Malinda Lo - Natural Selection

Kurra

Kurra is a planet of oceans and mountains, all vertical ascent or plunging drop to rock-strewn waves. Out on the water, floating cities spread like silver lattices over deep blue.

My family comes from the mountains, and thats where we live. My mother told me that her great-great-great-grandparents built our house. Its perched on the edge of the mountain called Isi Na, a ten-minute cable ride from Isinauru, Isi Na City, which is anchored to the mountain with long metallic ropes like a spiders web.

I stand at the edge of the deck, leaning against the glass and steel railing, and look out and away. I imagine Im a bird soaring high above the water, the islands tiny dots below. But there arent any birds herenot exactly. Not like on Earth.

I was born on Earth, not Kurra. Im not human, even though I try to be. My people, the Imria, think Im a little unusual because of that. They call me an Earthsider: as if Ive crossed a line, chosen a side. Gone native.

Be careful, Ama warns me. Dont lean too far over.

I look back at my parents seated at the table behind me. Im not going to fall, I say, irritated. Amas always telling me to stop doing things. I think all her years on Earth have dulled her Imrian sense of adventure.

Abaone of my fathersreaches for Amas hand as he says, Shell be fine. She has to learn how to watch out for herself.

Ada, my other father, glances over at me. Ada has heard Aba and Ama argue over this too many times to count, and lately hes been siding with Ama. Be careful, he tells me.

I sigh but pull back from the edge a bit as I look down toward the city. I see the bright sheen of it on the mountainside below, the buildings gleaming in the sun. I havent been to Isinauru in a week, and I wonder whats been going on at school. Im so isolated up here, cut off from my friends and their lives. Its startling to realize that I miss them, that Ive become part of their worldthis world.

Eight months ago, when Ama and I returned to Kurra after four years on Earth, I felt like a freak. I looked like a freak, dressed in my clothes from Earth that are totally weird here. I realized soon enough, though, that my Earthsider status was exciting as well as strange. We Imria have been going to Earth for so long, but Im the first one to be born there, to grow up there. On Earth, I had to keep all that secret, but here on Kurra, it makes me sort of a celebrity. I never expected that.

remember what it was like when you were her age? Aba says.

Of course, Ama replies, snorting. I was reckless.

And you survived, Ada says.

I only want whats best for her, Ama responds.

I stiffen. My parents have started in again on what they think I should do with my life. Its another old debate. I think they like arguing about it; they dont even seem to notice I can hear them.

We have to let her follow her interests, Aba says. He always says he wants me to be free to do what I want, but I know he really wants me to be a painter, like him. Ama wants me to be a scientistpreferably a geneticistlike her.

Only within the confines of her duties, Ama says. She knows that.

I dont see why we need to impose that on her, Aba objects.

Within the confines of her duties, our daughter can choose how she can best serve, Ada says. Hes never said flat out what he thinks I should be, but I know he wants me to be like him: a diplomat. Shes young. She has plenty of time to decide.

But Adas wrong. Im turning fifteen in a few days, and then I will have to make a choice. Who do I think I am? I will have to know by then.

Earth

When I was thirteen, at the end of eighth grade back on Earth, I went on a school-sponsored camping trip to the Coconino National Forest near Sedona, Arizona. I was at the Hunter Glen School then, a private academy outside Flagstaff, because I couldnt exactly live with Ama at Project Plato on Area 51. As far as her US government employers knew, I didnt even exist.

At Hunter Glen, the end-of-eighth-grade camping trip was kind of a legend. There were all these stories about kids wandering off in the mountains and falling down hidden ravines in the dark, but I suspected it was a bunch of crap. The Hunter Glen School did not take chances with their charges, especially when their parents paid so much to make sure they were safe.

On the hot Friday morning in May when we gathered in the Founders Hall parking lot to leave, I wasnt surprised to count five adult chaperonesour two science teachers, Ms. Lucas and Mr. Santos; two parents I didnt know; and a cook who was in charge of preparing all our meals. In addition to the five adults were the dozen members of the Nature Club, including myself. A special bus had been chartered to drive us to Coconino National Forest. It read SEDONA OUTDOOR ADVENTURES on the side and had tinted windows.

I dragged my gear over to Morgan Jacobsens and said, Somehow I dont think were going to experience much nature this weekend.

Morgan was my best friend. She had wavy blond hair and a perfect smile, and the only issue I had with her was her continuing obsession with Zach Montgomery, who was, in my opinion, a jerk. Morgan tossed her ponytail and shrugged. Id rather spend the weekend at the Four Seasons, anyway. Morgans parents were loaded. I wish you could come with us in June, she said.

Me too, I said, feeling depressed. Morgans birthday was in June, and her parents were taking her and her closest friends to Scottsdale for a girls spa weekend. I really wanted to go, but in June I was returning to Kurra with my mom.

Morgan gave me a sad smile and put her arm around my shoulders, hugging me briefly. Ill miss you! Dont forget to call. She thought I was moving to California, because thats what I had told her.

I wanted to lean into her, rest my head on her shoulder. Her hair smelled like strawberries. Okay, I kind of had a crush on Morgan. But I knew better than to ever bring that up. There were no out gay kids at Hunter Glen, and I didnt want to be the first. I knew there was nothing wrong with meImrians dont care about that stuffbut humans could be a little weird about it. I also knew there was no chance I was ever going to be able to call Morgan from Kurra. But I said, Ill try.

All right, everyone, lets get packed up and head to the mountains, said Ms. Lucas, consulting her clipboard as she moved down the line of students and their gear. I saw Zach roughhousing with his friend Brian on the edge of the parking lot, and I wished he wasnt coming. But of course he was. Zach was the only reason Morgan agreed to join Nature Club with me in the first place, and she was watching him out of the corner of her eye. Any second now, I knew Morgan was going to be hit with the Zach Effect. Shed get all moody and start whispering in my ear about how she didnt understand why he flirted with her all the time but never asked her out. I pulled away from Morgan before I sensed too much of what she was feeling.

Imrians can sense other peoples emotions through touch, which is great on Kurra, where thats part of everyday life, but on Earth it can lead to problems. Humans dont have this ability, which means theyre also not used to controlling how much emotion they express internally. One of the first things I had to learn on Earth was how to close myself off from sensing humans emotions so that I wouldnt become overwhelmed by them. But also, its not right for us to eavesdrop on their feelings without their consent. Thats one of the first things my parents taught me when I realized I was different from humans. I slip up sometimes, and it can be really tempting to do it, but I try not to.