Elaine Welteroth - More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)

BY AVA DUVERNAY

Nothing bad ever happens to me. Its all to learn and grow.

I was standing on the set during one of my film shoots in New York City when I heard these words. They hit my heart like a beam of light. One of my assistant directors said it to me very casually in the midst of a conversation on a different subject. Nothing bad ever happens to me. Its all to learn and grow.

You know sometimes when you hear or read or see something that you need so deeply, but didnt even know it? This moment was like that for me. I was depleted. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. I was living far from home for six months filming a project about tough subject matter. It marked my third straight year of working on massive projects with no mental break in between. No full weekend off. No vacation. Just nonstop mentally and physically taxing work. Id felt like Id made choices that put me in a place of inner turmoil and lack, instead of nourishment and freedom. It was wearing on me. Every day. In every way.

Many of us have been there. We allow the expectations of others to shape our own expectations. We dont prioritize our time with ourselves. We rarely set aside moments to be still, to access our center. And the bottom line is, when we dont focus on our inner light, it dims. We feel put upon, distracted, out of balance. We feel that life is happening around us and we cant grasp it fully. It feels like bad things are happening to us. And its all out of our control.

One of the things I love about the book you hold in your hands is its intention to share these kinds of challenges as a road map to the good within you. Elaine strips away the facade of success, the sheen and shimmer of social media, the shiny wrapping paper, to give us all a real gift. The true story of her climb. In all its clumsiness and elegance. Because if there is one thing we know for sure, each of our lives is filled with both. There are times when everything is in perfect balance. And times when we just arent quite in sync.

But what if we chose to live with new vision? To not see the clumsiness as a bad thing, but to live in the space of nothing bad ever happens to me. To embrace an idea that my friend Oprah Winfrey told me some years ago: This bad thing isnt happening to you. It is happening for you. That, my friends, is a game-changing notion. It is a powerful truth. And when I abide by it, I am whole.

When my father passed on suddenly a few years ago and my heart was shattered into a million pieces, I held onto this. I knew that his Life had happened for his family, that he lived it exquisitely like a work of art, and that his passing was a triumphant one because he powerfully fulfilled his purpose on this earth. I choose gratitude in that moment, instead of despair. And it saved me. Whenever I remember that Life is for me, not against me, I hear and see and feel it all. And I can find good in every shadow, in every cloud. It makes every day brighter.

How do we get there? Its a spiritual practice. It takes time. And repetition. And as you can see, we all need to be reminded to stay on course just as I was reminded that day in New York on set. But if youre open, youll receive those reminders. In fact, youre holding one in your hand right now. Elaines book is a gorgeous reminder that each day we have the chance to gain lessons from Life. We can observe how human nature unfolds before us. We can begin to read the world around us, the people we meet and the places we go, as if they are letters written by a divine pen. A person whose soul has awakened to this fact is so abundantly aware that every interaction, situation, even blade of grass reveals something worth knowing. And in that knowing, the truth is that nothing bad can ever happen to you. We can see it and process it as bad. Or we can see it and process it as something happening for us, not to us.

In these pages, youll find a story of a woman who learned that lesson along the way. Every fall was actually a step. Every confusion was actually insight. Every risk was actually a reward waiting to happen.

I hope you enjoy Elaines story as much as I did. Her journey is a testament to shaping what we experience for our own good. For crafting positivity as our path. For knowing that the bad is our choice and the good is our choice. And to work to choose the good. Every day. In every way.