Workman Publishing - Everything Is the Worst: A Book for People Who Just Can’t

Contents A stupid little introduction T o be honest, life is a f*cking shitshow. Basically the only way to get through it is to complain all the time, use every swear word imaginable, drink a lot, and simply ignore all problems for as long as possible. So heres to the badass bitches who help us along the waythe shitshow would be a lot less entertaining without you. Sigh Life Just wingin' it! Put It Off Another Day A study found that when participants were given the chance to procrastinate, they made a better decision than those who didnt procrastinate and made a quick decision. Finally, a science-backed excuse to not do a damn thing. tom haverford
PARKS AND RECREATION meh what ever ugh same When someone swears, theres an 80 percent chance that itll contain one of these ten words: f*ck shit hell damn goddamn Jesus Christ ass oh my god bitch sucks (F*ck and shit are obviously the most popular.) Swearing might help This is Seriously Ridiculous It's Like Why? Today I'll make an effort Today I'll Today To T Teq Tequila How About A Drink Instead? Tired AF Things that are really f*cking hard Paying bills Getting to work on time Getting your work done on time Understanding your tax return Understanding your parents Abstaining from wine for more than two days Making doctor appointments Remembering to water your plants Talking to idiots Life in general I Give Up The Struggle is Real I am running away from my responsibilities. tom haverford
PARKS AND RECREATION meh what ever ugh same When someone swears, theres an 80 percent chance that itll contain one of these ten words: f*ck shit hell damn goddamn Jesus Christ ass oh my god bitch sucks (F*ck and shit are obviously the most popular.) Swearing might help This is Seriously Ridiculous It's Like Why? Today I'll make an effort Today I'll Today To T Teq Tequila How About A Drink Instead? Tired AF Things that are really f*cking hard Paying bills Getting to work on time Getting your work done on time Understanding your tax return Understanding your parents Abstaining from wine for more than two days Making doctor appointments Remembering to water your plants Talking to idiots Life in general I Give Up The Struggle is Real I am running away from my responsibilities.

And it feels good. michael scott
the office don't Mind My Attitude Why are people so annoying? Do I look like I care? I don't even want to know someone who isn't barely hanging on by a thread. amy schumer
the girl with the lower back tattoo Tryna get My Shit Together But I'm so freaking over it The average English speaker swears approximately 85 times every day. I don't give a shit Ok not to be a Bitch but Appropriate times to just say f*ck it When the bill is $12 and your card gets declined When you get to the gym and realize you forgot your headphones When you lock yourself out of the car and the only way to get back in is to crawl through the sunroof When you realize the person you just hit on is still in college When your umbrella breaks in the rain When you accidentally like a photo of the person youre stalking When your shirt is see-through and you dont realize it until you get to work When your ex finally kicks you off their Netflix account