Bill and Pam have given parents the guidebook theyve been looking for. With refreshing honesty born out of experience, the Farrels share both wisdom and practical strategy for talking with your kids about sex. If you are a parent, you need this book.
Jill Savage, mother of five, founder and CEO of Hearts at Home
All studies show that the more positive, healthy sex education they receive from home, the less promiscuous your kids will be. Bill and Pam Farrel have created a great resource to help you with some of the most important questions of your kids lives. The Farrels will help you have meaningful conversations with your children about one of Gods most wonderful giftssexuality.
Jim Burns PhD, President of HomeWord Ministries and author of Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality and The Purity Code
Bill and Pam Farrel powerfully impact parents with the need to fight proactively for this next generation. They equip and encourage you to impart truth, vision, and purpose to your children. While encouraging you to commit your children into Gods hands, the Farrels will guide you to stand strong during these turbulent times.
Julie Hiramine, founder of Generations of Virtue and author of Guardians of Purity
HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011, by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Verses marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Verses marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
Cover by Left Coast Design, Portland, Oregon
Bill and Pam Farrel are represented by the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Ste #200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920.
Cover photos iStockphoto / svetikd; Yari Arcurs / Shutterstock
10 QUESTIONS KIDS ASK ABOUT SEX
Copyright 2013 by Bill and Pam Farrel
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-4919-4 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-4920-0 (eBook)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
To all those who were in our youth groups, our church, our Fellowship of Christian Athletes huddlesstand strong!
To all of our children and grandchildrenbe lights of righteousness!
To Penny Harrington and Robin Collier, our Aaron and Hurthanks for holding us up in this battle to rescue a generation!
To Jill Savage of Hearts at Home, our editor, Kathleen, and the courageous team at Harvest House Publishersthank you for being brave watchmen standing guard to protect the hearts, minds, and very lives of children, teens, and young adults .
To the parents who will read and use this bookthanks for being a hero to your kids and parents of valor in our society. The world is a better place because you care .
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love .
1 C ORINTHIANS 16:13-14
You whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!
P HILIPPIANS 4:1
Contents
Do everything in love.
1 Corinthians 16:14
A t some point, every parent and child will ask, How can I talk to you about this? The simplest question about sex from the mouth of your child can send shivers up the back of all of us. And our kids will have hundreds of questions about love, sex, dating, and relationships as they grow up! When it does happen, when they do ask those sometimes hard-to-answer questions, we grown-ups often vacillate between feeling all flustered and tongue-tied or traveling clear to the other end of the spectrum and getting a heart-pounding sense of duty to communicate everything on this delicate subject perfectly so as not to warp our children forever. Often we feel much like the parent in this story:
One day a grade-schooler came home and in the middle of doing her spelling homework she asked her mother, How do you get babies?
Flustered, the mother rambled, explaining about the birds and bees and body parts. She waxed on about moral responsibility and wise choices. Her daughter sat wide-eyed and mouth gaping open as she tried to process the barrage of information.
The next day while the little girl sat doing her homework again, she proclaimed to her mother, Mom! I know how to make babies!
Mom smiled, thinking the talk had gone better than she first thought. Then her daughter said, Our teacher told us today. You drop the y and add ies !
Imperfect in deliverybut this moms heart was in the right place because she cared! And you care too. You picked up this book because you care. You care about your childs, your tweens, or your teens well-being. You care about his or her choices. You care about every part of their lives, even one of the most sensitive, yet most vital areas of their soul: their sexual identity, sexual choices, and future sexual enjoyment. You are to be commended. As a parent, you are a cut above average. You are willing to step out and step into the whirlwind of controversy, questions, and continual avalanche of information (some good and some bad) on this topic. You are reaching out and walking into this unknown place because deep in your heart, you want to protect your child from pain and provide him or her with the happiest possible future. If we could give you a medal for being a brave, concerned, involved parent, we would. You are our hero, but more importantly, you are a hero to your son or daughter.
What Is a Hero?
Because this book was written during wartime, with the media daily flashing stories of the heroic, we want to draw a comparison between you, the parent, and our brave men and women in uniform who fight to defend our democracy and liberty. They put themselves in harms way on our behalf. These heroes do so because they believe in a greater cause: freedom.
We had the awesome honor of being asked to speak at Walter Reed Army Medical Center for the soldiers in the Wounded Warrior unit at a couples date night. One of the soldiers there shared a list of his injuries with us: brain trauma, shrapnel throughout his body from an exploding IED, a broken shoulder, and a leg shattered from the knee down. The broken leg wasnt discovered for months after the explosion because this soldier just kept using it!