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If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, dont deal in lies,
Or being hated, dont give way to hating,
And yet dont look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dreamand not make dreams your master;
If you can thinkand not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth youve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them Hold on!
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kingsnor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything thats in it,
Andwhich is moreyoull be a Man, my son!
IF
Rudyard Kipling (1910)
MANHOOD HAS always been about the competence to be effective in the world. To be a man means to be skilled in the range of tasks that are critical to survive and thrive in societybecoming both physically proficient and culturally competent. To be manly means acquiring a breadth of skills so that you can deftly and adroitly handle any situation you find yourself in.
The French idea of savoir faire (pronounced sahv-wah fair) encapsulates this notion. You already know what it is: James Bond embodies it. Teddy Roosevelt had it in spades, and so did many of our grandfathers (I know mine did). Men with savoir faire can change a flat tire, dress sharp for any event, converse with both truck drivers and diplomats, and immobilize an armed attacker. Developing savoir faire means becoming a Renaissance man: smooth, smart, handy, and resourceful.
Across cultures, research shows that the traits women find most attractive in men are competence and effectivenessnot sports cars or six-pack abs. (Napoleon Dynamite was right: Chicks dig guys with skills.) These traits are prerequisites for the independence and autonomy that cultures across the world expect from men. They enable us to live satisfying, self-directed lives.
Plus, it simply feels awesome to know you possess the skills and confidence to walk into any situation and know how to act, how to own the room, and how to solve any problem that arises. Nietzsche said it best: Happiness is the feeling of power increasing. As you expand your skill set, you increase your ability to be effective in the world around you. You become more powerful, more potent, and that feels good.
I started The Art of Manliness in 2008 to help men develop savoir faire in a world that has left many men adrift, lacking the confidence, focus, skills, and virtues that the men we look up to embodied. This book fills that voidhelping you perfect the skills to be honorable, well-rounded, capable husbands, fathers, brothers, and citizens.
BUT WHAT SKILLS DOES A MODERN MAN NEED TO KNOW?
Its a debate that has gone on for centuries among men and will probably continue for centuries more. With The Illustrated Art of Manliness, we add our contribution to this great conversation. While we dont cover every conceivable skill a man needs to know, we think this volume represents a very good start. We wed the best of the past to the best of the present, offering guidance for a multidimensional, flourishing life.
Weve divided the book into six chapters that correspond to the roles that most men assume at one time or another in contemporary life: adventurer, gentleman, technician, warrior, family man, and leader. Among them youll find a nice mix of hard and soft skills that together build a constellation of all-around capability. For most of us living in capitalist, democratic societies, soft skills like dressing well, leading effectively, and displaying charisma help us excel. But we still need hard skills, like knowing how to fight or start a fire, even though we no longer need to survive in the wild or constantly guard against physical threats. Whether youre striving for the corner office or find yourself lost in the woods, its better to have these skills and not need them than it is to need them, and not have them.
We may not be arctic explorers, race-car drivers, survivalists, or doctorsbut we can learn from them. For each skill, weve done the research and consulted with top practitioners in relevant fields to deliver the advice ahead. Nevertheless, use your own good judgment, be responsible for your own safety, and be respectful of others.