Russell A. Barkley - Your Defiant Teen: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship

[This] comprehensive defiance-busting system helps parents define and assess the problem.... Without placing blame, the authors reveal that parents often unwittingly make a bad situation worse; the text gives solid tips on how to work toward a positive outcome and offers a variety of scenarios, demonstrating precisely how a parents words and actions can be the source of a teens compliant or defiant response. In the end, the authors offer a useful and detailed approach that respects the rights and expectations of parents and teens.Publishers Weekly

Extremely thorough and readable.... Much more detailed and parent-oriented than [others], this will be... much in demand. This book is written for parents seeking relief from the stress of living with an arrogant, aggressive, or noncompliant son or daughter.... Parents learn how to insist that their kids exhibit appropriate behavior for family life, school, and work.Library Journal

The transition from adolescence to adulthood can be tough as teens attempt to assert their independence. Now in an updated second edition, this is a very welcome, current resource that helps you guide your teen through difficult times. Your Defiant Teen has beenand will continue to bethe first book I recommend to parents struggling with challenging teens.Sam Goldstein, PhD, coauthor of Angry Children, Worried Parents

Here it isa book that provides insights into your teens behavior and a game plan for addressing it! This step-by-step guide can produce a stunning turnaround by helping you focus on the positive and strike that necessary balance between monitoring your teen and fostering independence.Sharon K. Weiss, MEd, coauthor of From Chaos to Calm: Effective Parenting of Challenging Children with ADHD and Other Behavioral Problems

Since the first edition of this book was published, growing evidence shows that the authors program works. The second edition incorporates lessons learned from continuing research while maintaining the practical, warm, and supportive approach. Without placing blame, the authors help you understand your teens behavior and explain 10 clear steps for creating positive change by improving the ways you interact.Torrey A. Creed, PhD, Department of Psychiatry, University of Pennsylvania

FOR GENERAL READERS

Taking Charge of ADHD, Third Edition:
The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents

Russell A. Barkley

Taking Charge of Adult ADHD

Russell A. Barkley with Christine M. Benton

Your Defiant Child, Second Edition: Eight Steps to Better Behavior

Russell A. Barkley and Christine M. Benton

FOR PROFESSIONALS

Barkley Adult ADHD Rating ScaleIV (BAARS-IV)

Russell A. Barkley

Barkley Deficits in Executive Functioning Scale (BDEFS for Adults)

Russell A. Barkley

Barkley Deficits in Executive Functioning Scale
Children and Adolescents (BDEFS-CA)

Russell A. Barkley

Barkley Functional Impairment Scale (BFIS for Adults)

Russell A. Barkley

Barkley Functional Impairment Scale
Children and Adolescents (BFIS-CA)

Russell A. Barkley

Defiant Children, Third Edition:
A Clinicians Manual for Assessment and Parent Training

Russell A. Barkley

Defiant Teens, Second Edition: A Clinicians Manual
for Assessment and Family Intervention

Russell A. Barkley and Arthur L. Robin

Negotiating ParentAdolescent Conflict:
A BehavioralFamily Systems Approach

Arthur L. Robin and Sharon L. Foster

For more information, visit Dr. Barkleys website:
www.russellbarkley.org

THE GUILFORD PRESS
New York London

Epub Edition ISBN: 9781462513017; Kindle Edition ISBN: 9781462513024

2014 The Guilford Press

A Division of Guilford Publications, Inc.

72 Spring Street, New York, NY 10012

www.guilford.com

All rights reserved

The information in this volume is not intended as a substitute for consultation with healthcare professionals. Each individuals health concerns should be evaluated by a qualified professional.

Except as noted, no part of this book may be reproduced, translated, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.

Last digit is print number: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available from the publisher.

ISBN 978-1-4625-1166-2 (pbk.) ISBN 978-1-4625-1230-0 (hardcover)

In memory of my twin brother,
Ronald F. Barkley (19492006),
and my nephew Ethan Barkley (19832013),
whose presence in my life is dearly missed

R. A. B.

To my wife, Susan,
whose love and friendship inspire me daily

A. L. R.

Purchasers may download and print selected practical tools from this book at www.guilford.com/barkley16-forms

I would like to acknowledge the substantial contributions of my coauthors, Art Robin and Chris Benton, without whose assistance this joint product would have been impossible. I am also grateful to The Guilford Press family for once more supporting my publishing efforts, as it has over the past 33 years. Special thanks to Nina Hnatov and Anna Brackett for seeing this book successfully through the copyediting and production process. As always, I am grateful to my wife, Pat, and sons, Steve and Ken, for their support of my professional activities.

R USSELL A. B ARKLEY , PhD

I wish to acknowledge a number of special individuals, without whose support and assistance this book could not have been written: my coauthors, Russ Barkley and Chris Benton, who made the writing of this book a fulfilling and fun experience; Dr. David Rosenberg, Chairman of the Child Psychiatry and Psychology Department at Childrens Hospital of Michigan and the Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences Department at Wayne State University, whose support made it possible for me to take the time to write the book; our editors at The Guilford Press; the many families with whom I have worked and from whom I am constantly learning new things about defiant behavior; and my wife, Susan, who provided unending support and love.

A RTHUR L. R OBIN , PhD

Many thanks to Russ Barkley and Art Robin for their boundless knowledge, insight, patience, and humor. And to everyone at Guilford for their support and dedication to publishing, especially Bob Matloff, Seymour Weingarten, Kitty Moore, Marian Robinson, Anne Patota, Judith Grauman, Paul Gordon, and Anna Brackett.

C HRISTINE M. B ENTON

Slam.

Thats the sound of teenage defiance.

You may be hearing it on a regular basis when your son storms out the door following yet another battle of wills. Or perhaps you imagine it every day as you wait in dread for your daughter to decide that walling herself off in hostile silence at home no longer puts enough distance between her and you. Either way, its a frightening noise. Its hard enough to deal with your home being turned into a battleground. Agonizing over what might happen to a son or daughter you can no longer control can keep you up at night and break your heart.

This book is about how you can become a positive influence in your teenagers environment again rather than just part of the place your son or daughter chose to slam the door on. Its about how you can get your teen to follow the nonnegotiable rules for living in a civilized familyand how you can learn to negotiate the rest of the issues you have with your teenager. Its about shedding those entrenched beliefs about each otherHes