Melody J. Laughlin - I Love You Baby Girl... A heartbreaking true story of child abuse and neglect.

Melody J. Laughlin

Published by Melody J.Laughlin at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Melody J. Laughlin

www.melodylaughlin.com

This book is dedicated to all of the peoplethat reached out and helped me. For the families that took me inwhen no one else would. I would also like to make a dedication tothree women that played an extremely vital role in my life at mydarkest hour. These three women Brenda, Barbara and Elaine, eachgave of themselves, opened their doors, shared their families andtaught me what being a strong woman was about. These women freelygave of themselves because they believed in a girl whom we shallrefer to as Sarah.

To my husband Richard who always supports allof my endeavors.

She was barely able to make out the words onthe other end of the phone. The womans voice gurgled, strained;finally she pieced it together, I love you baby girl. She keptrepeating that phrase over and over in her head before she finallydrifted off to sleep on the red-eye flight from San Diego toAlbany, New York.

Did you break my jewelry box Sarah? Alexdemanded.

She heard her father screaming, and yet hermind was not registering what was happening. She was only five andyet she knew that tone. That tone made you wish you were invisible,or to hide under your bed until his anger faded away. There wasntgoing to be any hiding opportunities this time for he already hadgrasped her arm and was twisting it and yelling at her, his facemenacingly close, she could smell the alcohol on his breath, sheknew she was going to be crying before this day was over.

She glanced over at her mother franticallywho was just sitting there watching with a blank stare on her face.You see the five year old had witnessed who dropped the jewelry boxearlier in the day, her mother had. Surely she thought, mommy willtell him the truth, yet she didnt dare speak the words, she justlooked at her with tears in her eyes silently imploring.

She was shaken abruptly again, and her fathernow demanded an answer, Did you break my jewelry box?

She quickly responded No, I didnt touchit!

Her father glared at her and called her aliar, Your mother said you did, and he immediately slapped her sohard across the face she fell down. Get the belt he bellowed.

She knew better than to ignore his request,and she scrambled to her feet and brought the thick leather belt toher father.

Gazing over to her mother, her eyes onceagain silently implored, Please help me, tell him the truth,please. Once again she was met with a blank stare; she was goingto have to take the fall for something she didnt do. At thatmoment, she felt she was truly much all alone in the world.

He beat her repeatedly that night with thebelt as he often did in his drunken stupor, and though she criedand cried, there was no one there to help her, or make the pain goaway. Not even the landlord that lived below them would try andhelp anymore. Unfortunately for Sarah in 1972 there were nostringent child, protective laws and people only did so much.

Later that night her father left to go out tothe bars again, a nightly ritual. Her mother was watching TV, andshe sat down next to her and asked, Mommy why did you tell I brokethe jewelry box?

Her mother looked down at her and saidquietly Because you did!

Waking up with a start, they were startingthe descent into Albany, she wiped the tears from her eyes andgazed out the plane window and said softly to herself, She lied tohim because she couldnt stand another beating herself. As shetook a deep breath, she tried to suppress the words I love youbaby girl from echoing in her head.

Growing up in poverty stricken upstate NewYork was no picnic and Ruth was not an exception for how povertyaffected the children. Ruth was Ethan and Marys 7thchild and second daughter. Ethan showed Ruth favoritism and wouldtypically spoil the girl. However, with eight other siblings, Ruthhad her share of hard work, and being the 2nd girl, shewas required to help out Mary with the younger children. That was alot of responsibility for young girl growing up.

Ruths father met the criteria for thetypical Irishman stereotype, a drunkard. Evan was a hard-workingman, loved by all, but was known to consume his full wages at thebars. This left remarkably little for the family to survive on, andthe basics like food and clothing were scarce.

Ruth grew up wanting to escape the world shewas in, and she was willing to do anything for that escape. Whenshe met Alex, a local gang member, she thought maybe all of herdreams had come true. Alex was a charming young man who also camefrom a large family, and was the youngest of 15 children. They wereboth 16 when they met and Ruths father adamantly said no to themgetting married, he knew of the reputation around town that Alexand his older brothers had and he didnt believe that he would be agood match for his youngest daughter Ruth.

That wasnt about to squelch the young loversand before long they ran off together to New Jersey to work withthe carnies at the local fair. This was the first time that Ruthhad anything to call her own. The money she made she could use tobuy new clothes and Alex treated her like his queen, they lived onthe fringe, but they were happy.

Their happiness only lasted a few monthsbefore Evan found his daughter, and dragged her back home and hadAlex arrested for taking a minor over the state line. As soon asAlex got out of jail the two ran off again, in what would become avicious cycle. Alex and Ruth would run away, and Evan would getthem and drag Ruth home, though he never again had Alex arrested,he thought often about having him killed. However, those were justthoughts that Evan had, for though he hated Alex, he loved hisdaughter, and knew that if he hurt the boy, Ruth would neverforgive him. Finally Ruth was 18, and there was nothing that wouldstop her from obtaining what she wanted and that was to marry Alex.Evan finally agreed, and the wedding plans began.

The two were married in September of 1964, ina modest ceremony with close friends and family at the Stone StreetPresbyterian Church. Alex was in between jobs and so the newlymarried couple ended up living for a while with Ruths parents.They were still living there 9 months later when Sarah wasborn.

Perhaps it was a case of post-partumdepression, or maybe it was the fact that getting married didntsolve her problems, but after Ruth gave birth to Sarah sheexperienced a mental breakdown. Back then treatment of clinicaldepression resulted in a stay at the St. Lawrence PsychiatricCenter and Ruth was no exception. Leaving her young infant Sarah inthe care of her mother, Ruth was hospitalized for nearly 6 months.During this time Alex moved out of the house, not wanting theresponsibility of caring for a new born on his shoulders, he wentback to his gang and began his path of alcoholism, to deal with thefact his beloved Ruth was in the loony-bin.

During the time Ruth was hospitalized, theinfant Sarah did not adapt well to life outside of the womb. Shewas a colicky baby and allergic to all types of infant formula.Back then lactose intolerance was not discovered, and babies wereeither breastfed, or fed milk-based formula. It was not like today,where there are all types of formulas to provide for individualneeds. The child was exhibiting failure to thrive syndrome steadilylosing weight until a diet was found that could be tolerated. Afterbeing switched to fresh buttermilk and squash the constantscreaming stopped, and her grandparents were given some much neededpeace.

Alex would come over to see the child fromtime to time, but he truly resented the baby for the mothersbreakdown. Alex resented Sarah so much that he began to hurt thechild on his visits. One time Evan caught Alex touching the tip ofa lit cigarette to the infants arm, burning her. Evan becameenraged and literally threw Alex out of the house, telling him thathe was no longer welcome. Alex didnt come back until the day Ruthwas released from the psychiatric center.