Aphrodite T. Matsakis - Loving someone with PTSD: a practical guide to understanding and connecting with your partner after trauma

Aphrodite T. Matsakis, PhD, is an internationally recognized expert in trauma and the author of several books dealing with traumatic reactions, including I Cant Get Over It!, Trust After Trauma, The Rape Recovery Handbook, and Vietnam Wives: Women and Children Facing the Challenge of Living with Veterans with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Matsakis has over thirty-five years of experience working with veterans, abused persons, and other trauma survivors; has taught at several major universities; and has conducted dozens of seminars for trauma survivors and trauma therapists.

Aphrodite T. Matsakis has once again captured the essence of the experience of individuals living with PTSD. This time, she has focused on helping those who love survivors understand the complexities and nuances of the issue. Matsakis has skillfully laid out key communication skills to utilize, as well as the common pitfalls to avoid in order to create trusting relationships. As a clinical social worker specializing in trauma therapy, I will recommend this book to the couples and individuals with whom I work. In addition, as a professor teaching graduate students, I know my students will benefit from Matsakiss expertise and techniques.

Eileen A. Dombo, PhD, LICSW, clinical social worker, Washington, DC, and assistant professor at the National Catholic School of Social Service, The Catholic University of America

For the past two decades, Aphrodite T. Matsakis has been helping people understand and cope with post-traumatic difficulties. In her latest book, Loving Someone with PTSD, she turns her focus to the survivors relationship with the intimate partner. As always, Matsakiss advice is rock solid, down-to-earth, and immediately applicable. Bolstered by thought-provoking questionnaires and exercises, she guides the reader to create a safer, more authentic relationship that will sustain both survivor and loved one. This book will benefit everyone who cares about someone who has been touched by trauma.

Don R. Catherall, PhD, professor of clinical psychiatry and behavioral sciences, Feinberg School of Medicine, Northwestern University, and author of Emotional Safety

Those who love and care for PTSD sufferers feel ignored and mistreated. The caregivers often suffer silently, not knowing what to think or what to do. Aphrodite T. Matsakis has done a magnificent job describing a loved ones distress when trying to help and cope with a partners PTSD. The author covers issues such as the feeling of helplessness, not only in the PTSD survivors, but in the comforters. Matsakis explains PTSD symptoms, how difficult it is to communicate with a PTSD sufferer, and psychological triggers that may drive a survivor into a rage. She also shows readers how to cope with a survivors panic attacks, addictions, suicidal thinking, alcoholism, and drug addiction. She describes common therapies and lists the right questions to ask a person in pain and in despair. Loving Someone with PTSD is a stunning achievement, a beautifully written book that flows from the heart with simplicity and clarity. It will not only save relationshipsit will save lives.

Allen R. Kates, MFAW, BCECR, author CopShock: Surviving Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

A helpful guide for people seeking practical advice when their relationship is falling apart under the stress of trauma. Survivors and those who love and care for them will discover new ways to strengthen and deepen their relationships and reverse the destructive effects of post-traumatic stress.

Stephen Joseph, PhD, author of What Doesnt Kill Us: The New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2013 by Aphrodite Matsakis

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup; Text design by Michele Waters-Kermes;

Acquired by Melissa Kirk; Edited by Susan LaCroix

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Matsakis, Aphrodite.

Loving someone with PTSD : a practical guide to understanding and connecting with your partner after trauma / Aphrodite T. Matsakis.

pages cm. -- (The New Harbinger loving someone series)

Summary: There are many books written for those suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but few written for the people who love them. In Loving Someone with PTSD, a renowned trauma expert and author of I Cant Get Over It! presents concrete skills and strategies for the partners of those with PTSD. Readers will increase their understanding of the signs and symptoms of PTSD, improve their communication skills with their loved ones, set realistic expectations, and work to create a healthy environment for both their loved one and themselves. In addition, they will learn to manage their own grief, helplessness, and fear regarding their partners condition-- Provided by publisher.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-60882-786-2 (pbk.) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-787-9 (pdf e-book) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-788-6 (epub) 1. Post-traumatic stress disorder. 2. Post-traumatic stress disorder--Patients--Family relationships. 3. Couples--Psychology. I. Title.

RC552.P67M366 2014

616.8521--dc23

2013039163