Kim Zoller - 16 Communication Secrets

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COMMUNICATION
SECRETS

LEARN FROM THE
BIGGEST BLUNDERS
PROFESSIONAL SMAKE

KIM ZOLLER
KERRY PRESTON

JAICO PUBLISHING HOUSE

Ahmedabad Bangalore Bhopal Bhubaneswar Chennai
Delhi Hyderabad Kolkata Lucknow Mumbai

Published by Jaico Publishing House

A-2 Jash Chambers, 7-A Sir Phirozshah Mehta Road

Fort, Mumbai - 400 001

www.jaicobooks.com

Kim Zoller and Kerry Preston

Original English language edition published by

The Career Press, Inc.

12 Parish Drive, Wayne

NJ 07470, USA

All right reserved

To be sold only in India, Bangladesh, Bhutan,

Pakistan, Nepal, Sri Lanka and the Maldives.

16 COMMUNICATION SECRETS

ISBN 978-81-8495-881-2

First Jaico Impression: 2016

No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in
any form or by any means, electronic or
mechanical including photocopying, recording or by any
information storage and retrieval system,
without permission in writing from the publishers.

Acknowledgments

W e truly thank each other for an outstanding partnership of more than 12 years. During that time, we were lucky enough to become the best of friends. We help each other remember that we always have to continue to grow personally and we can always get better.

Many thanks to our wonderful clients and seminar participants for asking thought-provoking questions and for their active participation. This book was written with them and their colleagues in mind.

We want to acknowledge the work of Shawn Mash, Susan Klein, Paula Zeitman, and Harriet Whiting for their contributions and fascinating ideas about communication.

We thank and acknowledge our families, especially Benjamin, Samuel, Tim, Luke, Wes, and Nate.

Contents

Introduction

1. Not Being on Your A-Game

2. Not Beginning With the End in Mind

3. Not Knowing Your Personal Brand

4. Not Managing Perceptions

5. Not Connecting and Building Relationships

6. Not Making Appropriate Small Talk

7. Meltdown of Communication Through Technology Use

8. Not Managing Your Social Networking

9. Lack of Awareness of Communication Stallers and Stoppers

10. Making Assumptions

11. Not Focusing on the Details

12. Not Giving and Receiving Precise Feedback

13. Not Adapting to Different Communication Styles

14. Not Reacting Professionally

15. Bloopers and Blunders: Saying and Doing the Wrong Thing

16. Ask Kim and Kerry: Answers to Sticky Situations

17. Not Communicating Value

18. Your Action Plan for Continued Success

Bibliography

Index

About the Authors

Introduction

You can have brilliant ideas, but if you cant get them
across, your ideas wont get you anywhere.

Lee Iacocca

Wouldnt it be nice if every time the person with whom we are speaking heard us exactly the way in which we intended? Why isnt that the case more often? Things get in the way of our words. Have you ever said or heard someone say That wasnt my intention? Intention only means something when our communication is presented in such a way that the other persons perceptions correlate to what was intended. If they dont match, you end up with You said what ?

Communication is presence . It is not about words or actions separately, but about how those words and actions together translate into our overall message. Presence. It is the way we present ourselves. It is how we build consistent credibility throug every mode of communication.

16 Communication Secrets is a holistic view of how we communicate our message. Communication embodies many areas, and by being holisticlooking at the big picturewe ensure that we are focusing on every way we present ourselves, not on just one area. For example, communication style is a very important and hot topicas it should be. If were just focused on adapting to someones style without taking into account what experiences they bring to the table, we may miss connecting with that person and ultimately not reach our communication goal.

It is very easy to focus on one part of communication, such as the way we speak, yet this is a very small part of what this book discusses. Focusing on one small part of communication will never get the result were looking for. Sociologist Albert Mehrabian says that our words account for only 7 percent of the impression we make.

We are constantly communicating. We may never speak a word, but we may have said a mouthful. In almost two decades of being in this business, we have seen countless talented and intelligent individuals lose opportunities because of the way they communicated their overall messages. We have seen them fail because of the way they present themselves and the impressions they make, which correlate to their overall communication presence. On the flip side, we have also watched and followed people who get it. They plan and they think about what they are doing and saying to make sure they are heard.

Communication is not how and what we say; it is how we are heard . It is not about us; it is about how the other person perceives our message and us.

Our goal for you in reading this book is that you take a step back, think about what you are really trying to accomplish, and build a plan around the way you communicate. From your words to your nonverbal communication to your brand, every single way in which you communicate can affect your outcome.

During our communication skills seminars throughout the last 19 years, we have asked more than 5,000 participants, What are the barriers and challenges to good communication? Here is a snapshot of their replies:

Diversity

Unclear direction

Perception

Language barriers

Lack of knowledge

Poor planning

Lack of resources

Poor listening skills

Emotion

Lack of approachability

Anger

Hidden or preconceived agendas

Time constraints

Preconceptions

Ineffective verbal/written skills

Body language

Lack of organizational skills

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