John Vester - Wrong-Handed

Illustration by Ron Chironna

Testing. Testing. Kirk Luchtenlooper interview. Tape one, side one. OK, Kirk, just talk into the mike.

Thanks. Ahem. A blinding white disc glowed in the blackness, vibrating slightly, just like the Anti-Christ, which I had been watching religiously for over a month through my telescope.

With a click the light went out, and Dr. Smith pulled the opthalmoscope away from my eye. He gave me a clean bill of health. Gamma rays cant be focused by a lens, he explained. And besides, they cant get through the atmosphere. I should have known that.

OK, so on the one hand I was relieved for the sake of my retinas, although on the other hand this eliminated a little supporting evidence I was hoping for. But then, as the UFO crowd says, absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. I could hardly wait to confront Dr. Timothy Turner with my little discovery.

Whats the matter? Whyd you turn off the tape?

Kirk, why arent you sticking to the outline we gave you?

Oh, outlines, poutlines! Look, you guysre paying me a lot of money for my story, and this is the way I want it told.

But well just rewrite it all anyway.

I know, I know. But remember this: youre getting one hell of a scoop thanks to me so OK?

Whatever.

OK!

The observatory, one of many in Arizona, was a little newer, a little bigger, but otherwise nothing special. I worked in security, but you already know all that. Turner wasnt my boss, but he sure thought he was important. He never had time for me whenever I chased him down to discuss my ideas.

One day I caught him in the lobby over at Admin. Dr. Turner, I called out. He saw me and, I swear, he rolled his eyes. I hate that. I never understood his attitude. Youd think hed appreciate having someone on the security staff interested in astronomy. But he always treated me like a geek and a pest.

Well, Ive been called a geek before, but Turners not much to look at either. Sort of an old geek. Ill bet we share the Guinness record for longest mean time between dates. Sure hes a high mucky-muck at the observatory, but security is important too. And he must have thought so himself. Id recently seen his signature on requisitions for more security. Lots more.

Not right now, Kirk. Im late for a very important meeting. So it was going to be the White Rabbit routine today. Picture a skinny, myopic rabbit, with a briefcase instead of a pocket watch.

I followed him but he wouldnt slow down or look at me. I know what the comet is made of.

At that he stopped, his shoulders drooped and he turned slowly and looked at me, this smug little smile on his thin lips Jeez, he can be so condescending. Please spare me, Kirk. With every observatory on and over the Earth working on it, I doubt you could add anything. Go home. Let us handle this one.

So Im all, Yeah right And, without so much as a mother-may-I, he turns and heads down the hall to the elevators.

Well, I wasnt going to let him off the hook so easy this time. I shouted after him, Thats your answer? C.T. go home?

He walked over to me, grabbed me by the arm and marched me over to the nearest door. Opened it, dragged me inside, slammed the door, slammed his briefcase down on the desk. Not a rabbit anymore. Suddenly a myopic terrier.

Why did you say that, Kirk? What have you heard?

That cinched it. I knew I had himhed have to give me some respect now. Just as I opened my mouth to answer him, though, he went right on with his next questionyou ever know people like that?

Who has been talking to you?

Oh, God! It dawned on me. You think this is a security leak. Hey, remember me? I am security. No one said anything to me. I figured it out myself.

Noticeable relief. I realized later I should have been offended at that. Turner looked at the blackboard, went over to it and nervously fingered a piece of chalk. What have you figured out?

Contra-Terrene Matter Anti-Matter! Thats what its made of, isnt it?

A groan and the sound of chalk breaking. Gotcha! No offense taken after all, Doc. I knew you were a science fiction fan, Kirkthe accepted term is mirror matter.

Itll never catch on. Im right, though. Right?

Still really snooty, he said, It has caught on, where it matters. Among professionals. And yes. Youre right. How did you figure it out?

Simple, Doc. I noticed a lot of computer time lately spent analyzing data from Gamma Ray Observatory III. No papers on the subject being written. Extra security. Stuff you know?

He smiled a strange smile and looked straight at me for the first time. No hard evidence, but the right conclusion. He shook his head slowly in what? Disbelief? Envy? Disgust? You have no idea how we struggled with that damned comet before we thought to acquire and look at that gamma ray data.

You guys need to lighten up and read some science fiction. A good shot of Williamson or Niven and you would have made the leap sooner easier.

Turner harrumphed. Maybe. Its a bit lame at this point, I suppose, to claim that bodies of mirror matter just cant exist in our Universe. Absent-mindedly he began to doodle on the blackboard. He must have needed to talk, I dont know. But Turner never just talkedhe lectured. I watched him, feeling like a kid back at school. I knew I had stumbled into something over my head, but this was too good to miss, so I just held my breath and listened.

Everything about Comet 2097-1 is wrongwe all knew that. Its velocity is too high. It ignited too far out, but burns too dimly, even now, near Saturn. He made an X near a big circle. Weve barely got enough data to plot an orbit, but what we get makes no sense either. He drew more planets. The fact that it is composed of mirror matter will cause more panic than the real danger. He drew a slightly curved line from the X to the third little white circle from the Sun. Its going to come close. Damned close.

Thats where I phased out. (Seetee shock?) When I snapped out of it, Turner was sitting at the desk again, looking me in the eye. As people have come to suspect the exotic composition of the thing, they have agreed to keep quiet, for fear of starting a panic. But as for the comets trajectory Can you imagine how hard its going to be to keep a lid on that?

Impossible, I offered, in my best security guard macho voice.

Exactly. He got up and erased the blackboard thoughtfully, then sat down again. Its all so frustrating. If only they had launched the Polarimeter Observatory, then wed have known much sooner. If only we had a human presence on Mars, in the asteroid belt, or beyond, then wed have had more options, and better data, and sooner. If only the governments of the world had taken such things seriously long ago, then today we might have a defense strategy.

Defense?

Theyre all in disarray, the idiots. Their easy answers wont work, and there isnt enough time to mobilize anything that will. If only if only

I nodded and tried to look like I understood perfectly.

We dont know if the comet will hit or not. Theres still time for a good out-gassing to push it out of our path or in. All we can do is hope for the best.

Thats going to be real hard to sell in the burbs.

Impossible, Id guess. So we have to buy ourselves as much time as possible. Sure, well announce iteither when we re ready to, or when we have to

So there we were. Doctor Timothy Turner confiding in me, of all people. Pouring his heart out to me. But there was never any warmth in his eyes. Just a slight smirk, like he was eliminating a nagging problem. It was spooky. Then he shot me a look.