RM Johnson - Why Men Fear Marriage: The Surprising Truth Behind Why So Many Men Cant Commit

Why Men Finally Seek Marriage

I f youre thumbing through the pages of this book, I can assume that, whether youre married or not, you have some interest in discovering why men fear marriage. Maybe you have this interest because you would like to marry one day, and after all the dates youve been on, all the relationships youve had, you havent once come close to receiving that proposal. Or after being divorced once or twice, youre ready to try marriage again. Or maybe its because all of your girlfriendswomen you believe are beautiful, intelligent, and successfulalways remark how men today just dont seem to want marriage.

Whatever the reason, I am confident this book will tell you all you need to know to answer the question of why men do indeed fear marriage.

But what Id like to do before I continue with this introduction is give you a little piece of advice if you happen to be one of the so-called lucky women who are in a relationship that seriously seems to be heading toward marriage.

If you plan on marrying your man and he is under thirty years olddont! Hes too young.

Im not saying that hes immature, or that hes not smart or successful, or that he doesnt have the most respectable intentions. Hes just too young.

If youre at the age, where, on average, youre dating men under the age of thirty, this might be one of the reasons why youre not married. Your man is too busy dating other women. Its a conquest of ours that started not long after the first time we had sex.

Young men love the hunt, the chase, the challenge of finding an attractive woman, getting in her head, and talking her into what he wants most. Sex.

For so much of our young lives, this is how we measured success: how many women we have slept with. This is what drives most of us under the age of thirty, and what we think about while at workwhat bar or club were going to go to in order to talk to women.

But dont despair. Theres a point when this becomes old to us. The age varies, but its somewhere around the mid-thirties when one day, were attempting to have sex with any woman who will allow us to, and the next, were looking for a wife.

I see it happening to all my friends. Theyre changing right in front of my eyes. Let me tell you why that is.

Sex is great. Youve probably heard this from a male friend of yours, but what men think is even better than sex is new sex.

But theres a point when even new sex becomes the same old thing.

I was speaking to a close friend of mine the other day. He said, I know Im sounding like a chick, but Im tired of having sex if theres no emotional involvement.

I agreed with him, jokingly told him that he did sound like a chick, but I understood exactly where he was coming from.

For the average guy, who has been having sex for almost twenty years, or even more, how much more does he need? What more can we experience that we havent already felt, or tasted?

But theres something else. We become tired.

You ask, tired of what? From the day-to-day juggling of women.

Most of us, over the course of our dating lives, dont date just one woman at a time. We date three or four or five.

Its wrong, I know. All men know this, but we do it anyway, feeling as though we have to supplement one woman with the next, in order to attain all the qualities we want, but cant find in a single woman.

This is fun for us when were twenty, or even thirty, but after fifteen or twenty years of dating several women, lying to others, having to schedule your comings and goings so as not to have you bumping into our other women when leaving our housesthis becomes simply exhausting.

Bottom line, we not only get tired of all the calculating, we get tired of you, of having to be a caring, concerned full-time boyfriend five times over. Its hard enough maintaining one relationship.

There will always be a certain amount of drama attached to each partner. We accept that, as Im sure you do when dating us. But imagine getting drama multiplied by five. Dealing with PMS from five separate women, especially when two or three of your periods occur around the same time.

Imagine buying birthday gifts for five different women, and eating Thanksgiving dinner five separate times. Then theres five Christmas gifts to purchase, five invitations to spend that holiday with your family, not to mention New Years Eve11:59 P.M. on December 31 happens only once a year. We have to decide which one of you to spend that moment with.

After so many years, we mature, and determine that we dont feel like dealing with that drama anymore.

Also, over those years of maturation, while were maxing out our credit cards, buying those Christmas gifts, the smart man, the kind of man youre looking for now, was also going to school, getting an education. He was climbing the corporate ladder, earning and saving money, and acquiring assets, like a home and investments.

So one day, we look around and realize we no longer want to stay out till one A.M. on a Wednesday night and then stagger home, only to wake up with a pounding headache and have to go to work. We want to build on the success weve had on our jobs; we want to climb even higher up that ladder. But once that happens, we dont want to discover that the only person we have to share those accomplishments with is the girl with the beautiful body we met in the club a week ago, took home, had sex with, then woke up to find she had scurried away after vomiting in our sheets.

No, thats not what we want.

When we were kids, after we came home from school with a star on our papers to show our mothers, she rewarded us with a hug and a kiss. We want that again. We want someone wholl appreciate what weve done, what were doing, and show us that appreciation, that supportive affection.

Around the mid-thirties is when men just naturally settle, when we (most of us, not all of us) get tired of having our guy friends over at all times of night, playing Xbox 360. This is the time when we know we should be eating healthier, and for some reason (whether its true or not) believe that a woman would make sure that happens.