money, but it was also a chance to helpwomen who had come up against circumstances that were completelyout of their control in the pursuit of motherhood. I could notrelate to their plight, but my heart went out to them.

That was the start of my yearning for moreout of life. The partying, beach going, and casual dating - it hadall been fun, but helping women so ready to build their familiesmade me begin to wonder when I would be ready to build my own. Sowhen a friend from college, now living in Alaska, got knocked up bya guy she had only been dating for a few months; I was alreadyprimed to make a leap.

It was just that if you had told me my leapwould be so far and so north, I probably would not have believedyou at the time. Growing up in Arizona and now living in SouthernCalifornia, my exposure to snow had been limited. I was a girl whoreached for a sweater any time the temperature dipped below 70. Icould not fathom why anyone would ever choose to live in anicy climate.

But when my friend's son was born inJanuary, I immediately got on a flight. Despite how unsure I was ofthe cold, I was determined to be there to meet her little boy. Irolled off that plane wrapped in so many layers that those aroundme had likely started to contemplate whether or not I wouldsuffocate beneath the weight of wool.