Erin Bried - How to Rock Your Baby: And Other Timeless Tips for Modern Moms

The recommendations and suggestions in this book are not intended to replace the advice given to you by your physician or other health professionals. All matters regarding your pregnancy, health, and childcare should be discussed with your doctor. Before using any herbal remedies or vitamins mentioned in this book, be sure to consult with the appropriate health professionals and check the products labels for any warnings or cautionary notes. Keep in mind that herbal remedies and supplements are not as strictly regulated as drugs.

The author and publisher disclaim any liability directly or indirectly from the use of the material in this book by any person.

Copyright 2012 Erin Bried

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. For information address Hyperion, 114 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10011.

The Library of Congress has catalogued the original print edition of this book as follows:

Bried, Erin.

How to rock your baby : and other timeless tips for modern moms / Erin Bried. - 1st ed.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-1-4013-2459-9

1. Child rearing. 2. Mother and child. 3. Parenting. I. Title.

HQ769.B6748 2012

649'.1dc23

2011051296

eBook Edition ISBN: 978-1-4013-0409-6

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Cover design and illustration Tamaye Perry
Interior illustrations by Simon M. Sullivan
Author photo Marlene Rounds

First eBook Edition

Original trade paperback edition printed in the United States of America.

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FOR ELLIE ROSE

Contents

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Last year, when I was pregnant for the first time (and, lets just say, a little nervous about the whole thing), I read absolutely every motherhood-, pregnancy-, and baby-related book I could get my hands on. And then, when I finished those, I Googled just about every motherhood-, pregnancy-, and baby-related topic I could think of. Had you checked the search history of my computer, you wouldve seen I was a woman obsessed. I was about to take on the most important role of my life, and I wanted to give my baby the best I could.

As my belly grew, so did my concerns. For instance, Id learned that bumpers, those fluffy, quilted numbers parents once lined the crib with, were now considered suffocation hazards. But what about the newfangled, breathable, mesh ones? I remember sitting in my ob-gyns office sometime during my third trimester, and after asking her a litany of questions, which yes, I wrote down beforehand, I finished, somewhat breathlessly, with, OK, last one: What do you think about the new breathable bumpers? She smiled at me, kindly, and said, Well, Im not sure. I do know that Ive never heard of a baby who has been seriously injured from sticking her arm out of her crib. Wouldnt she just pull it back in?

As you may be able to tell, my head was absolutely spinning from all the research Id done. As you may also be able to tell, all that research didnt help me all that much, mainly because the advice varied so greatly from book to book. One would say, whatever you do, never let your baby cry, while the next would say, once shes old enough, you must let her cry it out at night. One would say, wash your hands every time you even think about your baby, while another would say, exposure to germs will make him stronger. One would say, if you allow a single drop of formula to pass through your childs lips, her digestive system will be forever ruined, while another would say, formula is an absolute lifesaver.

In my hormonal fog, Id lie awake at night, propped up by a million pillows, wondering, Is there any possible way I wont screw this up?

So, confused as ever, I did what any anxious mother-to-be would do: I went to visit my own mom, a kindergarten teacher and grandmother, who lives a hundred miles away from me, in Pennsylvania. She spent a long afternoon walking me through an overwhelmingly large baby store, where she helped me pick out everything I needed, from crib sheets to a car seat, as well as a few things I never even knew I needed (or ever wanted to know about), like nipple cream and butt paste. While we were strolling through the aisles, she told me not to worry so much. I used to fill your bottle with apple juice and put you to bed, she confessed. We all did. Its a wonder any of you have teeth at all.

Particularly after reading so many books that took such a staunch position on whats right and wrong, it wouldve been easy to be horrified by her confession. Babies dont need all that sugar! But after we left the store, we spent time with my young nieces, her granddaughters, who love her to the moon and back. Watching her with them, I realized that while parenting trends may indeed change from generation to generation, and even year to year, there are some things that just dont. Some things are truly timeless.

So when I got back home to Brooklyn, I set aside the books, turned off my computer, and waddled off on a mission to learn the parenting lessons that have stood the test of time. And I figured, who better to ask than extraordinary mothers, whove raised extraordinary children? I tapped women from all over the country, from ages 39 to 102, and posed the same doozy of a question to each of them: How did you do it? Hearing their stories, I found not only real practical advice, but also comfort, compassion, and, perhaps most importantly, a dose of newfound confidence.

I sat with 102-year-old Betty Horton in her summer cottage on the shores of Lake Erie. She told me that she had her first daughter at age 24, and her second soon after. I was happy, she says, but I was kind of scared, too. World War II broke out when both of her girls were still very young, and her husband joined the navy, leaving her alone to raise them, while he fought in Europe and the South Pacific for the next four years. When I expressed surprise and admiration, Horton brushed it off. I got through it, she said. I just did, because I had to. (Later, when I mentioned that I was taking prenatal yoga, she brushed that off, too. I think thats a bunch of hooey, she said.) What she remembered more clearly than the worry or the sleepless nights was the song she used to sing to her girls. That afternoon on her porch, she sang it to me with tears in her eyes: Come, little leaves/Said the wind one day; Come to the meadows/With me and play. Put on your dresses/Of red and gold; For summer is past/And the days grow cold.

I also spent an afternoon in Brooklyn with Erinn McGurn, who, at thirty-nine, is the youngest mother I interviewed. Her twins were born so prematurely, at thirty weeks, that they had to spend the first three months of their lives in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. No mother would hope that her babies would have to struggle so much just to survive from the moment they were born, and yet that was McGurns reality. I was in combat mode, she says of the time. I had to keep it together, because I was responsible for them, and I wouldnt do them any good by falling apart. She discovered strength she never knew she had, and with her steady support, her children grew ounce by ounce. Now theyre happy, healthy, and rambunctious three-year-olds. At first glance, youd never know they had such a hard beginning, but look a little closer, and youll notice something powerful within both of them. Seeing them play at the park with their mother, I know exactly where they got it.