Charreah K. Jackson - Boss Bride: The Powerful Womans Playbook for Love and Success

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To every woman who has ever wondered if all her dreams were possible and if she would have to choose between love and success. Boss Bride, you can have anything you can imagine and everything your heart desires. Expect the best from this big and crazy world.

To all the women who paved the way for us, starting with the shoulders I stand on: Cynthia Hutto Jackson, my mother, prayer warrior, confidence molder and inspiration; my grandmothers, Myrtha and Naomi, and their mothers, Cora and Katie.

To my daughter I have yet to meet, I am committed to making this world better for you and generations of women to come.

You were always destined to make a splash in this world, leaving every person, thing, and experience you encounter better than you found it. To use all your passion in pursuit of the very best life has to offer. You are a Powerhouse. This is your Playbook. This is your sacred space with the tools to breathe life into your latest personal and professional dreams. I know you are busy, so this book gets to the point. But before you up level your success and relationships, every good book should start with a good story. Heres mine:

As women around the country decided this is the year they would drop those stubborn ten pounds, I entered 2008 with the goal to gain at least two hundred pounds every two weeks. Thats right. I wanted a full serving of a man across from me on a date at least twice a month. It didnt matter if he was tall, just my height in heels, rushing from his Wall Street job or coming from one of his gigs as a nonstarving artist, as long as he had a nice smile with solid values, lived with passion, and was steadily employed, I was open to meeting him.

I was two years into my life in New York City. I loved my job as a magazine editor and had settled into a spacious apartment where I watched Sex and the City s Carrie Bradshaw and Living Single s Regine Hunter. The two women showed off new shoes and new men regularly. I had my sexy red stilettos. So where in the hell was my steamy love life?

I realized, like the job and the apartment, hot dates were not going to come find me. I had to be proactive in achieving the love life I craved. And let me tell you, my life transformed when I leaned into love.

Over the last ten years Ive traveled the world learning the secrets of successful daters and couples, while navigating corporate America. I serve as a global speaker, dating and career coach, and the senior editor for Lifestyle & Relationships at Essence magazine. When relationships is in your job title, you get paid to hunt down the latest on love and be in everybody elses business. Ive walked the streets of New York City asking women when they had their last orgasm and planned a surprise proposal for a couple who met through a story I worked on. Ive interviewed more than one thousand people, including powerful women such as Hillary Clinton, Kerry Washington, and Sarah Jessica Parker. Ive hosted focus groups, singles events, and dating workshops. Ive gathered concrete evidence that NO, women dont have to choose between success and love, but we do have to be intentional to achieve both. What you are holding is your blueprint: how powerful women like you are unleashing their inner Boss Bride for personal and professional happiness.

So, what is a Boss Bride? Shes a woman that fuses the characteristics of an effective bossfocused, strategic, delegatorwith the best qualities of a bride at her weddinghappy, charming, living in the moment. Every woman can be a Boss Bride whether married ten years or unsure if she ever wants to head down the aisle. No matter your job title or relationship status, you can transform your life with the Boss Bride mentality and treat every day as your big day.

One of the reasons I wrote this book is because I started to feel women were succumbing to fears that the dreams for their personal lives werent possible. That is crazy! There has been no other time in history that has been this good for ambitious women.

You have already defied data. You have already beaten the odds. Meeting your partner, having children (if you choose), and leading a life full of love is certainly within your reach. Alongside 500 million sperm, you outpaced them all and combined with a single egg, and here you are with a life and path unlike that of anyone else on the planet. You have the right to revel in the magic of your life. Do not be deterred by headlines. Stay focused on your goals and know you are more than enough to have everything you dream of.

The most important career decision youll make is who you choose to marry.

Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and author of Lean In

There is nothing passive about whom we love and how we live. Who sleeps in our beds and parents our children, and how we use our passion and power are the most important decisions we make. As Sheryl points out, our dating decisions and professional dreams directly impact one another.

We are a generation of women with the most professional opportunities and accomplishments of any women before uswhich can be just as overwhelming as it is exciting. This book is a bridge to create a love life and career that fulfill you: its time to Go HARD and go home.

When I asked women how their career and love lives influenced one another, they kept it real. Heres what a few had to say.

Each day I grow more optimistic about my career and more pessimistic about my love life. I fear I wont find a man who can understand, appreciate, and complement my hustle.

Valerie, Los Angeles television producer

My boss told me to take my wedding ring off once so I would be more desirable to a client.

Tamara, New York business consultant

Ive seen a lot of women focus way more on work, and then wonder where their dating years have gone. After being advised by these women, Ive decided to pay a bit more attention to my dating life and pursue a long-term relationship sooner than later.

Berkeley graduate student

As I continue to progress in my career, will my fianc feel a certain way if he is not progressing on the same track?

L. Alexander, New York PR executive

In my professional life, I am the expert and go-to woman that can get us to where we need to be. In my relationship, I want to be the you choose, dear type of woman. I want to surrender the leadership role.

Sharon, 38, nonprofit director

First dates definitely ask about career goals. Ive had guys also pry into my reasoning behind career decisions and ask about school loans. Recently a guy asked about my interest rates.

Kirsten, 29, DC graduate student

As women continue to outnumber men on college campuses and open our own businesses at increasing rates, we are facing a new reality, which requires a modern approach to relationships. To crack the code on how powerful women maintain marriages and careers that curl their toes, I interviewed more than a hundred Working Wives to get their secrets along with tips from legendary Boss Brides such as First Lady Michelle Obama and Melissa McCarthy. You are holding insight from more than one thousand years of marriage and career success by accomplished women.