Praise for Blaze Your Own Trail
The intrapersonal journey described in this book gives the reader insight into the world of choice, especially for women who are working to find or create balance in their personal and professional lives. The stories shared in this work encompass the challenge we all have as human beings in wondering what if? in our daily lives. This book will have an impact on the perspectives we hold when evaluating our privileges and struggles. It brings to life the reality that our journeys are multidimensional and that the dimensions are defined by our identities, decisions, and the actions of others. It is intriguing how the author speaks to readers as if they are directly experiencing the events taking place in the book, making the realities felt through the characters thoughts relatable and powerful.
Cheryl Ingram, founder and CEO, Diverse City LLC
Blaze Your Own Trail provides valuable insight into the experiences and choices that a woman makes in her life, beyond what many of us might be aware of. As a tech CEO and an investor, as well as a father and husband, I have long recognized the role I need to play in empowering women in their careers. The insight I have gained from this book has helped me feel more empathy around many of the obstacles that I wasnt even aware of and has inspired me to be a more effective ally.
Spencer Rascoff, cofounder of dot.LA, Zillow, and Hotwire
If you think this is some strangers story, think again. At every crossroads, I found myself on the path of a woman I know and loveconfronting her choices, facing her struggles, and embracing her hope. We grow up thinking that the wrong twists and turns could ruin everything. But we are way too strong for that.
Mnica Guzmn, cofounder of The Evergrey
Every once in a while, an author so delightful and smart breaks through with a winning idea for the world. With interactive, useful, and fun-to-read chapters like Love or Marriage, Ladder or Jungle Gym, or Snot and Tears, Blaze Your Own Trail walks us through career and life choices with poignancy and power. In what is one of the most emotionally fraught topics of todays agegender equity in the office and homeRebekah manages to provide a winning framework for anyone giving big life decisions full consideration. A must-read for everyone, male or female, parent or child. I loved it!
Jonathan Sposato, Chairman, GeekWire, and author of Better Together
Rebekah distills the defining moments of lifeexcitement, choices, hardshipsinto interactive, fun-to-read chapters that offer a glimpse into every womans reality. She intersperses the story with grounding statistics on themes like choosing a career, motherhood, workplace harassment, relationships... and the result is a book that feels reassuring, kind, and comforting for any woman who has ever had a decision to make. A wonderful and refreshing reminder that, even when everything feels out of our control, we are the creators of our story.
Amy Nelson, founder and CEO, The Riveter
BLAZE YOUR OWN TRAIL
BLAZE YOUR OWN TRAIL
An Interactive Guide to Navigating Life with Confidence, Solidarity, and Compassion
REBEKAH BASTIAN
Blaze Your Own Trail
Copyright 2020 by Rebekah Bastian
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.
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First Edition
Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-5230-8795-2
PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-5230-8796-9
IDPF e-book ISBN 978-1-5230-8797-6
Digital audio ISBN 978-1-5230-8798-3
2019-1
Book producer and text designer: Happenstance Type-O-Rama; Cover design and illustration: Yvonne Chan; Interior illustration: Yvonne Chan
Dedicated to my husband, Shane:
I am thankful for the many
decisions that have resulted in
the life we share and for the
support and inspiration that
you fuel me with.
THE DECISION TREE
FOREWORD
I f you could go back in time and say anything to your younger self, what would it be?
The first time I was asked this question I was on stage during a conference. I was thirty-five years old, married, seven months pregnant with my first child, had just spent forty weeks traveling through the emerging world for my second book, and had been promised a massive promotion at work.
I had already faced a lot of the dilemmas that the protagonist of this book faces in the pages to come. Id put off having kids. Id called off one wedding that didnt feel quite right at the last minute. Id decided not to change my name when I did finally get married. Id refused higher paying jobs to do what I was passionate about. That book on emerging markets, for instance, had cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars in travel expenses and opportunity cost to write. But after it published, Id gone to five continents promoting it and done speaking gigs all over the worldall while pregnantand in the process, I more than made that money back.
I was happy. The risks had paid off, the tradeoffs all felt worth it. I felt a rare sense of peace wash over me, and I answered, I would tell the younger me to calm down. Its all going to work out fine.
That would have been a big ask of the younger me. I still vividly remember the anxiety I had in my teens and early twenties over my future: Would I ever fall in love? Would I ever find someone who could appreciate me? What on earth was I qualified to do for a living? Did I want to be a mom? Would becoming a mom require me to throw away everything Id ever worked for?