Edmund Cooper - A Far Sunset

The star ship blew itself to glory, as the three of them knew itwould, on the thirty-fifth day of their imprisonment in the donjons ofBaya Nor. If they had shared the same cell, they might have been able tohelp each other; but since the day of their capture they had been keptseparate. Their only contacts had been the noia who lived with each ofthem and the guards who brought their food.

The explosion was like an earthquake. It shook the very foundations ofBaya Nor. The god-king consulted his council, the council consulted theoracle; and the oracle consulted the sacred bones, shivered, went into atrance and emerged from it a considerable time later to announce thatthis was the signal of Oruri, that Oruri had marked Baya Nor down forgreatness, and that the coming of the strangers was a favourable omen.

The strangers themselves, however, knew nothing of these deliberations.They were incarcerated with their noias until they were rationalenoughwhich meant until they had learned the languageto be admitted tothe presence of the god-king.

Unfortunately the god-king, Enka Ne the 609th, was not destined to makethe acquaintance of all of them; for the destruction of the star shipwas a very traumatic experience. Each of the strangers wore anelectronic watch, each of them had been able to keep a very accuratecalendar. And each of them knew to the minute when the main computerwould finally admit to itself that the crew had either abandoned theship or were unable to return. At which point the main computerforreasons obvious to the people who had built the vesselwas programmed toprogramme destruction. Which meant simply that the controls were liftedfrom the atomic generator. The rest would take care of itself.

Each of the strangers in his cell began a private countdown, at the sametime hoping that one or more of the other nine members of the crew wouldreturn in time. None of them did. And so the star ship was transformedinto a mushroom cloud, a circle of fire burnt itself out in the northernforests of Baya Nor, and a small glass-lined crater remained tocommemorate the event.

In the donjons of Baya Nor, the second engineer went insane. He curledhimself up into a tight foetal ball. But since he was not occupying auterus, and since there was no umbilical cord to supply him withsustenance, and since the noia who was his only companion knew nothingat all about intravenous feeding, he eventually starved himself todeath.

The chief navigator reacted with violence. He strangled his noia andthen contrived to hang himself.

Oddly enough, the only member of the crew who managed to remain sane andsurvive was the star ships psychiatrist. Being temperamentally inclinedto pessimism, he had spent the last fifteen days of his captivitypsychologically conditioning himself.

And so, when the donjons trembled, when his noia cowered under the bedand when in his minds eye he saw the beautiful shape of the star shipconvulsed instantly into a great ball of fire, he repeated to himselfhypnotically: My name is Poul Mer Lo. I am an alien. But this planetwill be my home. This is where I must live and die. This is where I mustnow belong My name is Poul Mer Lo. I am an alien. But this planetwill be my home. This is where I must live and die. This is where I mustnow belong

Despite the tears that were running unnoticed down his cheeks, Poul MerLo felt extraordinarily calm. He looked at his noia, crouching under thebed. Though he did not yet perfectly understand the language, herealized that she was muttering incantations to ward off evil spirits.

Suddenly, he felt a strange and tremendous sense of pity.

Mylai Tui, he said, addressing her formally. There is nothing tofear. What you have heard and felt is not the wrath of Oruri. It issomething that I can understand, although I cannot explain it to you. Itis something very sad, but without danger for you or your people.

Mylai Tui came out from under the bed. In thirty-five days and nightsshe had learned a great deal about Poul Mer Lo. She had given him herbody, she had given him her thoughts, she had taught him the tongue ofBaya Nor. She had laughed at his awkwardness and his stupidity. She hadbeen surprised by his tenderness, and amazed by his friendship.Nobodybut nobodyever acknowledged friendship for a simple noia.

Except the stranger, Poul Mer Lo.

My lord weeps, she said uncertainly. I take courage from the words ofPoul Mer Lo. But his sadness is my sadness. Therefore I, too, mustweep.

The psychiatrist looked at her, wondering how it would be possible toexpress himself in a language that did not appear to consist of morethan a few hundred different words. He touched his face and wassurprised to find tears.

I weep, he said calmly, because of the death of a great and beautifulbird. I weep because I am far from the land of my people, and I do notthink that I shall ever return He hesitated. But I rejoice, MylaiTui, that I have known you. And I rejoice that I have discovered thepeople of Baya Nor.

The girl looked at him. My lord has the gift of greatness, she saidsimply. Surely the god-king will look on you and be wise.

That evening, when at last he managed to get to sleep, Poul Mer Lo hadnightmares. He dreamed that he was encased in a transparent tube. Hedreamed that there was a heavy hoar frost all over his frozen body,covering even his eyes, choking his nostrils, sealing his stiffimmovable lips. He dreamed also that he dreamed.

And in the dream within a dream there were rolling cornfields,rippling towards the horizon as far as the eye could see. There was ablue sky in which puffy white clouds drifted like fat good-naturedanimals browsing lazily on blue pastures.

There was a dwellinga house with walls of whitened mud and crookedtimbers and a roof of smoky yellow reeds. Suddenly he was inside thehouse. There was a table. His shoulder was just about as high as thetable. He could see delicious mountains of foodall the things that heliked to eat best.

There were toys. One of them was a star ship on a launching pad. You setthe ship on the launcher, cranked the little handle as far back as youcould, then pressed the Go button. And off went the star ship like asilver bird.

The good giant, his father, said: Happy birthday, my son.

The wicked witch, his mother, said: Happy birthday, darling.

And suddenly he was back in the transparent tube, with the hoar frostsealing his lips so that he could neither laugh nor cry.

There was terror and coldness and loneliness.

The universe was nothing but a great ball of nothing, punctured byburning needle points, shot through with the all-embracing mirage ofstillness and morion, of purpose and irrelevance.

He had never known that silence could be so profound, that darknesscould be so deep, that starlight could be so cold.

The universe dissolved.

There was a city, and in the city a restaurant, and in the restaurant aspecimen of that vertical biped, the laughing mammal. She had hair thecolour of the cornfields he remembered from childhood. She had eyes thatwere as blue as the skies of childhood. She had beautiful lips, and thesounds that came from them were like nothing at all in his childhood.Above all, she emanated warmth. She was the richness of high summer, thepromise of a great sweet harvest.

She said: So the world is not enough? It was a question to which shealready knew the answer.

He smiled. You are enough, but the world is too small.

She toyed with her drink. One last question, the classic question, andthen well forget everything except this night Why do you really haveto go out to the stars?

He was still smiling, but the smile was now mechanical. He didnt know.There is the classic answer, he said evenly. Because they are there.