Scott G. Howard - A Love Undeniable, a Life Unforgettable

A Memoir

By Scott G.Howard

A Love Undeniable, A LifeUnforgettable

Copyright 2017 by ScottG. Howard

All rights reserved. Thisbook was self-published by the author, Scott G. Howard. No part ofthis book may be reproduced in any form by any means without theexpress permission of the author. This includes reprints, excerpts,photocopying, recording, or any future means of reproducingtext.

Published in the UnitedStates by Steele Creek Press

Editor: SharonEldridge

Cover Design: YazeedAtiya

ISBN: 978-1-63587-197-5

A Love Undeniable, A LifeUnforgettable

The support of family is invaluable,and I would like to thank Chriss parents, Lisa & John, Julie,and Debbie. Thanks also to my former co-workers at Eric Mower andAssociates and Chriss former co-workers at Office Environments. Aspecial thank you goes out to truly amazing people like LaurieRosenthal, R.N., Maureen Bahr, R.N., Dr. Michael Livingston, Dr.Rob Isaacs, Marge Brokaw, Betty & Frank, Veda & Bill,Jessica & Chad, Heidi & Adam, Joanie, Jake, Rick, Eva, Lee,Gene, Matt, Sue, Lane, Cindy, and Barry.

And finally: thank you, Elizabeth. Forbelieving in me, when I wasnt sure that I believed in myselfanymore, and for helping me to find the inner strength that Ineeded to be able to write this memoir. Thanks for patientlylistening to my many stories about Chris, and for nudging me tomove forward and share those stories with others so that they mightbe inspired by her tremendous courage and strength. For all of thatI am eternally grateful.

There are times in lifesjourney when someone special crosses paths with yours. Its notalways apparent why that happens. Is it coincidence? Serendipity?Or is there some deeper purpose, which could take many years toreveal itself?

This memoir is aboutsomeone special: Chris. Its about the twenty-three years that Iwas a part of her life, the sixteen years that we were together,our many adventures, and the challenges and obstacles that we facedalong the way, including a very rare type of bone cancer. Itsabout the path through life that I traveled as her best friend,husband and caregiver. Its about the laughter and the tears. Andits about moving on in a world without her.

This book is dedicated to hermemory.

It was severe like atfirst sight. That was a funny phrase that Chris and I used manytimes over the years, and I have to give her credit for creatingit. But it was true. I really, really liked Chris Conlon that veryfirst time that I laid eyes on her.

Chris came into my life inan ironic way on that overcast, chilly, damp night in earlyNovember 1991. I was twenty-three years old, and I was married toLaura. My wife had planned a social outing for us to meet up with aco-worker from the commercial office furniture dealership, StevensOffice Interiors, where she had been working for a few months.Laura had previously worked with me at a retail furniture store,Dunk & Bright Furniture, and thats how we had met a yearearlier. Laura and I had one of those whirlwind romances: dating,getting engaged and then getting married in only tenmonths.

I had never dated much incollege, and not at all in high school. Other than a few dates withanother female co-worker at Dunk & Bright, I didnt have a lotof experience with women. I had always looked longingly at girls inhigh school and college, but was shy and just a bit too introvertedall those years ago, and never seemed to be able to work up thecourage to ask any of them out. So, when Laura showed an interestin me after only working with me for a few weeks, I latched ontoher attention.

My sister Julie was alsoexperiencing a whirlwind romance at that same time, and she gotmarried to her husband Norman that same year, after dating him foronly ten months too. Her wedding was in June in Saratoga Springs,NY, and mine was in September in Syracuse, NY, where we had grownup. Since I was the baby brother, and the only boy in a family withthree girls, I think that I felt some sort of obligation to getmarried and maybe have children to carry on the family name. Atleast thats what I told myself at the time.

Our double date that nightwas a round of mini golf, a comfortable and easy social setting fora first time get-together. I still remember the name of that place,all these years later: Bee A Sport, in Baldwinsville, a smallcommunity just west of Syracuse, down the New York State Thruway.When Laura and I arrived at Bee A Sport, we met up with Chris andher fianc, Eric.

I think that most guyswould have noticed how attractive Chris was. She had chocolatebrown eyes and long chestnut brown hair. She also had a nice figureand she was tall five-foot-nine. Chris wasntdrop-dead-gorgeous-like-a-supermodel attractive, but she waspretty-girl-next-door attractive. Eric was tall, himself over sixfeet and wore glasses. Chris and Eric made a cute couple, Iguess, and at least they were height compatible. They had beendating off and on for several years since high school, and they hadplans to get married in May of the following year.

Timing in life sure can bea funny thing. The irony of the timing in meeting Chris was that,in some ways, I wished that I had met her a year earlier. I recallthinking that night that if I had met Chris even just a few monthssooner, I dont know if I would have still gone through with themarriage to Laura. Chris had that kind of immediate impact on me,and there was something about her vibrant personality thatcaptivated me and sparked something inside of me. Chris wasanimated at times that night, but she was also laidback, friendly,easy to talk to, an entertaining storyteller, and she had a greatsense of humor. She had an interesting mix of qualities thatappealed to me.

While Laura and I droveback to our apartment after the double date was over, I thoughtabout our evening, and I thought about Chris. My initial impressionwas that she seemed pretty cool, and I was looking forward tolearning more about her. I dont recall many more details aboutthat night other than feeling like something significant had justhappened in my life, although, at the time, I couldnt quitecomprehend why it felt that way to me.

***

Over the next severalmonths, I started to learn a lot more about Chris. She had beenborn in Pittsburgh and had lived there until the age of six, whenher family moved to Syracuse. Her father had worked for GeneralElectric a company that, at that point in time, manufactured andrepaired televisions and he had received a job transfer, whichhad brought their family to Central New York.

Since she had been born inPittsburgh, Chris sometimes used funny words like ahr, yinz,gumband, dahntahn, Stillers and worsh rag. Those words areall a part of a special language called Pittsburghese,* theregional dialect that is unique to Pittsburgh and that part ofwestern Pennsylvania. It could be funny to hear someone speakPittsburghese, but I learned to speak a little bit of it, myself.In time, I learned to identify not only the accent, but also theuse of those words and phrases, and eventually it became a deadgiveaway whenever I met someone from that part ofPennsylvania.

Chris had graduated fromThe Art Institute of Pittsburgh. Ever since she was a little girl,she had always wanted to be an interior designer. Choosing a schoolin Pittsburgh saved Chris quite a bit of money for college expensesbecause she could live with her grandmother and uncle in the housewhere Chriss mother had grown up in, rather than having to payroom and board on campus at a typical college in some other city.These living arrangements spoke partly to the thriftiness andfrugality that Chris, her mother and her grandmother had all livedby throughout their lives. Chris was raised that way. It was in herblood to not spend too much money on herself, and so she lived lifemodestly. Her uncle also let her work for him part-time, helpinghim at his small business with clock and lock repair.