Young - Teenage kicks : a true story of dark streets to bright new beginnings

Teenage Kicks
a true story of dark streets to bright new beginnings

First published in 2012 by
Ecademy Press
48 St Vincent Drive,
St Albans, Herts, AL1 5SJ
www.ecademy-press.com

Printed and bound by Lightning Source in the UK and USA
Designed by Neil Coe

Printed on acid-free paper from managed forests. This book is printed on demand, so no copies will be remaindered or pulped.

ISBN 978-1-907722-95-0

The right of Sian Young to be identified as the author of this work has been inserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the copyright holder except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988. Applications for the Copyright holders written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publishers.

This book is available online and all good bookstores.
Copyright 2012 Sian Young

I dedicate this book firstly to my wonderful son, for he is a true gift from the gods.

I next send my deepest love to Jennifer who taught me how to be a woman and showed me the love of a mother. May she rest in peace.

I thank also all the people who have touched my life and have caused me to learn. I thank the people who put up with me while I was in a desperate state and to those who helped me on my healing journey. Thank you to all the strong women I know, without them I would be lost. I wish nothing but blessings be bestowed upon you and the people you love.

To my nan and granddad for being the one constant connection with my family. I thank my mother for giving me life, I am very thankful that we have such a good loving relationship now.

A special mention to Poppy who has been an unwavering friend in my life and has always let me know that I can achieve anything I desire and that anything is possible.

Thank you, Paula Hogg, for your continued belief in me and my power and your homeopathic treatments. You always know what I need and you are always right.

Thank you to the Samaritans who are always there when I call and to the free local counselling agencies who helped hold my hand through some deep healing.

I thank Kelis Groghty for the Reiki healing and guidance she gave me as this was the key to the beginning of my healing process. I thank Yasmeen for pushing me to bring this book into reality and supporting its growth.

My book Teenage Kicks contains stories about parts of my life so far not all as this would take many books. I have called it Teenage Kicks as it is a book containing stories of things I got up to when I was a young homeless girl aged 15 on the streets of Scotland. What I have tried to do in this book is to take you back with me to each stage I have lived and grown, by using colourful Scottish language along with powerful descriptions of sights, sounds and smells.

When reading this book you will experience my tongue-in-cheek sense of humour, along with the hope, joy and grains of love that have made it possible for me to survive such an existence. I will show you the real subculture of the drug, party and street culture that exists in Fife and Edinburgh from a homeless girl/womans point of view. I have also made it possible for you to step back and see all the players on the stage. To see how feeders (feeders are those that lure vulnerable people into their web with a mind to abuse them for financial gain) take a hold of vulnerable children and young people then abuse them.

I hope this book will give you a valuable insight into drug street culture, self-harm and self-abuse, how a person can get lost and how you can come to a stage in your life where your worth is not realised, even by yourself. I want to help young people who are continually abused and abusing themselves. There is a contact list of agencies that are safe and supportive to these needs at the back of the book. We are all special. These stories do not run in a chronological order, they are individual stories written from the perspective and memories of a teenage girl. That teenage girl who was, and of course still is, me. I feel that readers will be able to relate to one, if not more, of the situations I have lived through. I hope they will gain some strength in the knowledge from my experiences, as I know I have.

To know you are not alone and that you can and will make positive changes to your life no matter how bad your life may be, so take heart, you can and will heal yourself, it is up to you.

Me after homelessness

I would like to start this book by sharing with you some of the names and sweet messages I grew up with as a young developing woman; this I hope will help you understand some of the choices I have made in my life. First to share with you the endearing names given to me by my stepfather George (who married my mother when I was four years old) such as Bitch, Slut, Crab, Slag, Lying Bastard all the kind of names to help me grow up feeling loved and respected as a young woman. Some other lovely comments he would say (by saying lovely I am sure you can hear my sarcasm): No one would want to be your friend, bitch, unless they wanted something from you; who you going to fuck tonight, slag? The sort of comments that make it impossible (no matter how hard you try) to go into a group of young teenagers and feel as though you really belong and that they are really your friends and not just there to get what they want from you. I was about 12 when these comments started, as far as I can remember. The more the years passed, the more my brain struggled to find myself and respect myself; I started to act like a fucked up teenager.

I will now share with you some of the memories of growing up.

Katie, says George.

Yes.

You have a choice: you can come fishing with me at 5:30 this morning or you can stay in bed, he responds.

To me this means getting up at 5:30 on a weekend and sitting freezing and damp next to a river with your rod out.

The bonus however is fresh chicken, salad, Coca-Cola and all sorts of goodies or If you dont thats fine! But what you may eat out of the fridge is this Edam and bread, he continues.

Humm! Let me see? I ponder: on one hand bread and cheese and on the other chicken, salad, cola, crisps and cakes? I am coming fishing, I shout downstairs to him. I cannot remember much about these fishing trips, probably because they were too early in the morning for my brain to be fully operational, but for sure my taste buds were. It really depends on how hungry or how tired I am, whether or not I choose to go.

Katie! George shouts to me. You want to come fishing tomorrow?

No thank you! I am tired and need some sleep; it has been a hard week at school!

Fuck off you lazy bitch, school isnt hard work! he shouts at me.