Dawnn Karen - Dress Your Best Life: Harness the Power of Clothes To Transform Your Confidence

Dont be eye candy. Be soul food.

Unknown

Recently I made history. I appeared on NBC News to discuss the death of the business suit and the increasingly casual nature of professional dress codes. It was the first time a Fashion Psychologist (or someone with that title anyway) had ever appeared on national TV in the United States. The anchor, Ali Velshi, introduced me as someone who studies how what we wear affects what we think. I loved that because even though Im the one invited to give lectures at places like Harvard and approached for guidance by undergrads at the London College of Fashion, I AM still a student. Just like you, I find that my eyes are constantly being opened to the ways attire and emotions interact. When it comes to what to wear or how to be happier, I dont pretend to have all the answers. But after reading this book, you should now have a firmer grasp on the right questions. Now that youve read these ten chapters, here is what I hope youll ask yourself as you shop and get dressed:

Does this make me feel incredible? (Instead of, Is this cool?)

Do I love it? (Instead of, Will they like it?)

Do I need it? (Instead of, Do I want it?)

What do I already have to work with? (Instead of, What new thing should I buy?)

Who made it, with what materials, and how ethically was it sourced and manufactured? (Instead of, What label is it?)

I spent the introduction of this book walking you through my personal history. It wasnt easy and it wasnt always pretty. But as we say good-bye, you begin your own journey toward sharper style and a more centered and confident state of mind. I hope we part ways as two true believers in styling from the inside out. Thank you for being open to my ideas. And for embracing the notion that emotional awareness is essential to good style because you really need one to have the other.

I hope that after reading this book you feel more and shop less. I hope you make conscious, deliberate style choices that serve you before you consider anyone or anything else. I hope that as you approach your (ideally way less crowded!) closet tomorrow, youll feel empowered to dress your best, and that doing so makes you feel better than you did yesterday.

As you carefully examine your clothes, they will no doubt bring up memories and associations. Some will be bittersweet, others joyful, others triumphant. Together those clothes represent a portrait of your life. I hope you understand what powerful assets your clothes are, that they can help to heal and protect you. And that by deciding what to wear every day, you have the opportunity to redefine yourself, to channel their magic, whether you decide to use your clothes to feel calmer, stronger, or simply more alive.

You already own the tools to feel better to feel your best. Theyre hanging in your closet. But most important, theyre within you.

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First published in the United States by Little, Brown Spark, an imprint of Little, Brown and Company, a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc. 2020
First published in Great Britain by Penguin Life 2020

Copyright Dawnn Karen Mahulawde, 2020

The moral right of the author has been asserted

ISBN: 978-0-241-98743-8

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

To Rosa-Lee Baby Cooper Cooper

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.

Maya Angelou

What if I told you fashion was a readily available, solidly reliable way to feel more in control of your life? That there are ways to match your clothing to your mood, to use accessories to conjure comfort, to reduce anxiety through color and fabric choices, to project power when you need it most? Clothes can help us maintain our cultural identity even when our environment demands we assimilate. Conversely, they can help us fit in when doing so is advantageous. With everything Ive discovered about Fashion Psychology, I cant wait to help you break out of style ruts, create uniforms when useful, prevent the dreaded I have nothing to wear feeling, curb compulsive shopping behaviors, and avoid trends when they wont work for your lifestyle or your budget. What if I told you clothes can help you lift yourself up out of despair? Fashion is not meaningless. Far from it. Fashion is the voice we use to declare ourselves to the world.

The first time it occurred to me to practice psychology within the framework of fashion, I was twenty-one, working toward dual masters degrees (a Master of Arts and a Master of Education) in the Counseling Psychology Department at Columbia Universitys Teachers College. As a recently graduated psychology major from Bowling Green State University in Ohio, I had spent my entire life in the Midwest. But when I arrived in New York for grad school, I hit the ground running. In addition to taking classes, I quickly achieved some side-hustle success as a runway model and fashion PR assistant. Though I served up fierce lewks on the runway, the truth is Im an introvert and a keen observer of those around me. I was awed by the kaleidoscope of styles I encountered on the subways and streets of my new city. As I clocked the outfits of my fellow students, other models backstage, and everyday New Yorkers, I just couldnt get this question out of my head: What do your clothes reveal about your psyche? This idea was the seed from which Fashion Psychology (as I came to call it) would grow. I knew back then by instinct what I know now from academic research and clinical experience: People express their emotions, their well-being, even their trauma through their clothes. And clothes, in turn, can be a powerful tool for healing. I know this because Ive lived it.

From the moment I set foot in Manhattan, I was home. The rhythm of the city just felt right. I was already accustomed to a rise-and-grind lifestyle, ready to balance rigorous academic demands with my creative passions. Growing up, I was a singer, studying opera and musical theater at the Cleveland School of the Arts. I had always excelled in my classes even skipping the fifth grade thanks to my curious mind and unending desire to please my parents. Achievement meant a lot in my family, especially to my father, a Jamaican immigrant who worked as a middle school janitor. My mom was an administrative assistant in a hospital, raising my brothers and me largely on her own, because my parents were never married. My twin brother and I shuffled back and forth between our parents homes the weekdays at our moms and the weekend at our dads. (My baby brother has a different father, whom he visited separately.) Studying hard and being onstage gave me an identity the performer and the risk taker that helped me distinguish myself from my shyer, more reserved siblings.