Praise for The End of Fear
Life is trouble. Only death is not, Zorba the Greek reminded us, and part of that trouble is fear. Some scientists credit fear with our earliest survival as humans, for fear made us more vigilant and therefore more likely to survive and reproduce. But fear can also smother, oppress, and overwhelm us. The Schaubs have written a masterpiece for reducing fear and finding balance in ones life one of the most elegant, clearest, and effective treatises available.
Larry Dossey, M.D., author of The Power of Premonitions
Into the ever-expanding dialogue about dealing with the fear that is the universal human condition, the Schaubs have gently dropped a startling gem: a warm, personal guide to a new way of being in the world. Their message is one of support and wisdom, presented with such honesty and modesty that the reader is well advised to go back to their understanding counsel again and again. If you thought one small book could not change your life, read The End of Fear... and be glad.
Richard Grossman, author of Choosing & Changing and The Tao of Emerson
Using powerful stories, this book is a message for our time. It is a clear and easy-to-read guide for transforming fear into peace.
Frank Lipman, M.D., author of SPENT: End Exhaustion and Feel Great Again
Through Taoist ways of being, fear can only be viewed as half of the yin/yang Tai Ji whole. This book is a deeply affecting, personal journey of the authors accounts of their transcendence from this human condition. In order to arrive at a balance in life of potential peace and harmony, and to fulfill the wish for love and joy in daily living, we must learn to embrace fear as a moving spiritual path, and see the danger as opportunity in perpetual human growth.The End of Fearis the beginning of wisdom, to guide us in the real world we live in.
Chungliang Al Huang, president, Living Tao Foundation; author, Embrace Tiger, Return to Mountain; co-author, Tao: The Watercourse Way
As spiritual seekers and experienced psychotherapists, the authors take us on a fascinating journey to explore our vulnerability of being human. Through their travels to study art, world religions, and healing, Bonney and Richard weave stories and personal narratives together in this easy-to-read book that brings to the reader profound insights into attaining inner peace and self healing.
Susan Luck, R.N., Medical Anthropologist, Director of Earthrose Institute
The End of Fearis a compelling yet peaceful read that distills some very complex issues down to core points that in turn expand to bring understanding to a universal struggle that all humans face. As a psychiatrist and therapist, it gave me deeper insights into my work, clarifying a number of concerns that I commonly see in my own patients.
Ernesto Ferran Jr., M.D., Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, NYU School of Medicine
the
end
of
fear
A Spiritual Path for Realists
Richard Schaub, Ph.D.
with
Bonney Gulino Schaub, R.N., M.S.
HAY HOUSE, INC.
Carlsbad, California New York City
London Sydney Johannesburg
Vancouver Hong Kong New Delhi
Copyright 2009 by Richard and Bonney Schaub
Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse.com Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au Published and distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk Published and distributed in the Republic of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.za Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast: www.raincoast.com Published in India by: Hay House Publishers India: www.hayhouse.co.in
Design: Tricia Breidenthal
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private useother than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviewswithout prior written permission of the publisher.
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Schaub, Richard, Ph. D.
The end of fear : a spiritual path for realists / Richard Schaub with Bonney Gulino Schaub.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-1-4019-2184-2 (hardcover : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-1-4019-2185-9 (tradepaper : alk. paper) 1. Fear. 2. Fear--Religious aspects. I. Schaub, Bonney Gulino. II. Title.
BF575.F2S33 2009
201.615246--dc22
2008038749
ISBN: 978-1-4019-2184-2
12 11 10 09 4 3 2 1
1st edition, March 2009
Printed in the United States of America
To
Ava Grace,
Fiona Hope,
Lucinda Rose,
Marisol,
Aisha Krista,
and Kurt Andrew
Contents
I have written this book in the first person in order to openly show my own fears and vulnerabilities, but everything in it is also the work of my wife, Bonney Gulino Schaub, R.N., M.S. All the insights and practices here have been tested, retested, and refined in our work and in our relationship.
The people, events, and dialogues presented in this book are taken from our 30 years of practice as psychotherapists and imagery and meditation teachers. All identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals.
THE 3 A.M. MIND
The hunting dogs are playing in the courtyard, but
the rabbit will not escape them, no matter how fast
it may already be fleeing through the woods.
KAFKA
It was three oclock in the morning in a small hotel room in Paris, and I was wide-awake. We were supposed to fly home the next afternoon, but my wife, Bonney, had a severe and painful ear infection, and in the next room I could hear our pregnant daughter retching from her morning sickness. In my 3 a.m. mind, I imagined we would miss our flight and be stuck here, in these two small rooms in a foreign country, until our money ran out. Then it occurred to me that the unusual ache in my head, which Id had off and on since the day before, was a brain tumor. It was a remarkably clear and convincing thought.
I tried to go back to sleep, but some bad door in my mind had swung open and more fears came crowding in. I saw images of dead children crushed under bombed buildings, their frantic parents digging like animals to get to the bodies. I saw women in head scarves cover their faces and sob. I remembered that the ache in my head really was a tumorthat it wasnt just my mind playing tricks on meand then I told myself that couldnt be true, and then I realized that it was. I imagined myself disoriented, collapsing, lying unconscious on a Paris street while my wife and daughter begged for money in a corner of the Gare de Lyon train station.