Diane England - The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How to Support Your Partner and Keep Your Relationship Healthy

My clients often say, Weve been through this. Things get better for a week or a month, but then were right back to where we started. Many self-help books provide a feel-good experience by giving a quick infusion of empathy. Yes, its very important to feel that you are not alone. However, this book goes far beyond this, providing tools for lasting change.

Carl G. Hindy, PhD, Coauthor of If This Is Love, Why Do I Feel So Insecure?

The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship is truly the toolbox the partner of a PTSD sufferer needs if he or she wants to help save the partner, their relationship, and their children from the potentially devastating consequences of this disorder.

Jesse J. Harris, PhD, Colonel, U.S Army Retired, Former Social Work Consultant for the Army Surgeon General; Professor and Dean Emeritus, School of Social Work, University of Maryland, Baltimore; and a Recipient of the National Association of Social Workers Lifetime Achievement Award

Full of sound information as well as useful case studies and exercises, this book is going to be a welcome road map for the partner who wants to support a loved one with PTSDa must read.

Colonel Robert I. Miller, MD, Commander of Malcolm Grow Medical Center, Andrews Air Force Base, Maryland

This is a book overflowing with information, sound advice, and exercises to help you turn what might seem like a tragedy into a springboard for personal and relationship growth.

Ren J. Robichaux, PhD, LCSW, Colonel, U.S. Army Retired, Former Army Social Work Officer and Chief, Behavioral Health Division, U.S. Army Medical Command

The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship should be required reading for everyone who knows someone affected by PTSD. It is a treasure chest of tools that can be used for life to help oneself, their partner, and their children understand and deal with the devastating consequences of PTSD.

Richard Miller, PhD, Clinical Psychologist and Developer of Integrative Restoration (iRest), a program that helps PTSD sufferers heal or better manage PTSD symptoms

A MUST-READ book for behavioral health professionals, as well as anyone who has, or might have, a partner who is suffering with PTSD. This very well-written book offers vital help and hope to deal with PTSD in relationshipsin a most realistic, practical, clear, and immediately applicable manner.

Gregory C. Meyer, D.S.W., Colonel, U.S. Army Retired, Former Social Work Consultant, HQ 7th Medical Command, U.S. Army, Europe

Dr. Diane England has written a comprehensive book that will answer all of the questions that arise when in a relationship with someone affected by PTSD.

David Riklan, Founder, SelfGrowth.com

Diane Englands book, The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship, provides extraordinary service to couples who have suffered in silence from this devastating disorder. Now, with Dianes help, couples can fully understand the nature of posttraumatic stress, how it affects their relationship, and what to do about it. If you love someone with post-traumatic stress, get this book and begin following the advice today!

Nina Atwood, MEd, LPC, Author of Soul Talk: Powerful, Positive Communication for a Loving Partnership, and Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid

The Post
Traumatic
Stress
Disorder
Relationship

How to Support Your
Partner and Keep Your
Relationship Healthy

D IANE E NGLAND , P H D

Copyright 2009 by Diane England
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any
form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are
made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by
Adams Media, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-59869-997-0
ISBN 13: 978-1-59869-997-5
eISBN 13: 978-1-44051-393-0

Printed in the United States of America.

J I H G F E D C B A

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available from the publisher.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their product are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

Contents

An Introduction to
PTSD

Commonly Prescribed
Medications

Therapeutic
Approaches for PTSD

Finding the Right
Therapist for Your
Partner

More Possible Tools
for Your Loved One

What Are You Going
Through?

Take Care of Yourself
First

Change Your Thinking

Tools for a Better
Relationship

Coping with Painful
Realities

Meeting Your
Childrens Needs

Should You Stay?

Acknowledgments

A book is never the product of one persons efforts, and so it was with The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship. I wish to thank my acquisitions editor at Adams Media, Katrina Schroeder, for providing me the opportunity to write a book I could believe in, especially after having worked with so many fine military families at a base in Italyincluding during part of the Afghanistan and Iraq Wars. I want to thank my development editor, Katie Corcoran Lytle, who improved the manuscript immensely through reorganization of the content, tightening of my writing, and tweaking of language. I also want to thank Paula Munier, Director of Product Innovation at Adams Media and former President of the New England Mystery Writers of America, for referring me to Katrina.

Furthermore, I extend my gratitude to Vaughn Hardacker, a mystery writer and former Marine who fought in Vietnam and understood PTSDs often horrific legacy, for first introducing me to Paula Munier.

I am grateful for the friendship of Gail Hartin, who paved the way for me to work with military families overseas. I appreciated the opportunity to work with Debbie Fabiani, who was first a fellow professional and later a friend who made it possible for me to come to know Italy and some of its people in ways I couldnt have otherwise. I feel blessed to have known someone like Phyllis Marvin, who could just as easily have retired from the Red Cross a few years back, but instead chose to be a grandmother figure for our young military members in Iraq.

I thank Dr. Savan Wilson, who took me into her home in Italy for two months after I suffered what for me was a traumatic eventplus how can I thank all of you who gathered around me regularly during this time? I also appreciated how my boss, Major Marc Silverstein, and my coworkers were there to lend a helping hand, too.