Rob Hill Sr. - The Missing Piece: Finding the Better Part of Me: A Love Journey

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Copyright 2018 by Rob Hill Sr.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Atria Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Atria Books hardcover edition June 2018

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Interior design by Joy OMeara

Jacket design by Laywan Kwan

Author photographs by Chad Griffith

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Hillman, Robert Brandyn, 1987 author. | Waters, Jas, author. Title: The missing piece : finding the better part of me, a love journey / Rob Hill, Sr. with Jas Waters. Description: New York : Atria Books, [2018] Identifiers: LCCN 2018005011 (print) | LCCN 2018015804 (ebook) | ISBN 9781476791692 (Ebook) | ISBN 9780671732318 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781501140501 (tradepaper) | ISBN 9781476791685 Subjects: LCSH: Self-actualization (Psychology) Classification: LCC BF637.S4 (ebook) | LCC BF637.S4 H546 2018 (print) | DDC 158.092dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018005011

ISBN 978-1-4767-9168-5

ISBN 978-1-4767-9169-2 (ebook)

This book is dedicated to my son, Robert Jr.

Always trust God. Always choose Love. Always believe in yourself.

T his is no fairy tale. Within the pages of this book you will find no mention of glass slippers, princes, fairy godmothers, sleeping beauties, or evil witches. A whale swallows no one, and a woodcarvers puppet, magically sprung to life, wont cry as his nose grows with each lie. You wont find any of that here.

There is only me.

Ill start by saying Im no expert at life. My story is about a misguided young man dancing in the gray and choosing to live dangerously in the middle. I am a student of love. This book is about the period in my life when I was most broken, unable to gather all the pieces, much less put them back together. Ive heard that not all those who wander are lost, but not all who are lost even know theyre wandering. I ran, mostly from the truth, but occasionally from myself. I was a runner by nature, and usually without a destination in mind.

Before getting too deep into my story, I want you to know five specific things about me:

1. I grew up as a military dependent, and our family traveled often.

When I turned seven, the world as I knew it changed. My mother met Frank Anderson III on a blind date at a Ruby Tuesday in Raleigh, North Carolina. They were friends at first. Both were young divorced parents; Frank a father of one, Frank IV, and my mother, Monique, had two: my older sister, Elise, and me. They were careful about how their relationship progressed. Frank was a military man and he had a very dependable and trusting way about him. Nine months after their blind date, they married July 1, 1995, in Chesapeake, Virginia. They had my younger sisters Brianna and Ahmore a few years later, in 1998 and 1999. Up until this point, Chesapeake in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia was my home, but after that day my definition of home was never the same.

Starting a new school happens to most children three to four times throughout their lives. Preschool, elementary, middle, then high school are the usual transitions. But when youre a military family like we were, you have to get used to relocating regularly. And with that comes new environments, schedules, social circles, and new schools. I was uncomfortable each time I had to start a new school, and the worst transitions often came in the middle of the school year. The best way to describe it is that its like walking into a room full of people who have known one another for years and everyone quiets to a hush as you take your seat. Nobody knows what to say, so they just watch and observe you. Now imagine having to do that as a child; then imagine that child having to do that eleven times.

Theres a certain rapport children build with one another that allows them to become comfortable. Over time you learn which friend is great for playing basketball, which friends mom buys all the good snacks, which always has the latest video games, who has the best manners so my mom doesnt mind if he sleeps over. As a military child, the time needed to get comfortable in a new environment was rarely afforded. Once I got settled and at ease, I knew sooner or later I could be moving. Constantly walking into that room full of people who have known one another their entire lives became my normal. Only it wasnt normal.

The experience at each school meant a lot to me. To give you a sense of just how many schools I attended, Im listing them below.

George Washington Primary School (Chesapeake, VA): kindergarten and 1st grade, 19921994

College Park Elementary School (Virginia Beach, VA): 2nd grade, 1994

The sound of wedding bells ringing. Family moves to North Carolina.

Millbrook Elementary International Baccalaureate Primary Years Programme Magnet School (Raleigh, NC): 3rd grade, 1995

The sound of relief. Family moves back to Virginia.

Camelot Elementary School (Chesapeake, VA): 4th grade, 1996

Thinks that this is bullshit but kinda cool at the same time as family moves to California.

Acacia Baptist Elementary School (Hawthorne, CA): 4th grade, 19961997

White Point Elementary School (San Pedro, CA): 5th grade, 19971998

Richard Henry Dana Middle School (San Pedro, CA): 6th grade, 19981999

The sound of crying. A whole lot of crying. Family moves to Germany, but back to Virginia first.

Hugo A. Owens Middle School (Chesapeake, VA): 7th grade, 1999

Baumholder American High School (Baumholder, Germany): 7th grade, 2000

If its starting to feel like a lot, imagine actually doing it.

Hugo A. Owens Middle School (Chesapeake, VA): 8th grade, 2001

Baumholder American High School (Baumholder, Germany): 8th and 9th grade, 2001