Liat Azar - Seeds of Nonviolent Communication - Raising a communicative generation: A Guidebook for Educators and Parents According to Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s Model

Liat Azar

Seeds of Nonviolent Communication

Raising a communicative generation

Translation: DanaTranslators, www.DanaTranslators.com

All rights reserved by the author

Rights to the photographs belong to the author

First English Edition 2016

Quotes from: Nonviolent Communication A Language for Life , Focus Press, 2009;
Solberg, S. The Psychology of the Child and the Teenager, An Introduction to Behavioral Psychology , Magnes Press, Jerusalem, 1995

It is forbidden to copy, photocopy, record, scan, store in databases or to distribute this book or parts of it, in any way or manner, by any electronic, optic or mechanic means whatsoever, or to distribute this book or excerpts from it in any form and by any means, including internet, e-book or any other media, without written permission from the author.

My first book is lovingly dedicated to my husband Sharon and to my wonderful children Linoy, Aviv and Dror

Your presence is the greatest gift you could ever give me. May the compassion in your hearts blossom and may you always be joyful.

Heartfelt Thanks

Special thanks to Dr. Marshall Rosenberg , the creator of Nonviolent Communication, thanks to whom this book was written. I received much knowledge due to his endless giving in order to circulate this approach throughout the world. Inspired by his wide heart, I formulated my own belief system which advocates the values of the language and tools of Nonviolent Communication, which have been of much use to me in my personal life, in my work with early childhood aged children, with parents and with my educational staff.

Special thanks to Mrs. Miri Shapiro thanks to whom I discovered and learned the giraffe language. Thank you for the guidance and accompaniment and for responding to every question at all times. Thank you for enriching my knowledge, for the direction and for the clarifications and accuracy in writing the situations in this book.

Miri Shapiro is a moderator for prevention of violence in the Ministry of Education. She was previously the principal of a school, a position in which she was very successful, and the school was accompanied by studies in the field of cultivating students with self-direction.

Miri specialized in the field of inter-personal communication and in models to solve fights and human relations, of which the main ones are the model of Nonviolent Communication and the Human Dynamics outlook. She is a moderator of workshops in educational and health organizations and interest groups. She created the program The Giraffe Language, which was included in the core curriculum of the education system for third grade, as part of the Life Skills program.

Special thanks to Dr. Ada Becker for being the first person who believed in me and publicized my posts on the website HaGil HaRach. The publications opened up a new path for me, which led me to write the book.

Dr. Ada Becker is an educational-developmental counselor for early childhood. She is a parental guide for children from birth until the age of six on the topics of education and development. The field of social development is her top priority and she is the author of the book With Whom Did You Play in School Today? The Social World of Very Young Children (published by the MOFET Institute).

Special thanks to Mrs. Arnina Kashtan for the help with the professional and grammatical editing of the book and for her help in improving the content, as well as for materials she has written which accompanied me whilst writing. Thank you for the care, effort and support.

Arnina is a senior moderator and a life mentor, trainer and counselor with extensive experience in Nonviolent Communication, certified by the International Center for Nonviolent Communication and the founder of Meitarim, the center for Nonviolent Communication. Arnina has been learning and teaching Nonviolent Communication since 1992, both in Israel and abroad; she trains trainers and moderators, writes extensive learning materials for the study of Nonviolent Communication and is editing Dr. Rosenbergs first book in Hebrew, Nonviolent Communication A Language for Life.

Special thanks to Mrs. Hagit Lifshitz for the comments and advice on the book.

Hagit is an expert in Dr. Rosenbergs Nonviolent Communication approach and has rich experience in its moderation. She is an organizational consultant, personal and group trainer and a certified court mediator. She edits and presents the radio program On Wolves and Giraffes.

Special thanks to the staff of the Charuv Kindergarten in the city of Tel Aviv.

My dear team, together we grew, learned and underwent such a personal process. Thank you for your openness, for the attentiveness and honesty, thank you for the trust you placed in me as manager of the kindergarten.

Special thanks to the Charuv Kindergarten family throughout the years in the city of Tel Aviv-Jaffa

Dear families, thank you for co-operation, for expressing trust and for acceptance, for the openness, warmth and love. For the possibility to photograph and document various situations during the day in the kindergarten in photographs and videos.

Special thanks for the photography of the children

Hili and Doron Yacks from Yokneam

Moran and Ido Shai from Givatayim

Hila Twister from Tel Aviv

The children of the Charuv Kindergarten Tel Aviv, class of 2012-13

Introduction

In 2008, as part of my masters degree in Educational Counselling, I wrote a thesis about the correlation between the giraffe language program and the level of violence in kindergartens, and its effect on emotional intelligence skills.

The results of the research showed unequivocally that the Nonviolent Communication program, which is based on reflection, empathy towards myself and others, the ability to listen and connection to the feelings and needs of myself and others, was proved to prevent violence and to create an optimal climate.

As part of my belief system which I formulated over the years, I understand how much the process which I underwent as a part of the study and implementation of Nonviolent Communication, created an optimal climate in my kindergarten, and in the relationship of respect and trust between me and the staff, me and the parents, and primarily between me and the children.

I believe that the early childhood educator has the possibility to take different and varied actions in order to prevent violence which is, as known, one of the central topics on the Ministry of Educations agenda.

I wrote this book out of a desire to share with you and to expose you to a humanistic approach and outlook, which will enable us to understand various situations which take place in both the educational and home framework, in a new and different manner.

This book addresses professionals and parents equally and combines theory and practice. My goal is to give each and every person the opportunity to be introduced to the model and to experience it. The book does not serve as a replacement for in-depth study or training, but rather as an initial base for introduction to Nonviolent Communication.

Before we set out on a new path and get to know Nonviolent Communication, I want to describe the changes which took place in me and in the kindergarten children throughout an entire year.

I learned to see myself, to allocate space for what is important to me as a person. I learned to express my emotions and needs and to interact with different people in different places in a relationship-building and empathetic manner.

The kindergarten children learned to be independent and to take responsibility for their environment and for themselves. They learned to talk about the things which are important to them and about their emotions, and to interact with all those around them whilst understanding their needs and the needs of others (which is not simple for young children).