Tracy Stecker - 5 Survivors: Personal Stories of Healing from PTSD and Traumatic Events

T HIS BOOK REPRESENTS A LABOR OF LOVE. I remember the idea of publishing peoples stories of trauma and recovery tickling me for months. I am not an author, however, so I batted the idea away as quickly as it came. Yet it kept coming back.

In my work I regularly talk to soldiers returning from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Although I trained as a clinician, I primarily conduct research developing and investigating ways to increase the seeking of mental health treatment by those who would benefit from it. This means that I frequently come in contact with individuals severely in need of help who do not receive it. As a researcher, I focus on data, not stories. Yet some of the stories I heard haunted me.

My life changed the day I formally decided to record some of those stories. You might wonder how someone trained as a psychologist, in the roles of both clinician and researcher, could possibly make such a radical shift. Ill tell you how. Clinicians do not become their patients or clients. We embrace the moment in the session, but it does not change us. This is even more true for researchers. We see data and patterns, not people. In choosing to tell these stories, I embraced trauma intimately. The result was fantastically heart wrenching.

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that develops after exposure to an extremely traumatic stressor involving actual or threatened death or serious injury. The response to the stressor must involve intense fear, helplessness, or horror. Characteristic symptoms resulting from the exposure include (1) reexperiencing, in the form of flashbacks or nightmares; (2) avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma; and (3) persistent increased arousal.

A frequent consequence of PTSD is that the individual becomes intensely uncomfortable, both physically and psychologically, when exposed to triggers that remind him or her of the traumatic event. Examples of triggers may include anniversaries, weather, weapons, or stories that are similar. These triggers tend to be persistently avoided. The individuals may make a constant effort to avoid situations, thoughts, or feelings they might associate with the trauma. The avoidance may be severe enough that it resembles amnesia regarding aspects of the traumatic event. Associated with this avoidance is a numbness or general lack of responsiveness to other aspects of life. For example, many wives of soldiers returning from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan report that their spouses changed during the war. A common description is that the couple used to have fun together but that the returning partner no longer seems to experience fun and is not interested in engaging in playful activities.

Along with this numbness is an associated hyperarousal or hypervigilance (always being on the alert). These same wives report that although their husbands used to be fun, now they are more concerned about weapons and locking doors at night. Marked outbursts of anger are common among individuals suffering from PTSD. Symptoms of hyperarousal or hypervigilance could include difficulty falling or staying asleep, outbursts of anger and irritability, difficulty concentrating, and exaggerated startle response.

Many individuals suffering from exposure to traumatic events do not run around talking about their trauma. I repeat this point because these five survivors were courageous enough to share their stories. The diagnostic handbook for physicians and mental health providers gives the following information about avoiding stimuli associated with trauma:

Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness as indicated by three or more of the following:

(a) efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma

(b) efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma

(c) inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma

(d) markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities

(e) feeling of detachment or estrangement from others

(f) restricted range of affect (unable to have loving feelings)

(g) sense of foreshortened future

There are a couple of things you must understand before reading these stories of survival from trauma and traumatic experiences. These survivors shared their stories with me out of a desperate need to heal and to be helpful to others who have experienced trauma or who love someone who has experienced trauma. In my position, I am all too aware of how many of you out there silently suffer from traumatic experiences, and this book is for you. The individuals in this collection told the stories of their own need to heal and help. They were not paid, and talking about their lives was not easy. You will notice that trust is not a key characteristic among individuals who have experienced trauma, yet these courageous five were brave enough to trust me to tell you their stories. And the process was painful. I am honored to have been part of this work. I loved every second talking to these people and writing their stories. For the first time in my career, I felt blessed. I knew I was being given a tremendous opportunity. It was a gift I now hand over to you. I hope you all appreciate, as I do, the effort it took for these five to share.