Ora Prilleltensky - The Laughing Guide to Change

The Laughing Guide to Change

Using Humor and Science to Master Your
Behaviors, Emotions, and Thoughts

Ora Prilleltensky and
Isaac Prilleltensky

ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD

Lanham Boulder New York London

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Prilleltensky, Ora, 1959- author. | Prilleltensky, Isaac, 1959- author.

Title: The laughing guide to change : using humor and science to master your behaviors, emotions, and thoughts / Ora Prilleltensky, Isaac Prilleltensky.

Description: Lanham, Maryland : Rowman & Littlefield, [2019] | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2018032965 (print) | LCCN 2018035041 (ebook) | ISBN 9781475825787 (electronic) | ISBN 9781475825763 (cloth : alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Change (Psychology) | Laughter.

Classification: LCC BF637.C4 (ebook) | LCC BF637.C4 P754 2019 (print) | DDC 158.1dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018032965

TM The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information Sciences Permanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.

Printed in the United States of America

To Beacon, our adorably misbehaved grand dog, who refuses to change

Beacon with Elizabeth, our daughter in law.

Do you experience stress? Are you interested in happiness and well-being? Are there things you want to change in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to read this book. If you answered no to any of them, youre in denial, and dont even think of putting it down.

Most of us would like to change something about our lives. In fact, many of us have tried but given up in frustration. Change efforts usually fail because of four reasons: 1) lack of specific skills to engage in the change process, 2) strategies of change that dont appeal to people, 3) difficulty in persevering, and 4) lack of a meaningful goal. The key is to learn specific skills that appeal to you and can be easily applied to a meaningful goal.

There are multiple avenues to change, but not all of them will appeal to you; therefore, you have to find ways that are interesting, easy, and appealing. In this book we present a menu of options to engage in meaningful change. Specifically, we introduce three drivers of change: behaviors, emotions, and thoughts. Each driver of change contains two specific skills. We cover six skills aimed at helping you change. By giving you ample choices of where to get started, were pretty confident that at least one of them will get you going. You start with one and then leverage other drivers and skills of change. This will result in synergy that will propel and sustain change.

In addition to specificskills that appeal to you, are easy to implement, and pertain to a meaningfulgoal, we believe change can be facilitated by humor and fun. There is no question that we take ourselves way too seriously. We submit that if were willing to look at ourselves through a comic mirror, a lot of our defenses will come down, and change will be much easier. To lead by example, Isaac offers in this book multiple examples of self-deprecation, ranging from his girly voice to the size of his ears and his neurotic habits.

There is evidence that humor facilitates learning and psychological well-being. The present book is part of a trilogy. TheLaughing Guide to Well-Being combines humor with science to help you become happier and healthier. TheLaughing Guide to Change uses humor and science to master your behaviors, emotions, and thoughts. Finally, The Laughing Guide to a Better Life is about improving yourself, your relationships, and your surroundings.

Each chapter of this book consists of two sections: the Learning Side and the Laughing Side. In the former, we introduce specific skills that apply to a wide range of issues, for instance, relationships, work, stress, and physical and emotional well-being. In the latter, we reinforce the learning through humor.

There is research, which we take very seriously, that humor can reinforce the learning process. This is why we call our method smarter through laughter. At the beginning of each chapter youll learn two specific skills associated with a driver of change. For example, in the first chapter, youll learn how to set a goal and create a positive habit. These skills pertain to the first driver of change: behaviors. The first part of each chapter is based on scientific research. The second part is based on laughter.

The premise of smarter through laughter is that you learn better when you feel relaxed and happy. Positive moods and emotions open our mind to new ways of thinking. Humor generates happy moods, which in turn increase our psychological flexibility. Through satire we learn to poke fun at ourselves and entertain new possibilities we hadnt thought about before. Unfortunately, the potential of humor to help people change and improve their well-being has not been fully realized. We hope this book makes you laugh and helps you change. If you do one, wed be ecstatic. If you do both, wed be euphoric.

Finally, wed like to say a few words about our coauthorship. We have been married for 35 years and have survived many adventures together, including three transoceanic moves; however, there is one thing we did that nearly killed us: writing a previous book on well-being. The fact that we also coauthored this book on well-being shows that a) we do not learn from experience, and b) we have way too much fun poking fun at one another.

Ora wrote most of the Learning Side of the book. She was also in charge of censoring some of Isaacs stories in the Laughing Side. She did so primarily to make sure Isaac keeps his day job.