Ben Thompson - Badass: Ultimate Deathmatch: Skull-Crushing True Stories of the Most Hardcore Duels, Showdowns, Fistfights, Last Stands, Suicide Charges, and Military Engagements of All Time

Also by Ben Thompson

BADASS: THE BIRTH OF A LEGEND BADASS

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.

T EDDY R OOSEVELT

M ACHIAVELLI

SPEARS, SWORDS, AND FIRE.

Cyrus the Great forges the mighty Persian Empire with warm blood, cold steel, and a few thousand psychotic rampaging camels.

Old-school demolition-derby-style aquatic warfare as the Athenian commander Themistocles leads the shattered remnants of his fleet in a steel cage deathmatch against a vastly superior Persian armada.

Outnumbered two to one by angry drunken Spartans, the citizen-soldiers of Thebes make a final desperate stand to defend their homeland.

The hardcore elephant cavalry of the invincible Carthaginian Hannibal crosses the Alps, and ravages the Roman countryside, and only one Roman commander is capable of rising to face the challenge.

Three full-strength Roman legions march into a scary-as-hell German forest looking to beat up on the native tribesmen and steal all their toys. Nobody marches out.

When the Romans looted the home of the Celtic tribal leader Boudicca and plundered her lands, they didnt realize they were crossing a woman who would stop at nothing to rain bloody vengeance down upon them.

The mightiest warlord in China attempts a full-scale invasion of the southern kingdoms, seeking to crush all opposition to his rule with one overwhelming blow. Hijinks ensue.

Historys most underappreciated general is ordered to conquer the entire Vandal Empire with a couple thousand Byzantine warriors and a left ball the size of Carthage. He does.

BROADSWORDS, BATTLE AXES, AND HEAVY EFFIN CAVALRY.

The rightful heir to the throne of Islam does battle with the bloodthirsty caliph who murdered his family and usurped the crown.

Axe-swinging Viking maniac Ivar the Boneless leads the largest Norse armada in history across the pond in a berserker-laden invasion that would permanently change the genetic makeup of the people of Britain.

Two of the Middle Ages most hardcore warriorsSaladin and Richard the Lionheartsquare off in an epic war to determine the fate of the Holy Land.

One superpissed samurai grabs his katana, jumps in a rowboat, and takes on an entire Mongol invasion fleet by himself.

William Wallace and Robert the Bruce set out to prove that short kilts and Longshanks dont mix.

One valiant knight attempts to avenge his wifes honor in the only way he deems appropriateone-on-one judicial combat to the death against the man accused of raping his beloved.

A routine dispute over the succession of the French crown stirs up a venomous hatred so intense that it takes a century of wanton destruction to settle the score.

An onslaught of fearless Turkish warriors hurl themselves defiantly at the walls of Christendoms greatest city in an effort to snuff out the last vestiges of the Roman Empire once and for all.

MUSKETS, SABERS, WOODEN SHIPS, AND A DOUBLE LOAD OF CANISTER FIRE.

How the Mapuche warriors of modern-day Chile became the only indigenous South American population to resist the domination of the Spanish conquistadors (hint: it involves violence).

While Japanese armies cleave their way through the Korean peninsula on a mission of conquest, one lone Korean admiral defiantly leads a tiny fleet on a relentless campaign to cripple the invaders navy.

Off the coast of Africa, one British East India Company merchant captain fights a desperate sea battle against two of the oceans most merciless pirates.

Oppressed by British colonial forces and deprived of her rightful crown, one Indian warrior princess rises in revolt, riding into combat with a sword in each hand and her baby strapped to her back.

The decisive battle of the American Civil War featured a bayonet charge led by a Maine schoolteacher and one of the biggest all-out suicide charges in the history of combat.

Two dozen samurai warriors fight a decapitation-infused sword battle through the blood-splattered halls of a small teahouse in a real-life scene akin to something out of a Kurosawa movie.

At a critical turning point in the Franco-Prussian War, a fifty-six-year-old Prussian hardass personally leads two regiments of cavalry sabers-first into French infantry, artillery, and Gatling guns. It doesnt end the way you might think.

One hundred thirty-nine British engineers with single-shot rifles face down nearly five thousand fearless Zulu warriors with nothing to lose. In one day of fighting, more Victoria Crosses are awarded by the British government than would be issued in the entirety of World War I.

FIGHTER PLANES, HEAVY MACHINE GUNS, AND BALL-CRUSHING BATTLE TANKS.

Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday clean up the outlaw-infested streets of Tombstone, Arizona, with a short, ultra-deadly burst of buckshot and .45-caliber ammunition.

Facing a massive onslaught of ten thousand Afghan tribal warriors, the twenty-one Sikh defenders of a small mountain fortress vow to fight to the last man, with the last bullet.

Eight hundred psycho Aussie horsemen attempt the last great cavalry charge in history, rushing across an open plain toward trenches packed with machine guns and artillery.

The largest air battle in history rages in the skies above Britain as a few brave Spitfire pilots attempt to thwart an imminent full-scale Nazi invasion of England.

A lone Russian sergeant and his understrength platoon defend a fortified Stalingrad apartment building against the entire German Sixth Army.

With the American invasion of the Philippines depending on their success, seven heroic destroyer captains hurl their tiny vessels against the largest battleship fleet ever put to sea.

The Allies attempt to back-door their way into Germany with the largest airborne operation ever attempted, only to learn theyve just dropped their paratroopers on top of two elite SS Panzer divisions.

Badly wounded and pinned down behind enemy lines, with a squad of Germans quickly closing in, Staff Sergeant Edward A. Carters only hope of survival is the Thompson submachine gun lying just beyond his reach.

ASSAULT RIFLES, JET FIGHTERS, AND ARMORED ATTACK HELICOPTERS.

Surrounded on all sides by the full might of the Chinese Peoples Army, a small cadre of exhausted American marines fight a desperate running gun battle through the frozen wastes of North Korea.

One lone Green Berets attempt to single-handedly rescue a Special Forces team pinned down deep behind enemy lines in Cambodia.

When his homeland is attacked in a bloody ambush on the holiest day of the Jewish calendar, one off-duty Israeli officer hitches a ride to the battlefield and takes a tank out on a lone-wolf mission to slow the advance of the entire Syrian army.

One fearless Afghan tribal leaders ten-year Red Dawn-style guerrilla war against the Russians, taking bolt-action rifles and horses up against Soviet tanks and armored attack helicopters.