Meg Cabot - Mia Goes Fourth

Also by Meg Cabot

The Princess Diaries

The Princess Diaries: Take Two

The Princess Diaries: Third Time Lucky

All American Girl

Look out for more Meg Cabotbooks!

The Princess Diaries: Give MeFive

The Princess Diaries: Six Appeal

Nicola and the Viscount

Victoria and the Rogue

ThePrincess Diaries:

Mia Goes Fourth

Meg Cabot

Manythanks to the usual suspects: Beth Ader, Jennifer Brown, Barb Cabot,Sarah Davies, Laura Langlie,

Abby McAden, David Walton and especially Benjamin Egwatz. Specialthanks to the Beckham family,

specifically Julie, for so generously allowing me the use of Molly'ssock-swallowing habit!

'IfI was a princess - a real princess,' she murmured, 'Icould scatter largess to the populace. But

even if I am only a pretend princess, I can invent little things to dofor people. Things Eke this.

She was just as happy as if it was largess. I'll pretend that to dothings people like is scattering largess.'

A Little Princess

Frances Hodgson Burnett

Friday, January 1, Midnight,

Royal Genovian Bedchamber

My New Year's Resolutions

by Princess Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo

aged 14 and 8 months

1. I will stop biting myfingernails, including the fake ones.

2. I will stop lying. Grandmereknows when I am lying anyway, thanks to my traitorous nostrils whichflare every

time I tell a fib, so it's not like there is even apointin trying to be less than truthful.

3. I will never veer from theprepared script while delivering televised addresses to the Genovianpublic.

4. I will stopaccidentally saying French swear words in front of theladies-in-waiting.

5. I will stop letting Francois, my Genovian bodyguard,teach me French swear words.

6. I will apologize to the Genovian Olive Growers'Association for that thing with the pits.

7. I will apologize to the Royal Chef for slippingGrandmere's dog that slice of foie gras (even though I have told the

palace kitchen repeatedly that I do not eat meat).

8. I will stop lecturing the Royal Genovian Press Corpson the evils of paparrazism.

9. I will achieve self-actualization.

10.I will stop thinking so much about Michael Moscovitz.

Oh, wait. It's OK for me tothink about Michael Moscovitz, BECAUSEHE IS MY BOYFRIEND NOW!!!!!!!!

MT+ MM = TRUE LOVE4-EVER

Saturday, January 2,

Royal Genovian Parliament

You know, I am supposed tobe on vacation. Seriously. I mean, this is my Winter Break. I amsupposed to be having

fun, mentally recharging for the coming semester, which is not going tobe easy, as I will be moving on to Algebra II,

not to mention Health and Safety class. Every other kid I know isspending his or her Winter Break in Aspen, skiing,

or in Miami, getting tanned.

But me? What am I doing for my Winter Break?

Oh, well, right now I amjust sitting in on a session of the Royal Genovian Parliament,pretending to be paying attention

while these really old guys in wigs go on about whether or not to givefree parking to the patrons of Genovia's many casinos.

Oh, yeah. That's a goodway to spend the precious few weeks I have off from school. At thisrate I will absolutely return to New York well-rested and ready forwhatever awaits me in my second semester of my freshman year at AlbertEinstein

High School. Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Grandmere. Thanks so much.

No one even wants to hearmy opinion about the whole parking thing, of course. That if we don'tcharge for parking it will encourage more people to drive over theFrench and Italian borders instead of taking the train, clogging upGenovia's

already very busy streets and causing yet more strain on ourinfrastructure.

But why shouldanyone be interested in what Ihave to say on the matter? I am just the Princess of Genovia. Myopinion obviously doesn't matter. Which would be why no one islistening to me, just arguing over the top of my head with my dad, whofortunately shares my opinion that a nominal parking charge - I'd jackit up to about thirty Euros a day, if I were him

is appropriate.

Fine, whatever. Like I care. I ampretending to take notes, since Grandmere told me I had to, as one dayI will be sitting

in my dad's chair (sadly not the throne - that is in the throne roomback at the palace) in the front of Parliament and have

to make all the decisions. But really I am recording my innermostthoughts and feelings in this book. Like the fact that I think InteriorMinister Pepin looks exactly like this howler monkey I once saw on World'sFunniest Animals. Or that Secretary Renard needs to start watchinghis saturated fats intake.

Not that it is at allprincesslike to comment on the physical inadequacies of others.Especially when I have so many physical inadequacies of my own.

But it isn't like I don't haveenough to worry about. I mean, I can barely bring myself to believethat a whole new year has actually started. Seriously. So much hashappened to me since last year - enough that probably a better-adjustedperson

might have totally lost it. Fortunately, since I was born a biologicalfreak, and am therefore very used to adversity, I was

able to take it all in my stride, for the most part.

But if I had been anyone else -like Katie Holmes, or maybe one of the Olsen twins - I so fully wouldhave not been able to deal. Because, you know, Katie and Mary Kate andAshley are totally gorgeous and self-actualized, and never have to

worry about anything. Whereas I, in less than a year's period, havebeen through so much trauma and angst it is a wonder

I am not on Oprah every single day, pouring my heart out to DrPhil. I mean, in the last four months alone, I have found

out that:

1. My dad is the Prince ofGenovia, and that I am his heir.

2. My grandmother is the DowagerPrincess of Genovia, and that it is her duty to train me for the day Iwill ascend

the throne.

3. My mom is having my Algebrateacher's baby (but unlike me, my new brother or sister will not bearthe stigma

of illegitimacy, since Mom and Mr. Gianini are married).

4. My best friend Lilly'sbrother, whom I have loved since the day I met him, when I was in thefirst grade and he

was in fourth and he came over in the playground togive Lilly her social studies project which she had forgotten

(an exact replica of the Parthenon, in red Play Doh),actually loves me back, and now we are going out.

Or at least we will when I get done with my first official visit toGenovia since discovering I am the sole heir to its throne,

and am allowed to return to my normal life as a ninth-grader in NewYork City.

I am telling you, a lesser personwould have had to check herself into Bellevue. These are extremelystartling, almost earth-shattering discoveries. It is only due to thefact that so many excruciatingly horrible things have happened to methroughout my life - excessively large feet; lack of notable mammarygrowth; general difficulty in asserting myself in front of peers,resulting in unpopularity; owning an overweight pet cat; inability tocomprehend multiplication of fractions that I

have been able to cope at all. I mean, I am way used to affliction bynow.

Not that the part about Michaelis an affliction. The knowledge that my love for him is not unrequited,like Wolverine's for

Jean Grey in X-MEN, is the only bright spot in my otherwisehideous existence.

Oh, and the baby brother orsister thing. That's pretty cool, too. Though I'd prefer it if my momwould let the doctor tell her what it is she's having, so I don't haveto keep writing