Kate Skylark - Dirty Little Dog: A shocking true tale of childhood abuse at the hands of a stranger

DIRTY LITTLE DOG

A horrifying true story of child abuse,

and the little girl who couldn't tell a soul.

KATE SKYLARK & SOPHIE JENKINS

Copyright 2015 Kate Skylark

Disclaimer

This book is based on true events.

The names of people and places have been changed to protect the innocent.

Cover photograph is posed by a model and is used for illustrative purposes only

PROLOGUE

M other was not a cruel woman; indeed, there was not an ounce of intentional harm in her. But I would sadly go on to harbour immense resentment toward her because of what was to happen that summer. My mother didnt beat us, she didnt put us down, shout and swear, or drink too much and forget to feed us. She didnt bring unsuitable men home or gamble away the family allowance. No, my mothers fault was simply to be absent-minded to the point of neglect. She was a clever woman in many ways, but her lack of common sense and a seeming inability to think clearly and foresee the possible or even likely consequences of a particular course of action would lead to catastrophe.

Mum, I know you did not mean for what happened to happen. I know you would have taken a different action if you could have foreseen what was to befall me that summer. But, Mum, any normal mother, any normal person should have been able to sense the danger, and so prevented the terrible harm that would come to such a vulnerable and unworldly child. I want to forgive you, Mum. But I cant, not yet. Perhaps writing this story will do it. Perhaps I will feel the cathartic effect of getting it all down on paper and in doing so will find the place in my heart where forgiveness lies.

If its out there then it really happened. In some sense I feel disbelieved, not because anyone has ostensibly told me so, but because I have never had that experience of telling my story. I have never had anyone tell me it wasnt your fault, you were just a child. Maybe I should have told teachers, policemen and therapists. But thats not my way. I didnt want to be identified forevermore by crimes that were committed against me. There is no comfort in that. But there is some sense of comfort to be found in telling you , my readers . By telling you, and by being believed, I feel less alone with my story. You may never see my face, and I will never see yours, but I thank you in advance for any kind or sympathetic feelings you may have toward me. With the safety of anonymity comes a lack of inhibition. I am free to tell my story as it happened, without fear of judgement or looks of disbelief.

So here it is: my story.

PART ONE

CHAPTER ONE

I t was a hot summer in 1976. I was a confident, precocious yet nave eight-year-old, intelligent but unworldly. I grew up in what looked outwardly like the idyllic country village, chocolate box-like with its thatched cottages, central pond, horticultural shows, fetes, country fairs and festivals. My mother had married my father young, spending the next ten years producing five large, healthy babies with surprising regularity. He then left her to raise his large brood alone while he went on to start a new family in South Africa. We scarcely missed him. My two sisters, two brothers and I were brought up well enough, with little money but far from anything approaching poverty. We squabbled a lot but it was never serious. We also played together a great deal and enjoyed a large, bustling house overrun with pets of all sorts. Cats, dogs, hamsters and gerbils were our childhood companions. As children growing up in the country, we had no gangs, no places to hang out, no youth clubs, shopping malls or community centres. Pets, reading, one small TV and the immense Dorset countryside filled our summer holidays.

For children such as us, the country events the fairs and fetes were an exciting spectacle, a day of excitement where we could gamble our pennies on ferret races, and steal sips from our parents squashy plastic glasses filled with beer or cider.

It was late summer, almost time for us to return to school after the long break. I was particularly looking forward to a county show that was to take place on the final weekend of the holiday. My granny, as payment for my spending a whole day helping to weed her garden, had paid me a wage of two pounds. This was a huge sum to a child in 1976, and I had already a vague plan of how I would spend it on the coming Saturday at the county show. I had worked out a little rule in my head for the spending of money at these sorts of events: I would spend some on food while I was there, some on playing games or entertainment at the event, and I would spend some on something to take home. This had actually been my grannys rule and I had simply copied it. I liked the rule. It made me feel like nothing had been missed out. Two whole pounds would mean I would have plenty to spend on each type of attraction. Probably, I would start with an ice cream or lolly, lots and lots of turns at picking straws or playing cards to win prizes, and enough left to find an interesting souvenir on one of the bric-a-brac stalls.

After lunch on that Saturday, my mother bundled all five children into the Triumph Dolomite four in the back and my eldest sister, as always, in the front. At the grand age of eleven, only she was allowed this privilege. She was also the only one to wear a seatbelt. This is not because Mum didnt enforce a seatbelt rule in the back of the car, but simply because there werent any. In 1976 most cars, ours included, werent even fitted with rear seatbelts.

The car never started first time. My mother always had to choke it something that I always thought sounded horrible. I imagined she was strangling the car to make it behave, and the rattling, scraping noises it made while she pumped the accelerator only reinforced this image.

It was a loud and argumentative trip to the horticultural show. We were always a loud family, never demure or particularly refined. I remember this trip well because my older sister was not too pleased about the fact that I had a whole two pounds to spend whereas she and my other siblings had only 50p. My mother had given this gift to all four other children. I didnt receive the 50p from my mother because of the two pounds given to me by my grandmother. So if anyone had a right to feel hard done by, it should have been me.