Bradley Gerstman - Marry Me!: Three Professional Men Reveal How to Get Mr. Right to Pop the Question

Chapter 1
Inside the Mind and Heart of the Committed Man

Yes, its true. We used to be swinging single menout on the town every night, meeting women, partying like crazy, dating up a storm. But, now, two of us have actually settled down in a committed relationship (and one is looking to do the same). Wondering what it took for us professional men to say good-bye to bachelorhood and actually pop the question? Well, were about to tell you.

But first let us tell you who we are. Were three professional guys who helped women friends with their dating questions and found that our advice actually worked. Drawing from our own experiences, we spoke frankly about how we think and react in relationships. As it turned out, our insight was new to the women with whom we shared it, and our advice was helpful to them in their romantic dealings with men. Over time, we recognized that most guys held similar views about relationships. So, with the encouragement of our friends, we decided to write a book to help women understand men.

Our first book, What Men WantThree Professional Single Men Reveal to Women What It Takes to Make a Man Yours, was very well received worldwide. Here in the United States, we were interviewed on television shows including The View, 20/20, The Charles Grodin Show, Montel Williams , and Geraldo . We appeared on such national radio shows as the Tom Leykis Show and Loveline . We were even a Cosmopolitan magazine cover story. What Men Want was translated into more than a dozen languages and warmly embraced by women all over the world. Our Web site, www.whatmenwant.com, continues to attract thousands of visitors.

Since the publication of What Men Want two years ago, weve received thousands of letters and e-mails from our readers around the world telling us how weve helped them understand men. How weve saved their relationships. How they appreciate our straightforward, honest, and friendly tone. To this day, our first book remains a dating bible for thousands of women.

But women want more answers from us. How do we know? In addition to fan mail, weve also received hundreds of letters from readers asking additional questions about men, dating, and marriage. Whats the most common question that women ask us? Why are men afraid of commitment? We are flooded with letters from women who want to get married, but cant seem to overcome their boyfriends fear of commitment. Weve been asked about this issue so much, in fact, that we decided to devote a whole book to it.

So, Marry Me! Three Professional Men Reveal How to Get Mr. Right to Pop the Question is our Popping the Question bible. In it we expose the way men feel about commitmentincluding all the dirty details. In response to what we know about mens fear of the C word, we include here a four-step program to help you avoid the typical roadblocks to commitment and become the kind of girl hell classify as marriage material. (And like it or not, men do sit around talking to each other about how this woman is marriage material, and that woman isntthis woman has wife potential, and that woman doesnt.) We spilled our guts in What Men Want we disclosed mens deepest, darkest feelings, and were back to do it again. Now we are focusing specifically on mens approach to committed intimacy. We hope what we have to share will help you bring that special man down the aisle next to you.

Some relationship authors think that all you need to land a man is a frivolous code, or to accept the fact that your man retreats into a cave, or some old-fashioned rules that worked for your grandmother. We think its a bit deeper than that. And we want to share with you the truth about how the male mind really works. Why should you listen to us? We are three guys who represent the full spectrum of men heading toward marital commitment. Chris is single and searching, Rich is engaged, and Brad is married. These different profiles enable us to offer a wide range of experiences, insights, and perspectives on the male approach to commitment. We bet youre wondering how in the world Brad, the player among us, got snagged. No one believed it was possiblenot Chris, Rich, or any of our friends. This is proof that it can happen to any guy. Getting a guy to commit to marriage is not impossible. We will show you how and why Brad and Rich popped the question. Youll soon see that all it takes is the right woman who follows the proper steps.

When it comes to answering relationship questions mens lips are generally sealed shut. As you know, men rarely feel comfortable revealing their inner emotions and thoughts. When it comes to matters of the heart, its as if they cant even speak. But as weve said all along, behind that tough exterior is a very vulnerable, caring man. In this book we will share:

Why men can commit to their careersbut not to a relationship

What men think about dating divorced women and single mothers

Whats really going on inside mens heads when you start to get serious

How sex changes once youre in a committed relationship

How men truly feel about moving in together

The specific psychological stages a man goes through as he approaches commitment

The steps you can take to reassure a man who is about to pop the question

We are three professional menBrad is a lawyer, Chris is an accountant, and Rich is a doctorand our book gives you a private peek into the hearts and minds of professional men. We dont hold anything back. We tell you exactly how it is. Being lifelong friends, we three are able to be completely honest with one another and to discuss the topics that most men avoidtheir inner thoughts, their emotions, and their true feelings about love and relationships. We are able to compare our thoughts and provide solid insight into how the professional single manor any man serious about pursuing a careerviews commitment, engagement, and marriage. We share our experiences, our feelings, and our advice. Having consulted with other men all over the country, we are amazed at how their fears, emotions, needs, and relationship patterns are so similar to ours, whether theyre professionals or blue-collar workers. This has only confirmed for us thateven with career, economic, or geographical differenceswhen it comes right down to it, men consistently share a very similar perspective.

Our approach? Think of us as your best guy friends. Picture us talking to you in a bar or lounge. Youve been feeling completely baffled and befuddled by men and what they want. You turn to us and ask us questionsabout men, their motives, and their feelings on committed relationships. Well, friends, here are the answers youve been waiting for. You see, its simple for the three of us to answer your questions because we know how men think. Our straightforward, relaxed approach might shock youor it might put you at ease. Either way, we will unveil for you the secrets of how your boyfriend can be transformed into the perfect husband.

This book is for all engaged, dating, and single women. We realize that women want to understand how men thinkhow they view marriage, and each specific step leading up to it. Well help you do just that by surveying the type of relationship in which youre currently involved. Is it simply a good for now relationship? If it is, you must realize that your man will never marry you. Does your relationship have the potential to move to the ultimate level of lifelong commitment? Then well tell you how to become a woman with wife potentiala girl whos marriage material in mens eyes, what we call a marriage material girlby providing you with the essential how-tos to get your boyfriend to tie the knot. With our help your odds of marrying Mr. Right are much higher.