Bill Farrel - The Before-You-Marry Book of Questions

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible , 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

This book contains stories in which the author has changed peoples names and some details of their situations in order to protect their privacy.

Cover design by Left Coast Design, Portland, Oregon

Cover photo bluehand / Shutterstock

The authors are represented by the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920. www.alivecommunications.com.

THE BEFORE-YOU-MARRY BOOK OF QUESTIONS

Copyright 2013 by Bill and Pam Farrel

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Farrel, Bill, 1959-

The before-you-marry book of questions / Bill and Pam Farrel.

pages cm

ISBN 978-0-7369-5147-0 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-5148-7 (eBook)

1. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianityMiscellanea. 2. WeddingsPlanningMiscellanea. I. Title.

BV835.F36 2013

248.8'44dc23

2013022699

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He who finds a wife finds what is good
And receives favor from the L ORD .

(Proverbs 18:22)

To our daughters-in-love,
Hannah and Caleigh .

We prayed for each of you before you were even conceived.
You are so perfect for each of our sons,
who were wise enough to marry you.
And after raising three sons,
it is so much fun to have two more Mrs. Farrels in the clan!

To the couples who have given Bill the honor
of performing your wedding ceremony,
thanks for sharing this journey of love.
Other couples will be strengthened
because of the wisdom God imparted in our times together .

L ots of thank-yous ! to Bob Hawkins Jr. and the wonderful Harvest House Publishers team.

O verwhelming gratitude to Rod Morris, our amazing editor of extreme patience, talent, and wit.

V ery heartfelt appreciation to our marriage mentorsthe Conways, the Wilcoxes, the Bucks, the ONealswho shared their insights and time to make us wiser so we can help others.

E xtreme gratefulness to our married children, especially our sons, who have been used as examples in book after book, year after year. Guys, thanks for living a life of integrity, like an open book, so others can gain from your authenticity.

Contents

May the most you wish for
Be the least you get .

Y ou picked up this book because you are in love (or you hope to be in love)! Love matters to you. You might also want to read this book because you want the best life has to offer and you know that experiencing real love is a big part of what makes for a happy life. You also might be holding this book because you have been hurt by love and you never want to experience that kind of pain again. Or you might simply have a lot of questions about love:

How can I tell if I am in love?

What is healthy love?

Is there such a thing as love at first sight?

Can love last a lifetime?

Can I heal my broken heart and find love again?

How do I navigate love and move a relationship forward in a positive way?

How can I get better at falling in love with the right person?

What are the things that blow love apart and how can I avoid them?

How do I know that this is the one?

What is the next step in love?

Should I marry?

We want to help you explore those questionsand more! Love uncovers lots of questions within us because it is a journey of self-discovery driven forward by curiosity. As you read, we are confident we have questions to add you might not even have thought about asking yet.

The Original Love

We often have some unique views on love from childhood, like those from these kids:

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other. Karl, age 5

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs. Chrissy, age 6

Love is what makes you smile when youre tired. Terri, age 4

Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK. Danny, age 7

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss. Emily, age 8

Love is whats in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. Bobby, age 7

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day. Noelle, age 7

Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well. Tommy, age 6

Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken .Elaine, age 5

Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than a movie star. Chris, age 7

When you love somebody your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you. Karen, age 7

The View from the One Who Knows Love Best

Lets begin by looking at love by the one who created loveGod. How do we know God originated love?

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love . Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them (1 John 4:16 emphasis added).

We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19).

When the Bible says, God is love, it means that love is the driving force of his character. Everything he does, everything he creates, everything he communicates stems from his love. Out of his desire for us to experience the fullness of life, he cloned love, making it available for all the humans he created out of his love. Since he is the creator of love, any time your love for one another aligns with Gods principles, it will run smoother, work better, feel richer, be kinder, and have a sweeter influence on others. We can bank on this love. First John 4:16 says we know and rely on the love God has for us. Know means we grasp it with our minds, and rely on means we embrace it in our hearts. Gods love is intellectually and emotionally faithful.

It Is All Good!

A very interesting word is repeated throughout the creation account in Genesis:

When God created light, God saw that the light was good (Genesis 1:3-4).

When he created the land and sea, God saw that it was good (1:9-10).

When he created vegetation, God saw that it was good (1:11-12).

When he created the sun and moon, God saw that it was good (1:16-18).