Daniel Glick - Powerful Poise: Secrets From Experts And Authors Amy Cuddy And Caroline Webb

POWERFUL POISE

Secrets from Experts and Authors Amy Cuddy and Caroline Webb

By

Daniel Glick

2016 by Daniel Glick. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted by any means or in any form, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. This includes photocopying, recording, or other electronic or automated methods.

Although the author and publisher have made all reasonable efforts to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions in this book, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

To the extent that this book contains information related to health and wellness, the information contained in this book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of licensed physicians. Readers should regularly consult a physician in matters related to his or her health, especially with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.

How To Use This Guide

T his guide provides curated, actionable, and to-the-point advice from the worlds leading experts. Obviously, we cant cover every relevant detail or anecdote provided by the experts cited (if we did, the guide would no longer be to-the-point), but we do our best to convey all of the most important information for each topic. In each guide, youll get the major takeaways and lessons for the topic covered, and, more importantly, youll be able to digest them and incorporate them into your life in no time at all!

This book is split into three parts. The first part briefly introduces you to the subject matter, with a broad overview of its importance and relevance to your daily life. The second part of the book contains each of the bedrock principles espoused by leading experts on the topic. And the third part provides you with an at-a-glance recap of each bedrock principle, so that you can refresh yourself on the actionable steps quickly and easily, again and again. Inside this guide, you will also find direct links to the experts own books and a clickable Table of Contents so that you can navigate around the book with a simple click of your mouse.

Now, lets begin!

What Is Presence?

A my Cuddy, author of the book Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges , writes that presence is something we all need before we can be truly powerful in our jobs and personal lives. Presence, according to Ms. Cuddy, is the state of being so comfortable with ourselves that we feel free to express our real thoughts and feelings, and we do not hesitate to use our talents and knowledge. Presence is something we all have, but its not something we all have ready access to. It comes from believing in ourselves and trusting ourselves. It comes from assigning value to our feelings, values, and abilities. Other people notice it when we have itwhether were having dinner with friends, going on a first date, interviewing for a job, pitching a product, negotiating a raise, or speaking in front of a group of thousands. When we can speak up in a way that is authentic and poised, we have presence. Presence, in all of these situations, is power.

Caroline Webb, a former partner at management consultancy firm McKinsey & Company, agrees. In her book, How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life , Webb examines the effect of what Ms. Cuddy calls presence (as well as the effect of a lack of presence) on our daily lives and, particularly, our day-to-day lives at work. She notes a few different scientific principles that influence the way we manifest our presence: (1) our two-system brains (one system, slow and rational; the other one, fast, instinctive, and subconscious); (2) the incredible and multi-point interconnectedness of the mind and body; and (3) our propensity to constantly be on the defensive, yet still seek to discover new rewards and experiences.

Webb notes that, for the vast majority of us, our success (and happiness and purpose) depends in large part on other people. Theres nothing wrong with thisits simply how we are wired as human beings. Research shows that the quality of our relationships is one of the most significant predictors of both day-to-day happiness and overall life satisfaction.

And the quality of our relationships depends on our presenceit depends on our ability and willingness to share our authentic selves with our loved ones, our friends, our clients, our colleagues, and our superiors. It depends on the confidence we exhibit when using our talents or expressing our knowledge. Presence, then, is not just about standing up straight and speaking loudly. Its an entire outlook on life, and it is a key to having a fulfilling life.

Bedrock 1: Question Your Assumptions

W e go through a lot of our lives with our brains on auto-pilot. Thats a good thing, generally, since we literally dont have enough brain energy to allow our brains to thoughtfully consider and weigh each decision and course of action we encounter over the course of the day. According to Caroline Webb, it can also be a bad thing, though. We establish bad habits just as easily (more easily, some people would argue) as we establish good habits, and those bad habits most often reveal themselves while were on auto-pilot. Bad habits dont just take the form of a mid-afternoon sweet treat or an addiction to cigarettes. They also take the form of relying on incorrect assumptions about ourselves, our abilities, the situations before us, and other people. And of focusing on negative things, becoming defensive, and behaving in a way that is needlessly self-protective, rather than productive.

Its not that we should stop making assumptions, says Webb. Sometimes we must form an opinion or assess a situation before we have much information. We should, however, (1) be aware when we are making assumptions and what those assumptions are and (2) question those assumptions and be willing to abandon them if we are presented with contradictory information. One effective way to do this is to set our intentions before going into any situation where we suspect we might be tempted to rely too heavily on unfounded assumptions.